redgirl1974's Journal, 10 February 2016

old habits are hard to break. Im on limited mobility right now due to a issue with my back/rear and can only walk 15-20 min today instead of my 1.5 hrs at the gym, yet I woke up same as always, made coffee, fed the cats and right as I was gonna shower, kinda caught myself, crawled back into bed and turned on the news.. I was sad for only 5 min bc my oldest son (21 yrs) had just gotten outta work (he works nights) and randomly called me to talk and said 'I love you" 1st when we hung up .. so that was nice and made it better but it kinda got me thinking. I feel empty when I cant work out.. Ive made weight loss and diet and exercise my everything. Not that its bad but I dont think it necessarily good either to be so obsessed. Im literally freaking out about no gym and paranoid AF that Ill fall back into my old eating habits if I dont have the gym to balance it out. Im not gonna work out no matter how paranoid I am but I realize, I need to feel better about myself and not just relay on the gym to do that for me.. I guess going to the gym makes me feel strong and confident, but I can be all that with out the gym. I am Michael and Jay's mom, I am Sergio's wife and Norma and Bruce's daughter.. I dont need the gym to be strong and confident bc I already am...... (insert teary eyes here) .. Have a great day everyone..

Diet Calendar Entry for 10 February 2016:
582 kcal Fat: 34.57g | Prot: 33.95g | Carb: 35.16g.   Breakfast: Onions, Mushrooms, Celery, Kale, Albertsons Heavy Whipping Cream, Sugar in the Raw Stevia in The Raw (Packet), Coffee. Lunch: Tomatoes, Iceberg Lettuce (Includes Crisphead Types), Mission Carb Balance Whole Wheat Tortillas (28g), Ground Beef (Cooked). Snacks/Other: Sargento Balanced Breaks Natural Sharp Cheddar Cheese with Cashews and Cranberries. more...

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Comments 
you are amazing whatever way you look at it! you are funny, caring, positive and determined. you have great qualities that even come though over a computer screen. maybe... since you can't go too far...maybe do your hair, make up, wear a decent outfit and just feel good that way for the time being.  
10 Feb 16 by member: 8hunter6
(Insert smile here) 
10 Feb 16 by member: millerm40
yes, you are already strong and confident. Take care of you back for a couple of days. Nothing will change. Before you know it you'll be back to the gym. 
10 Feb 16 by member: auroraioanid
You can do this we all have minor set backs it is called life. So smile and suck it up butter cup and get back to what you know. 
10 Feb 16 by member: Rockiesfan
(Insert hug here) 
10 Feb 16 by member: HCB
Thanks for the reminder about what's really important 
10 Feb 16 by member: dboza
It's a beautiful thing that you became aware of that mindset-sometimes this type of thinking develops disorders (eating disorders, compulsive over-exercising that becomes harmful). Did you find anything else today to fill that hole without going to the gym? And BTW my eyes were tearing by the time I got to the part that said (insert teary eyes here) HUGS (insert smile and sniffle here) 
10 Feb 16 by member: XshapeshiftX
Your obsession is normal because you've got a goal in place and you're working towards it, just like a project at work or a home improvement in your house. Once it's finished, you'll likely just enjoy the benefits (great health, beautiful clothes). 
10 Feb 16 by member: soonsoonsoon
It's great reading your journal, and everyone's comments! Your great because you're you! Oh, and exercise is addictive, fact. Have a read here, if you haven't already - https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Exercise_addiction (if it doesn't post, look up 'exercise addiction' topic in Wikipedia). 
10 Feb 16 by member: heidij123
Your journal entry reads like the old adage of the workaholic on his deathbed - nobody remembered him for his work but for him and his personal qualities. Fanatical exercising is much the same thing. Everything in balance RedGirl x Wish you better and wish you a peaceful recovery. 
11 Feb 16 by member: KellyM25
Now you can use the time you normally spend at the gym to do the little things we don't normally have time for, eg clear out a draw in the kitchen or do a craft project. - something that will give you a sense of achievement and keep your mind busy. :) Thank you for reminding me that we are loved for who we are, not what shape we are.  
11 Feb 16 by member: eclipsesolaire
8hunter, I love your post bc thats so me.. the girly me... My mom went out and got me a really pretty blouse and DH made reservations for Saturday.. in 14 yrs DH has never made reservations anywhere. lol.. Soon, you hit it right on the nail too... thank you everyone for the wonderful support. I plan on using the extra time to catch up on some shows and ended up watching the whole 4 season of Vanilla Ice Project on Netflix for what reason?I have no idea..BUT, that was yesterday. Im going back to work today (from home) and decided to invest in a fancy desk chair for my back. Dr is waiting on xrays to decide where to go next so for now Im limted to 20 min of walking a day.. I plan to use those at the grocery store tonite. Time to be the best version of me I can be ! the gym doesnt define who I am.. I do... and today, Im a bad ass pillar of strength (thanks HCB for that qoute!).  
11 Feb 16 by member: redgirl1974
Praying your back issues get resolved quickly. Being in pain is so wearing on both mind and body. Hugs to you Red. 
11 Feb 16 by member: rhontique
We can get so tied up with our diet and exercise that it does become obsessive. I have to be careful because I can tend to rattle on about stuff in conversations, especially the science of food and diet. After a while I realize that nobody really cares all that much about what I'm saying but at least I'm passionate about it. I hope the physical issues get better soon, though it's hard you are better off taking a break from the gym and letting things heal. Maybe there's other things you can do like stretching exercises that would help and also get you some activity going on? In the meantime we know that weight loss is more about diet than anything else, just keep that in check and you'll be fine. This is likely just for a limited time, hang in there! 
11 Feb 16 by member: jmb3450
This type of personal growth is attractive on everyone. What an achievment. Congrats. 
11 Feb 16 by member: christinekennedy
I am trying to break my dark chocolate habit. I eat like 2 dark chocolate squares almost every other day after work while I cook dinner =( 
11 Feb 16 by member: Panigale1199
A great time to meditate. Feel the connection. I agree great personal growth balance is good. I actually got wayne dyers meditation tapes ,u might want to check out. You tube,Laurie 
11 Feb 16 by member: laurieslife
You do know Red life is what we make it-So make it the best for you 
11 Feb 16 by member: Rockiesfan
This too will past. Take time to heal and count your blessings. Things will get better health wise. 
11 Feb 16 by member: chesgreen
Hey Red, thnx for sharing!! To echo all the great posts above...you aren't going to lose your weight loss mojo, it's a great time to take stock of life and appreciate where you are and who you've become, take care! 
11 Feb 16 by member: Steven Lloyd

     
 

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