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Family + Drama = Understanding My weekend was busy. I helped clean a house on Saturday for my cousin and while I was dirty and tired when I got home, I was happy to help out. On Sunday, my whole day was turned upside down. Needless to say, I was told by another family member that I am too skinny and everyone thinks I am starving myself. I know I have mentioned this in past journals, but I am 5’4” and as of now my weight runs between 160.4 lbs. on a good day to 162 lbs. on a bad day. I am a healthy weight and not skinny. I tried to ignore that comment, but my feelings were hurt. I guess that comes with being human. Losing weight is so hard, but keeping the weight off is the real struggle. The weight loss struggle is not only physical but also emotional. If you exercise everyday (1 hour a day) some people see it as obsessive, if you have a restricted calorie diet (less than 2,000 calories) some people may think you are starving yourself. In the past if I was hurt by a comment someone made about me I would eat the pain away. Now when I am faced with the same situation, I cannot turn to food for understanding, but have to try to understand myself and why I let people’s words hurt me. The one thing I am learning about myself as I am getting older is that I am still that insecure little girl that was picked on for being overweight. Aging does not grant change in our spirit, but gives us an understanding of our flaws and strengths. My flaw is insecurity but my strength is in understanding that I am insecure and learning to develop the strength to handle negativity. ❤
Diet Calendar Entries for 23 March 2015:
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1626 kcal
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Fat: 38.02g | Prot: 66.64g | Carb: 254.00g.
Breakfast: Unsweetened Applesauce Cups, Craisins - Fruit & Nut Trail Mix, Nellie & Joe's Key West Lime Juice, Tap Water, Great Value No Calorie Sweetener (Made with Aspartame), Nature's Own 100% Whole Wheat Thin Sliced Bagels, Butterball Natural Inspirations Turkey Breast - Maple, Laura Lynn Fat Free American Singles, Torani Sugar Free French Vanilla Syrup, Torani Raspberry Syrup, Truvia Sweetener (Packet), Sweet'N Low Zero Calorie Saccharin Sweetener, Sunny South Chocolate Drink, Flavored Coffee (made From Ground). Dinner: Redd's Strawberry Ale, McDonald's McChicken - No Mayo & Lettuce. Snacks/Other: Tap Water, Nellie & Joe's Key West Lime Juice, Truvia Sweetener (Packet), Sweet'N Low Sweet'n Low, Great Value No Calorie Sweetener (Made with Aspartame), Great Value Sea Salt Ice Cream Sandwiches. more...
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2079 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Showering - 4 minutes, Sitting - 7 hours, Walking (slow) - 2/mph - 54 minutes, Resting - 10 hours and 32 minutes, Sleeping - 5 hours and 30 minutes. more...
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1 to 20 of 29
 Comments
Geez, I'm sorry they're making it so hard for you...do your best to ignore them, you do what feels right for you! Some people just like to make drama and stick their noses where they don't belong!!
23 Mar 15 by member: Socolova
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Gin, don't worry about what they are telling 5'4" at 162 is not to skinny, they should be telling you how healthy and beautiful you look :) Don't be insecure you are a smart, strong, beautiful woman don't forget that
23 Mar 15 by member: Rockiesfan
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Thank you, Socolova and Rockiesfan for your kind words. I will get over this insecurity one day.
23 Mar 15 by member: gingin40
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Sounds like the people making these comments are insecure themselves. Sounds like you're looking better and feeling better about yourself and THEY are jealous of this. Take care of yourself. Let go of their negativity. Strangely, people like to see other people fail at their goals. Your goal is health. Reach for it, baby!!
23 Mar 15 by member: Chowdah
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Maybe that is how they are complimenting you on how good you look. Sometimes people just don't know the right way to say it!
23 Mar 15 by member: dsptchr572
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You have lost a lot of pounds in the past 9 and a half months. Your family member mistakenly thinks there is something wrong, that you are losing too much. If you live with him/her, it can be stressful. If you don't, then don't worry about it. Just smile and say, "Thanks for thinking about me" and don't argue with him/her. Do what makes you feel good.
23 Mar 15 by member: Deb_N
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Brilliant insight! You need to do what is comfortable for you. People sometimes misunderstand what is THEIR business and what is NOT their business. Were the comments well meaning? Or were they out of jealousy? You have done well and maintenance is your goal.
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I agree with Dsptchr572: maybe your family was trying to compliment you on how good you look, but they didn't use the greatest phrasing. If you are living in a way that is healthy for YOUR body, then don't let anyone discourage you.
23 Mar 15 by member: Sugar Cat
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Deb_N may be right, or the fact that you are taking control of your weight could be threatening and they could definitely be jealous. It's hard for some people to be happy for you when they are fighting their own battles. I have a friend that did the exact same thing to me when I dropped my baby weight back in the day.
Feel proud of what you have accomplished and "let the haters hate".
23 Mar 15 by member: fat2foxy
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They are just used to the old overweight you and they will think you are too skinny now because of it, especially if they themselves are overweight. When someone tells me I am too skinny I feel great LOL
23 Mar 15 by member: snezica
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I'd love someone to tell me I'm too skinny! lol I can't see someone at 5,4 - 160 lbs as being skinny, never mind too skinny. I suspect that those that told you this are way obese themselves and are not liking the fact that you're going in the right direction and they are eating your dust. Live for yourself, not for what others think or say. You give them so much power when you react. Have some handy phrases to respond when they come out with these stupidities. Time to take back your power!
23 Mar 15 by member: NowIunderstand
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I would be ecstatic if someone told me I was too skinny at 5'4" and 160 lbs! I think that is a fantastic proportion! Just remember 100 lbs for the first 5 feet and 5 lbs for every inch after that. That's a general rule. Flexibility is a must with different bones structures of women. I am 5'2" and 120 to me is too low but 140-150 sounds very comfortable to me for my bone structure. I don't know you're family but just from the info you are providing sounds like somebody else is jealous and only intended to hurt or maybe is having a hard time adjusting to the "new" YOU!
23 Mar 15 by member: BeckyBaby65too
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Family, that's where it always comes down to with me too. I put some weight back on and I had some family members telling me that I looked better with the extra twenty pounds and others harassing me about having "given up" on my diet, although I had never actually given up. It's all about what you want, not them. Your body, your health, your decision. You know you're not starving yourself. Perhaps that's just something they like to think because it makes them feel better about their own weight situations. Sometimes I wonder if we wouldn't all be better off if we were more like animals, once youre grown you take off... never to return. A harsh thought isn't it. Oh well, I can always dream ;)
23 Mar 15 by member: Annabelle3117
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Ging: I love what Deb_N said "Just smile and say, "Thanks for thinking about me". I like that!!!
23 Mar 15 by member: JennBuck61
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Have you ever seen the movie Ya Ya Sisterhood. There's a scene when Sandra Bullock's character tells her Mother she looks too thin. When your family members tell you that you are too skinny, THANK THEM. Ask them if they are interested in how you took the weight off and maintaining your current HEALTHY weight? I know it's hard to come up with these positive retorts when being confronted, but if you have enough of them it becomes easier. They will start to realize that the "fat" you was not the norm, and the current you is.
23 Mar 15 by member: jeannieselby
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Comments like that, that you're starving yourself can be hurtful - but remember they come from a place of jealousy. Not everyone has the ability to stick with their plan like you are.
23 Mar 15 by member: nmporter
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I think people get jealous or just don't understand how you can lose weight without starving yourself. I have always had to work at keeping my weight down through eating healthy and exercising, but people don't see that part of our journey, so if they've tried to lose weight and gave up they don't understand how someone else could have success. I think you're so right about not changing our spirit as we age, but gaining understanding of ourselves. I've found that so true as I've gotten older. You're doing great, so don't let those negative people get you down.
23 Mar 15 by member: mars2kids
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This deff sounds like jealously. Your family member must see your success in getting healthier and more fit. They might see it as a threat (sounds extreme) and feels the need to bring you down (in hopes) to ruin your success, I am 5'4 as well.. I am about 150lbs and my family tells me how fat I got...lol... I know your pain. Just take it as a compliment that they are jealous of how great you look :P
23 Mar 15 by member: Panigale1199
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Sometimes, people make comments without thinking. You are at a good weight. As long as you feel healthy and are comfortable, then all is good.
23 Mar 15 by member: Hildi72
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Do what feels right for you. I gained 20 and am now working to get rid of it. I too was told I was too thin. They were used to seeing me at 246 and I was 164. I felt good and know I looked good. It's your body sweets. Do what makes you happiest. You're living in it, not them.
23 Mar 15 by member: ClassicRocker
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