From371to184's Journal, 06 August 2018

I hope this is an encouragement to a few - remembering where I've been.

While, at larger weights, over the past 14.5 months, I marked going from one BMI category to another... and celebrated!

But, now, as I'm closer to maintenance, homeostasis (call it what you will), the number on the scale... the BMI number... are just that... numbers.

And, the whole ideal of reaching/being a number doesn't resonate with me.

I guess what I'm saying is... I don't put much stock in conveniently fitting inside any type of clinical box.

In (small) part, thinking "clinically" got me where I was - by heeding advice that was designed by society as a "one-size-fits-all" approach to health and wellness.

Do you understand my frame of mind? Am I speaking Greek? Am I preaching to the choir?

I've NEVER been this small as an adult - NEVER. I've got no context to describe how I currently feel. Although I am aware of (some) limitations I have "earned" (thank you, Uncle Sam)... I've got no idea what I cannot do.

Dropping 151.5 lbs in the last 14.5 months without surgery has been the hardest (and, yet, MOST joyous) thing I've ever done (for me) in my life.

My chest is 42" (use to be 56"), my waist is 37.5" (use to be 64") and my hips are 39.5" (use to be 55.25")... and that's NOT taking into consideration what I believe the removal of the excess skin would do to further reduce those measurements.

Friends, this is virgin territory for me.

At times - and, I've confided in a few to this end - to this day, I often think of myself in terms of that morbidly obese guy that folks would cross to the other side of the street to avoid.

I know I have to claim my own goals; and, I believe that they're going to be more qualitative (NSVs, quality of life, physical ability) than quantitative (numbers, categories, etc.).

We all have to unlearn some of the mis-education we've been subjected to over the years (in my case, decades).

Sorry to wax rhapsodic - just talking (typing) it out helps me to process sometimes.

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1531 kcal

Fat: 128.61g | Prot: 69.53g | Carb: 26.77g.   Breakfast: Splenda No Calorie Sweetener Packets, Light Cream, Coffee, Fiorucci Hard Salami Panino. Lunch: Splenda No Calorie Sweetener Packets, Half and Half Cream, Coffee, Wegmans Vermont Sharp Cheddar Cheese, Boar's Head Beef Bologna. Dinner: Splenda No Calorie Sweetener Packets, Half and Half Cream, Coffee, Boar's Head Horseradish Cheddar Cheese, Wegmans Vermont Sharp Cheddar Cheese, Bologna, Meijer Sliced Salad Olives with Pimiento. Snacks/Other: Dr. Pepper Diet Dr. Pepper (Bottle), Skippy Natural Creamy Peanut Butter, Lindt Excellence Extra Fine Dark Chocolate 85% Cocoa. more...

2792 kcal

Activities & Exercise: Driving - 55 minutes, Walking (exercise) - 3.5/mph - 1 hour and 1 minute, Resting - 14 hours and 4 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...