Ms Elizabeth's Journal, 13 March 2017

This journal entry may be read to the song "I can see clearly now" by Johnny Nash. Yes I know the song is now stuck in your head.. and you're welcome.

I'm beginning to realize that I don't know myself. I thought I knew myself. I see myself every day. I think that's the problem. When you see something everyday or someone every day and nothing changes you just kind of fall into a rut. You go day to day and never really realize things. You do the same things over and over and over again and it becomes a routine. A life sucking routine that makes hours and days and years just disappear. Depressing right? Hence the whole read this and listen to this song while you do it.

I think the weight loss last week came with my whole I can see clearly now moment. It wasn't an aha perfect diet or aha this workout is the one or even oooh I love kale so much all I'm going to do is eat kale. Seriously.. kale?

My aha moment was realizing that I wasn't really living. I was getting up every day and getting everyone out the door, going to work, working, commuting home, picking up the kids, going to the barn, doing chores, cooking dinner, cleaning the house, doing laundry, doing dishes, playing with the kids, getting the kids to sleep, getting on an elliptical for 30 minutes with my earbuds on full blast because I needed to destressify. It's not a word but it should be. Maybe watching a half hour of tv or staring blankly at my laptop trying to write a book and then.. going to bed. Where I would press restart and do the whole thing over the next day. My life is a rut, my marriage is a rut, my diet is a rut, my body is in a rut, my workouts are a rut. Life should not be a rut. Hense the sunshine song.. that and we're predicted to get 10 inches of snow this week and sunshine is a welcome thing.

Good and bad things come when realizing youre in a rut. I don't know exactly what those good and bad things are right now but I do know I don't want my whole life to be a rut. Once I realized that a couple things happened... I didn't reach for the junk food. I didn't dread the 30 minutes or the planks or any of it. I didn't feel constantly tired. I felt more excited about running around in circles with a 2 yr old growling like a monster because playing monster is fun. The other thing that happened is the scale moved. No new diet, no new workout, no new.. just realizing life should not be a rut.

Not my usual journal I know but I don't usually make song recommendations either. Or sing in the shower.. which I also did to the tiny humans horror.

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540 kcal

Fat: 41.26g | Prot: 31.42g | Carb: 8.87g.   Breakfast: Bacon, Egg, Land O'Lakes Mini Moos Half & Half Creamers, Coffee. Lunch: Fresh & Easy Turkey & Bacon Cobb Salad. more...