Bodybeautiful870's Journal, 21 April 2015

I feel amazing! I'm sleeping better, I'm more alert and active. I started my Couch to 5k app yesterday. It kicked my rear. My legs were on FIRE. But, today I walked with my mom, we made a 2 mile stent around the block and did well. Tomorrow, I'll pickup on day 2. Hopefully, now that I know what I'm in for I won't be so surprised.

And amongst all this; I worry sometimes. Is this really going to come off? Am I going to be stuck this way? How am I going to get this done? BUT for the first time in a long time I haven't just looked at my self and felt defeated. Maybe it's because I'm actually, keeping track and listening to the right people. Maybe, this really is my turn. I know that what I'm going through, someone else has gone through before. My news is not new news. Yet, it can fell like quicksand, and fast.

A few weeks ago my co-workers got this idea for the core 3 of us to go on a diet together, One wanted to lose her baby weight, the other had gained after a messy divorce and I was the perpetual chubby one not wanting to be fat anymore. I am the only one who even remotely stuck to something. Which is a new leaf for me. Most of the time I am the first one to bale. The other 2 had family this and that. They would start again; fresh this time... eventually. One finally admitted that she was going to have a burger at the ball park while her kids played ball. Honestly, that part made me a little jealous. I do love a good burger. ;)

What I really want, isn't for some one to do a "diet" with me; but to get victory over this the right way. To have the weight off and stay off. To start adding things to my bucket list. Instead of feeling like I would never get it done because, of "who I am".

I am far enough up this mountain that I can't go back, and I am too close to the peak to stop. But, I can't camp out in the middle either. I've put work in today. And I know it will pay off. One day at a time.

Nothing major today, just thinking out loud.
Love the Brotherhood.
-BB


Diet Calendar Entries for 21 April 2015:
1818 kcal Fat: 75.75g | Prot: 105.52g | Carb: 189.26g.   Breakfast: Cottage Cheese (Nonfat), Dole Diced Peaches in 100% Fruit Juice. Lunch: Vlasic Dill Pickle Spears, Ranch Salad Dressing, Great Value Romaine Lettuce, Tuna in Water (Canned), Mayonnaise, Cucumber (with Peel), Colby Jack Cheese. Dinner: Silk Original Soy Milk, Peanut Butter and Banana Sandwich. Snacks/Other: Oroweat 100% Whole Wheat English Muffins, Vanilla Ice Creams, Kirkland Signature Dark Chocolate Covered Almonds, Honeycrisp Apples, Isagenix SlimCakes Oatmeal Berry. more...
3620 kcal Activities & Exercise: Walking (exercise) - 3.5/mph - 30 minutes, Resting - 15 hours and 30 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...

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Comments 
Great attitude! It is always about changing your lifestyle and not just "dieting." You can do this, it is absolutely your time! Good luck :) 
21 Apr 15 by member: michaelsgirl515
It's natural to question ourselves when we begin a program. It's hard. No doubt but it. Just look back and the weight you've already lost. That's pretty amazing. The longer you work the program the easier it gets and becomes a normal way of life for you.  
21 Apr 15 by member: ClassicRocker
You've got this!!! My doc told me tonight that when you own it, only then does it become important enough for you to handle it yourself!!! 
21 Apr 15 by member: Angiebaby627
The mental part is the biggest hurdle and it sounds like you are determined, you will succeed! You are motivated, take pictures along the journey to remind yourself how far you have come and remember "you can do all things through Christ who gives you strength." 
21 Apr 15 by member: Pamerla
You pave the road between where you are and where you want to be. Don't question yourself, don't question your motives, this is just creating doubt and putting up walls in your path. You'll do this. You'll do it one step at a time, and in complete control of your journey. 
21 Apr 15 by member: rob92183
Life has it's challenges and you are motivated to meet this one. It's a process, day by day you will fine tune your process. J 
21 Apr 15 by member: JovialJ
I totally understand where your coming from. my weight had me so depressed that I felt doomed. to be honest, I really didn't want to live anymore if this body was the one I was stuck with. I couldn't even stand to look in the mirror. the person looking back didn't even look like me! Having people on here giving me support has helped me to find the motivation I needed to get up off my butt and start doing something about it! .............THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE FOR ME! Remember.... WERE IN THIS TOGETHER! 
21 Apr 15 by member: julieallen1222
I have had and do have those same worries about my weight. It has been such a battle. I am needing a very serious and much needed surgery, but need to lose 20 lbs more before my surgeon will operate on me.  
21 Apr 15 by member: musicboxx
I understand your doubts AND feel your pain as I too must lose Weight before surgery (if u want maybe check my journal post JAN.27)...But far MORE IMPORTANTLY I "hear" the RESOLVE in Your post today...YAY You!!!! Keep on Keeping on BUDDY!!! 
22 Apr 15 by member: SuccessThisTime58
WOW! Can you hear the change in your perspective? You are in for the long, hard climb BB. You are going to enjoy this climb. This is all you in this moment. You are who you are now, but you are building the BB you want to be. Glad to be on this mountain side with you. You take care of the mental & the weight will be just a matter of time & math. This is no "diet." This is how BB now lives. Loved your thought about we are not "losing" weight the other day. We are casting it off. We are tossing it down the side of this mountain.  
22 Apr 15 by member: Jonathan Walsh
Awesome!  
22 Apr 15 by member: Anabolic_Lover
Yup - it will happen but patience is required, you will do it! 
22 Apr 15 by member: HCB
Go for it... don't let anything get in your way (even your thinking when your thoughts want to sabotage your plan!)!!!! 
22 Apr 15 by member: Sweetincense4iam
Such good news! You CAN do this if you really want it--and it sounds like you really want it this time. Good for you! 
22 Apr 15 by member: dreamingangel
i was the perpetual chubby girl in my circle... weighing in over 200 lbs from the time i was in highschool until a few years ago. it will come off :) 
22 Apr 15 by member: Naiomy
Your attitude is awesome!! I do the couch to 5K too and this is my 3rd time going back to it in the past couple of years because it's a great way to work up to a whole 5K and learn to pace yourself. This is a journey and it may take a while, so don't get discouraged if the weight doesn't just melt off, it takes so much more work to get it off than to put it on. Also, you're making healthy changes that will last your lifetime, so make changes that you know you can stick with. You can do this!! 
22 Apr 15 by member: mars2kids
Kind of in the same boat. Started out with a group trying to lose weight and am one of the only ones still working at it! You can do it. It sounds like you are doing great and have a great mind set about it.  
22 Apr 15 by member: amy30
i love love love your positive attitude!.... <3 
22 Apr 15 by member: victoriaegypt
Wow, good for you. While it is great to have folks who are close to you that are also trying to lose weight, ultimately, it is up to you to do this for yourself. I am so proud that you didn't let your friend's burger derail you. You are strong. You can be healthy and fit. You can do whatever you want if you set your mind to it and stay the course for the long haul. Sounds like you have a great attitude for this journey. :) 
22 Apr 15 by member: izzypup68
I'm one of those people who have experienced what you're going through. Ride that positive attitude all the way to success. Celebrate each step along the way, as you get stronger, your clothes are a little looser, you have to buy new clothes, someone tells you that you look great. Smile at your sweat; evidence of your hard work. Fatsecret, these people, have helped me immensely. I'm 5"3", and weighed 255 at one point. I've tried a lot of things, and have found lasting support and darn good success from being here. I'm so glad that you're here, too.  
22 Apr 15 by member: crabby Kat

     
 

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