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Something happened to me yesterday that I would have journaled about last night but to be honest it took me all day long to really work through what was going on and how I felt about it. Before I go on my long endless rant I need to thank FullaBella for motivating me to start the Love Yourself challenge. Without all the reading and idea searching for the challenge I'm not sure if I could have made it through yesterday without burying myself in easter candy and corned beef.
I take my little man to a daycare that my sister-in-law also uses. She is actually really good friends with the woman and was the one that recommended her to me. Well.. the other day when I posted the picture of my baby bump on here I also copied it over to facebook. I found out yesterday, thanks to the sitter, that the sister-in-law can't believe I was letting myself get so fat. My first reaction? Go home, hide under the sheets of my bed, cry my eyes out, and never come out. I didn't do this though.
My second reaction.. Why would anyone be happy someone else is gaining weight? Why would me getting bigger be such a hot topic? Now I know these women... I know the sister-in-law has some sort of silent competition with me that I don't buy into. It can be comparing the kids, our homes, our lives.. she has to see where she is better. She's also a woman who has always struggled with her weight and who I've always been smaller than especially after I lost the weight with little man and she didn't from her little girl. And the sitter? She likes to gossip and will agree to anything someone says to lend a gossip ear too. She's also always trying to get me to go on these crazy diets where you eat under 1,000 calories a day. Both of these women are tickled pink that I'm getting big. Granted I'm pregnant but I was the smaller one and now I'm going to be the huge one. Me getting big and them getting happy about it is just a reflection of their own insecurities. I don't have to make their comments my issue.
Then with the help of hubby I reminded myself of something. Sister-in-law will always be someone who is less than pleasant. His word for her was a little more harsh. BUT.. I'm more than either of these women will ever realize. I'm stronger, I'm more capable, and I may be bigger but I'm healthy, I eat right, I exercise and I won't always be this way. That and then he picked me up and twirled me around so I felt smaller. :)
Diet Calendar Entry for 18 March 2014:
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1770 kcal
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Fat: 88.31g | Prot: 89.01g | Carb: 149.64g.
Breakfast: Jimmy Dean Delights Turkey Sausage Muffin, Coffee (Brewed From Grounds) , Domino Sugar Sugar Packet, Cream (Half & Half) . Lunch: Smart Ones Smart Creations Chicken Parmesan. Dinner: Bongards Pepperjack Cheese, Johnsonville Original Bratwurst, Cheetos Cheese Puffs. Snacks/Other: Quaker Instant Oatmeal - Maple & Brown Sugar, Lindy's Homemade Watermelon Strawberry Italian Ice. more...
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 Comments
Don't feed into their negativity, it just gives them power over you and your choices. You're better than that!
18 Mar 14 by member: kari29
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Thanks to your posts, I've also started the Love Your Body Challenge (these women are AWESOME!!). I never would have found it without you.
And, in the spirit of that challenge - your body is Awesome - it can create a whole new life! That is the best thing a body could possibly do. No matter how much bigger you get than SIL - be proud of your body and what it can do!
Hope you have a great day!
18 Mar 14 by member: DarleneW101
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there's a lot of jerks out there.
just ignore them, they aren't worth your time.
18 Mar 14 by member: timconard
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I'm sorry that you SIL feels so threatened that she felt compelled to say petty, mean things. (It is hard to believe saying something like that to a third party can ever be intended to be encouraging or helpful.) I think when you are gaining weight it's harder to believe you are still beautiful, but it's still true. I am glad your husband was able to be empathetic and help you feel better. Hopefully SIL will overcome her insecurities, but in the meantime at least she is the IL and not the one you are married to. Take care! :)
18 Mar 14 by member: MrsTofu
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Wow, the babysitter is an SD (Sh-t Disturber) and is looking for ways to stir the pot. Ignore as much as possible as you are better than they are. Obviously your SIL has self esteem issues. Just remember, you are a strong, fearless woman and we are all proud of you!!!
18 Mar 14 by member: aggie95
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Thanks for starting this challenge. I really, really need it.
18 Mar 14 by member: MightyFull
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Peopel can be so cruel....don't let it get to you!!
18 Mar 14 by member: cmeyer11704
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Right, number one and most importantly, you are pregnant, which is going to make you put on weight and not just in the baby area. Its natural and you cant fight that (not that I am suggesting you are). But being pregnant also makes you sensitive, and so their comments are going to hit a big pulsating nerve. You must realise this and try to laugh it off, easier said than done, I know. But, in my experience, people like them are actually really not happy themselves. So, the best thing you can do, is be happy, have a healthy pregnancy, and once you have had your lovely baby, begin a sensible eating plan to keep you fit in both senses of the word, and finally you will beat them at their stupid games by getting slimmer, being happier and getting on with YOUR life while they wallow in their fad diets and poisonous thoughts.
I can relate to you because I had all that when I was having my children and I now realise that the biggest bitches were the ones who had the least happiness in their lives.
I suppose it would be nice to feel sorry for them, but I can't be arsed.....
Best wishes to you :)
18 Mar 14 by member: Rindaloo
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You are eating for two and growing another life. Eat healthy for you and your baby and drop kick the rest into the circular bin.
18 Mar 14 by member: jparlett
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Of course you are going to get bigger, you're pregnant. But, you're right, you are doing things the right way, you are eating healthier and exercising, so when you have your new bundle of joy your body will bounce back a lot faster. Then they'll be jealous all over again. You are a strong person and have a few toxic people in your life, and ignoring them and using their negativity to fuel your fire to eat right and exercise is much better than feeding into the gossip. I'm glad your hubby helped you feel better. :)
18 Mar 14 by member: mars2kids
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There are several books out there about Toxic People and how to deal with them...you should google that...very informative. I had a similar situation with an in-law and just distanced myself as much as I could and unfollowed her on FB. When I see her I don't say much and give her a smile that says "Really?" It boils down to distancing yourself from toxic people...people that don't make you feel good.
18 Mar 14 by member: Gogogone60
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Really? They can shove it! They will never be the woman you are. I'm so glad your hubby made you feel better - what goes on in your house is the only thing that counts. You Go Girl!
18 Mar 14 by member: Lynn1958
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My mom's favorite response to these kind of people is, "I can lose the weight, but you'll always be ugly!" Lol I don't suggest saying that out loud to the woman, but the smirk on your face while you're thinking it (As loudly as possible) will infuriate them.
Keep your head held high. You are building a beautiful little baby. Your body is just perfect for him/her, and that's all that matters right now.
18 Mar 14 by member: Eden6
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You're husband is cool!!! Knows how to make you feel better!!
18 Mar 14 by member: Rubie-sue
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I love that your husband did that! I think we would all love to pick you up and twirl you around right now! Good for you and keep loving you too! Send blessings to your SIL and the sitter. If you do it will take away YOUR toxic feelings - just keep sending them love and you will benefit.
18 Mar 14 by member: Neptunebch
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Sadly, some people have to tear others down to build themselves up. You are a strong woman.
18 Mar 14 by member: tunalw
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Awww I think your DH is a keeper...:O)
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Sweet! Your DH! To he double toothpicks with them. People can be kind and mean. You ARE beautiful!
20 Mar 14 by member: madaboutmoose
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My future SIL is the same way, dont listen to their insecure ramblings
You are not letting yourself get fat you are pregnant with a human being!! What are you supposed to do, girdle it in?? These woman are ridiculous!! I think you look very slender and the baby bump is sooo beautiful. Why dont you whip up a delicious dessert and gift it to them. They can go get #&$^@.
20 Mar 14 by member: Annabelle3117
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