adefwebserver's Journal, 30 October 2018

Day 2 of a planned 5 day ‘no solid food’ fast
Blood sugar 90 mg/dL

As a person who has been obese all my adult life (until recently), I now wonder, what is 'different this time'?

🧘🏾‍♂️ Motivation 🧘🏾‍♂️

My greatest 'motivator' is --fear--. I have a lot of fears but there is always the ‘greatest fear’. The greatest fear is always damage to my ‘ego’ (the way I see myself in the world).

When it comes to my eating, my current 'greatest fear' is never having the body I dreamed of at 50. So far this is working, Great! right?

Not so fast...

There is a ‘greater fear’ like:

🌟 Being hungry

Yeah that one is the biggest fear and it comes back every time I eat. It is illogical but, there we go. When I am not eating, and can be objective, my "never having the body I want" fear can return to prominence and 'motivate me'. But, 'fear' is a double-edge sword and can motivate me to 'binge' because my mind illogically feels that it must become 'full' or this opportunity to do so will pass and I will have to feel 'empty' (oh the horror!)

The worst decisions I have ever made in my life can be traced back to a 'fear'. Therefore, I do believe that 'fear' needs to be transcended by a higher faith in principals. I strive toward this, but, of course slip back into 'motivation by fear' all the time. So, it appears the best I can do is 'minimize' fear as a motivator.

😎 Life is Good! Have a great day everyone!
171.0 lb Lost so far: 36.0 lb.    Still to go: 7.0 lb.    Diet followed reasonably well.

Diet Calendar Entries for 30 October 2018:
900 kcal Fat: 35.00g | Prot: 120.00g | Carb: 15.00g.   Breakfast: Land O'Lakes Heavy Whipping Cream, Quest Vanilla Milkshake Protein Powder. Dinner: Land O'Lakes Heavy Whipping Cream, Quest Vanilla Milkshake Protein Powder. Snacks/Other: Land O'Lakes Heavy Whipping Cream, Quest Vanilla Milkshake Protein Powder, Quest Vanilla Milkshake Protein Powder. more...
2195 kcal Activities & Exercise: Weight Training (moderate) - 45 minutes, Resting - 15 hours and 15 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
steady weight

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Comments 
good insight into yourself.  
30 Oct 18 by member: baskington
I have the same, I can identify. I get so scared of hunger x 
30 Oct 18 by member: Missy motivated
Very good insights, adef! I too am motivated by fear and have made some poor life decisions based on my fears. I definitely feel a sense of it's now or never with the body and mind transformation. 
30 Oct 18 by member: jengetfit123
I have a couple of fears that give me trouble on this front, too. Good luck with it! 
30 Oct 18 by member: TomLong
But this is the time of year for fear...at least tomorrow night is :) As long as you don't let fear stop you in moving forward you'll be fine - and I see no stopping you ahead!! 
30 Oct 18 by member: nikeit
I know that when we want something we are going to do it no matter what other people say, because we are like that haha So, I was thinking, as you love fasting and it's the only thing that works for you, why don't you try the real fasting (0 calories) maybe that helps you to get faster results?? 
30 Oct 18 by member: Keilin_4
Ditto @Keilin_4 -- Yeah buddy, I think it's time for you to rip off the band aid and step up your fasting game (This doesn't discount your incredible results you have had and will continue to have with fasting) It is a mental thing and you are a winner and you kick butt. I know you secretly desire it but it appears that 0 calories is a fear you have else you would have done it. High Five! 
30 Oct 18 by member: chesgreen
oh, oh, a challenge now! I do see calories rotation in your future if this is a challenge you take up. 
30 Oct 18 by member: baskington
I want to fast more than 24 hours but I am bad at it, we know that you have experience with that 😏. I tried the IF DR Fasting and it's was easier than water fasting for me, at the 24 hours SDF i was not starving, the problem is that I can't live without coffee . But I still want to go over 24 hours, at least once in my life 😐 
30 Oct 18 by member: Keilin_4
@Keilin_4, @chesgreen - My number one reason is that I need carbs and calories to lift heavy. I can lift weights fasted, but I can't lift 'heavy. I dropped all the way down to 163lbs in August but I looked 'horrible' :) So, I MUST list 3 times a week. Now, I am willing to give up 'bulking' until I get lower, but, I MUST lift heavy constantly. Just doing that one thing (lifting heavy three times a week) has completely transformed by body. So, yeah I have to keep consuming 900+ calories a day. 
30 Oct 18 by member: adefwebserver
It's true, you have less energy to exercise without food.  
30 Oct 18 by member: Keilin_4
I only fast when I don't lift.. I make sure my eating window is when I lift, or just extend it to fit. I'm at 17.5 hrs right now. I've only had black coffee and one packet of truvia (which I haven't usually added until recently when I'm over 16 hrs). It's a lot easier than you think it would be since sleeping counts towards the fast. I ALWAYS have a high protein meal first, as I have read breaking fasts you don't want to load up on carbs or much fat. If I need to it's a protein shake. It's working for me so far... Or since you do mostly low carb, the CKD you probably have heard of is keto most of the week except carbs peri-workout. Just a couple options in case they sound good 😉 
30 Oct 18 by member: Cb1006
@Cb1006 - Thanks! 
30 Oct 18 by member: adefwebserver
@Keilin_4, @chesgreen - One more really important point I just thought of... ** When I no solid food fast for 5 days - - that is 5 days I am not 'binging' ** :) :) The downside is that I am fasting 5 out of 7 days a week. You just can't 'water fast' that much :) 
30 Oct 18 by member: adefwebserver
I know, and I can not fast that long because food is good 😐, whatever you decide to do I wish you good luck. 😀🙏 
30 Oct 18 by member: Keilin_4
People do those water fasts for days or weeks... I don't know how, but they do 🤨  
30 Oct 18 by member: Cb1006
I've had great success with IF! I feel better than I have in years! although it's different than the fasts you do, you were my main reason for trying it out.  
30 Oct 18 by member: SunnieSunny
I fear laser raptors. I seen them in a cartoon when I was a kid and can't shake it. basically velociraptor's that shoot lasers out their eyes. I don't think it's an irrational fear though. just imagine the damage one of those bad boys could do. 
30 Oct 18 by member: keith george cooke
Fear has definitely lead me to make rash decision and procraste. Fear of going in the wrong direction, really. It’s important to realized those types of things (Virgo virtue 👍). Helps us correct problems and improve our lives. I binge to pacify myself. Like a drug. I hate being full though. Can’t keep eating when you are too full. Thank god I can’t stand throwing up, or I’d have a much bigger problem than being fat...  
30 Oct 18 by member: CrashtestDawnie
I lost the weight for 1 reason. When being chased by a predator (like a laser raptors... Just saying) you don't have to be the fastest, just don't want to be the slowest! I figured that dropping some weight would let me outrun someone else, so it really was fear of being eaten alive by a fictional cartoon dinosaur that sparked a change in me. I never thought of it like this but it's so clear now. Thankyou biker mice from Mars!!! 
30 Oct 18 by member: keith george cooke

     
 

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