billtech66's Journal, 11 August 2016

Thank you for sharing with us. I am warmed by your ability to reassure yourself of being deserving. You remind me of the power of our life experiences, and the work it takes to heal. I am saddened that your father did not give himself the gift of coming to know his own child's strength and courage. Take care of you....j 

Your journal post today really touched me. I recently read a weight loss book where after trying multiple diets over the years, the author finally got in touch with her inner child and was able to heal and find success. The book's author is listed with the name of the woman and the name she gave to her inner child. When I was growing up (and also had a bad childhood), like many children, I had an imaginary friend. I also had imaginary pets. Back in the 90s while taking a creative writing class, I wrote a story about going in search of my inner child and dredging up my imaginary friend Helen from childhood. I reread my story after reading the book I just mentioned. I've come to the conclusion that my imaginary friend and inner child are one and the same. And with this new-found knowledge, I am finally starting to take better care of myself. 

My hope in sharing was to pass on the Possibility of healing, since I'm aware I'm not alone. Not alone with wounds that are so deep, that affect our lives every day, every single day. Others may not have had the same experience myself and siblings did, but even seemingly small slights, when a child, can cause wounds just as deep, the rest of our lives. Thank you JJ & Pho for your responses, support and for reading my journal. :) 

You're so right, Bill. I've also done a lot of inner child work, although I grew up in a "Leave it to Beaver" family. Having a mother who competed with her daughters for attention left scars. 

Yes, you are a worthwhile person who deserves love and care every day. 

That's heart wrenching on a lot of levels, good vibes your way.  

Life can be so bloody damaging. My heart goes out to you, your father and your whole family! Good for you for making progress processing the damage. You set a good example, because many of us carry scarred over, but unhealed wounds. Peace be with you! 

Thanks for sharing.  

I've been reading your posts for awhile, and from I've read,I know in my heart that you are a good and deserving person. I wish for you to know it in your heart also. If you abuse yourself, you replace your father. It takes time, work and insight - but we don't have to live our legacy. Take care, because as I said, I know you are a good person, so be good to yourself first.  

thank you all, for thoughtful and caring responses. :) It's interesting that we can know something in our thinking head, knowing it... but when the unseen subconscious, that forgets nothing, flashes overwhelming feelings out to us, triggered by unconscious memories... it's very difficult to deal with, and the Knowledge in our head means nothing. :) 

So, I hear what you are saying, and perhaps my unconscious is hearing it as well. :)  

Healing takes time as you well know....God loves you dearly...He doesn't make junk! You are a most precious child of our dear heavenly Father....God bless.