FullaBella's Journal, 17 December 2013

Tuesday - December 17th and up early again with leg cramps and night sweats. Let's hear it for old age, shall we? All together now. Waaaah.

Remember that Snoopy clip 'No ....Dogs..... Allowed' from Peanuts? Yesterday morning Mushy and I walked around town to do a couple of errands. She was so happy bouncing along soaking up the sunshine and all the 'awwws' of people we passed. Until we walked into the Post Office. The clerk barked at us (haha, barked) 'is that a service dog?' and told us to GET OUT. Well! Harumph! I was shocked to find a person immune to her precious face and charm. We went to City Hall and got the paperwork for having her certified as a companion dog; I'll work on that today.

And the universe rewarded me for not going postal in the post office (and insisting they sell me stamps before I left).
Digging through that chaos I call a desk to find enough stamps to get the cards out I found an envelope with a thousand dollars in cash in it. I probably put it there probably three or four years ago and totally forgot about it. I do so love found money.

Decent sales in the shop yesterday and one of my customer's brought me boxes of Starbucks latte pods and chai tea pods. They really don't work that well in my Vue but it was so touching nonetheless. My homemade Chicken Tortellini soup was simmering on the stove so I dipped a large bowl of it and a sleeve of crackers for him to take home and share with his partner. Such a nice man and I smiled when he promised, "I will bring your bowl back' without me asking.

The BBB finally came in and although I picked out those linens online they are perfect. Soft and I can't accurately describe but they are almost a shimmering dark green and golden mix and really accent the warm copper and gold comforter set. Gee, you'd think I could stay in bed longer with all that, huh?

To clarify the Blondie thing from my Sunday journal - she wasn't 'not eating' as related to diets and weight loss, she was 'not eating' as related to being a brat and trying to get her way about me going to the concert.

I did go. Earlier in the day I sent her a warning email that read, "If he pulls one stunt, I'm out of there. I'm coming to hear him play an instrument not watch him play the fool." He behaved there but not without his usual drama of 'I have to be there at a certain time and that being the wrong time and several trips.' Like, he said the concert started at 7:30; it started at 7:00. Last minute stuff like that. Sigh.

The best thing I can say about being stuffed in an over crowded auditorium of folks all holding up smart phones and Ipads to film the event rather than enjoy it live with their own eyes and ears was 'thank goodness the songs were an average 3-5 minutes each.'

Blondie, so insistent I be there to see my grandson in concert seemed to miss the point of a concert - to HEAR it. She never SHUT up. And she kept 'criticizing' my behavior. I wasn't behaving enthusiastically enough. I missed applauding a few times. She'd look at the stage and then at me - critiquing my reaction.

I hate crowds. I hate being confined in tight spaces with people wearing too much cologne or perfume and sniffling, sneezing and coughing. I hate trying to see the stage over the sea of electronic recording devices. And I hate trying to listen to music over her babbling.

The other thing I realized about Sunday, having now had three meals with them in three weeks - there is ALWAYS one of them who has to be 'the I'm not feeling well, everyone pay attention to me' at the meal. Typically it's the youngest grandson - he held center court the first two meals including Thanksgiving. Sunday was her turn. Someone's always 'not feeling well, wah wah baby me' instead of coming together and just dining. So that was what was nagging me subliminally as I could hear the echo's of all the Matriarchs who'd filled my seat before me, "Can't we just have ONE nice dinner?" So that is likely just 'what it's like to have family around' and I'd forgotten it as Cutty and I were secluded and isolated so many years.

But these recent attempts to assume the role her Father held and control me - it ends now. I made it out of that auditorium calmly but once I returned home I walked around my home ranting out loud for an hour preparing my 'lecture for her' that includes the summation of 'bite me and back the heck off, Blondie...' I think I even broke my own record for using the "F" word in a single sentence. The echo of her manipulative comment and condescending tone, 'You're now free to catch up on all of these events of your grandson's you missed' ... well, I've already confessed I'm not running for "nana of the year". I lack that gene.

So how'd I do with eating and all those emotions? Minimal consumption during the day. Some celery and peanut butter and a cup of soup. So I had a filet mignon and two eggs for dinner after I got my 'rant out'. An hour, pint of water, and cup of hot lemon water later I was still feeling hungry wanting 'something' so I had a serving of oatmeal and that hit the spot. That's been two nights in a row. I think for dinner tonight I'll just do that instead of anything else. It seems to be the 'meal' that's filling all of my voids in one stop eating.

Thank you for visiting with me. I wish you all a wonderful Tuesday.



Good for you Bella!!!! Don't let that Blondie feel that she needs to keep you line and "teach" you proper behaviour. How arrogant of her. Grrrr.... My hubby and I don't interact w/a lot of famlies with kids either. We fent to find ourselves also muttering "Can't we just have a nice dinner". So you are not alone in that!!  
17 Dec 13 by member: Rubie-sue
I love the idea of having Mushy deemed a companion animal. Maybe they would have kicked you out of the concert if you had shown up with Mushy last night? Worth a try. I believe I would be direct with the grandson when he asks for your attendance at his events as Blondie doesn't strike me as one who will reinforce that he must behave appropriately if he wishes for guests to attend.  
17 Dec 13 by member: 2ManyCurves
Bella, You did good!. I rant and rave by myself sometimes. Then I'm always too busy or have other plans when asked to attend an event with 'certain' people. Blondie may have to become your 'certain' people.... Wasn't it Maye West that said.."I just vant to be alone"? Maybe not her, but.. That is such stress...Stress is not good. My sister does it to me. She knows how to push my buttons. ... Yay! for companion dogs. When I worked at a kitchen store a couple came in with their little pug and said she was a working dog that could tell when the lady's sugar wasn't right.....I didn't believe them, but so what. You don't call customers liars.... We do what we have to.... Hang in there. ... Luv ya... donna... I found a $50 bill in a book one time....  
17 Dec 13 by member: dboza
The fact that Blondie is still breathing shows saintly restraint on your part. A very blunt lecture is definitely required to set the record straight so you don't have to endure that kind of ridiculous behavior again. That would be so cool if you could get Mushy special companion dog status and go back to the post office (hopefully when the same employee is there who banished you before) and triumphantly show them your "papers". Family has its perks and its downside. Depending on the family members, sometimes the downside outweighs the perks. I have to admit the my life has been so much less dramatic since we moved away from our families. You tend to gloss over the bad stuff in retrospect and remember only the good stuff so it's easy to think you're missing something. But I think perhaps not. Anyway, since you are re-entering the family arena for the first time in a very long while, I think it's smart to set some ground rules. Just because they're "family" doesn't give them the right to run roughshod over you. And, for the record, I can't stand how everybody spends an entire performance with their phones and tablets up in the air, either. The new generations to come are really going to miss out on the simple pleasures of life because they are so plugged in all the time. Makes me sad just to think about it! 
17 Dec 13 by member: evelyn64
Dogs can be trained to tell when a diabetics sugar is low and even to tell when an epililetic siezure is coming on (wish this thing had spell checker). They are amazing animals. That clerk must have been a cat person, I don't know how you can't love a cute, well behaved dog.  
17 Dec 13 by member: fatoldlady
Does your dog sleep with you? I wake up sweaty a lot because my little cat is like a portable furnace and roasts me at night. The homemade Chicken Tortellini soup sounds AMAZING. Hope you have a happy and productive Tuesday :) 
17 Dec 13 by member: waynem37
Hi Bella, I'm glad to hear your doing well with some "new" found money! Family stuff can at times be challenging, but I'm sure your grandson was happy to have your support especially as he probably knows it's not your scene. This was about him and not Blondie. Take it easy girl!  
17 Dec 13 by member: Josie Ann
Way to go on the found envelope! - treat yourself! Family stuff - uughh - Thank God you can choose your friends! Hope you have a great day - Cheers 
17 Dec 13 by member: Lynn1958
I can't imagine finding a thousand dollars in an envelope anywhere in my house. We shoot the wad, and save nothing. LOL! I agree with Josie Ann. Going to the concert was for your grand-son. Your grand-son had to be glad you came. Blondie is trying to mold you into the grandparent that Cutty never was and she sounds as controlling as he was. It is good that she wants you to be involved in their lives. She does need to back off. You need space to sort out your grief still. Do take some time to think things through. You have a lot of pent up emotions since Cutty passed away and you might be zinging them at her, when it's not Blondie that is the real reason for all your anger.  
17 Dec 13 by member: Mom2Boxers
Hope you can get Mushy certified as a companion dog - I'm envious about your soup, it sounds delicious! So nice of you to share... Good job not punching Blondie, but she needs to back off and shut up. And that's AWESOME about your found money!! When I first saw someone else's comment about your found money, I was thinking it would be like $50 or something.. but a THOUSAND!?? Incredible - enjoy!! :) 
17 Dec 13 by member: erika2633
You're a better nana, Angel, than you give yourself credit for! Kudos to you for staying connected to such a dysfunctional group at all. And for not eating over it. I had oatmeal again, but for breakfast, for the first time today in a long time. It is delicious! There's something about cold weather, having a cold (really a sinus infection) & eating hot oatmeal. Glad you got your new, luxury sheets -- hope it's sweet dreams in them tonight! Xoxox 
17 Dec 13 by member: Ruhu
Hey sweetie...so glad you will be able to take Mushy with you most places...you need her and she needs you...So glad you found that money..it should come in handy...I wouldn't worry about the grandson..he will come around one day...Blondie needs to leave you alone..after all you have gotten along for quite awhile with out her advice...Hope you had a good day today...:O)  
17 Dec 13 by member: BHA
I can relate to your sleeping issues. Some nights are great but others (like last night) are terrible. Hot, wide awake, thinking about weight loss, family and finances when I should be enjoying zzzzz in my very soft beautiful bedding instead. :) Evelyn reminded me that I have been away from my family for a long time and the one Christmas we did get together was weird for several members. A lot of pent up issues for my son and my niece and nephew because of my father's death and who was given his purple heart. Then everything came out for all of them for years of issues. They were too polite to say anything at the time except for a few digs but boy did I hear it from my son later. I wonder if some family counseling might help them deal with whatever it is that is bothering them. 
18 Dec 13 by member: Neptunebch
Bella I'm sorry I haven't been dropping any words of love or wisdom around you lately. I'm a bit 'done' as I am sure you know but I still care; I still think about you, all the time; Much love lady :) 
18 Dec 13 by member: sarahsmum


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