FullaBella
Joined October 2012
Posts
737
Following
101
Followers
121
Weight History

Start Weight
285.0 lb
Lost so far: 20.0 lb

Current Weight
305.0 lb
Performance: gaining 0.8 lb a week

Goal Weight
180.0 lb
Still to go: 125.0 lb
March 2017 and I'm back after a two year absence from Fat Secret. However, I have not returned here with a weight specific goal as much as over all mental, physical and emotional improvement goal. I've been obese ever since I was ten years old due to reasons that have stayed with me despite my best intentions. I've lost 100+lbs five times in my life, each time with the claim 'never again' only to find myself back at square one within a year of the loss. One thing I did realize was 'thin' wasn't the be all and end all of overall self love and acceptance. Most of the time I was miserable despite the outward compliment induced happiness but things seemed to happen that threatened me at that point and I would start eating emotionally once again because I just never healed everything else behind the disorder. Now I find myself with some health issues partially due to the obesity (blood sugar, blood pressure etc) but also some very scary depression. Probably just middle aged blues although based on history and genetics I'll be lucky to see mid 70's. The issues behind the disorder are still here. I need to find a better way. So this journal will be to explore the garbage in my head and try to finally lose some of the more harmful thoughts and self destructive behavior. When I first returned I closed off my journals to explore my thoughts but my buddies asked me to share. So share it is. If you read my journals and wonder about the absence of recorded food or weight hopefully you wandered over here to my bio and found the answer. Some say I inspire; some don't. I'm just me and your welcome to share your thoughts anytime.

FullaBella's Weight History


FullaBella's Latest Member Challenges

81
  Binge be gone!!!
status: Completed
ended: 27 Oct 14
view progress
 
  
91
  No Excuses Fitness Challenge - 75 in 31
status: Completed
ended: 05 Aug 14
view progress
 


Following

kclab
last weighin: steady Steady
 
D2jasper
last weighin: gaining 1.0 lb a week Up
RiverRes
only visible to followers
 
Becca P
last weighin: steady Steady



FullaBella's Latest Posts

how has this journey affected you life besides weight loss?
MANY changes ALL OVER this journey of weight loss. Physical of course - ability to stand longer and walk farther without heavy breathing and pain as well as more natural ambition to be physical; first time in my life I ever had the nerve to try go-cart racing or any other 'size confined' type activity. Emotionally I've worked on the eating disorder for more than the weight loss as I sought a more positive outlook and forgiving approach. People around me have noticed more than the size differences; they've commented on my overall changes. As I've recently REGAINED some of the weight loss, I can tell the difference physically - more pain when standing a longer time. This site has been very important to me as well; showing up here reminds me of why I began this endeavor and how vital it is to my overall health.
posted 18 Dec 2014, 10:29
Sharing for Comments and Thoughts
I would love to see this same video but with the person feeding them waving a carrot stick or a stalk of celery... see how the baby would react then...
posted 28 Aug 2014, 10:50
Sharing for Comments and Thoughts
You're not hijacking Mummy; it's fine. The one's encouraging Mom to have a Marlboro were intriguing. My how some times have changed; but others haven't.
posted 28 Aug 2014, 02:07
Sharing for Comments and Thoughts
I know.. I was conflicted this morning when I saw it.. my first reaction was 'great... let's create disordered eating young in life by making the kid want the sugar/dessert more than their actual 'food'.

But then thought about it thru the day. On the one hand.. how many babies have we fed making the propeller sound while saying 'open up the hanger.. here comes the plane' or 'choo choo'...

I'm wondering if the kid actually recognizes candy or just 'look.. it's red.. something different. I know I didn't like that stuff on the spoon.. what's this brown shaped thing in their fingers? After all.. I eat with my fingers.. '

I guess it's like anything else.. we all watch the same video and attach different conclusions and our own emotions.
posted 27 Aug 2014, 21:25
Sharing for Comments and Thoughts
posted 27 Aug 2014, 10:20
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FullaBella's journal

31 May 2017

Wednesday - May 31 Another month gone. Struggling with the depression a lot - esp Monday - long lonely holiday. Our 'song' came on and I started crying ...

26 May 2017

Friday - May 26th Not hungry in the morning this week; or rather, grabbing a single banana with the DE/Bpc is preventing hunger so I've been off the ...

FullaBella's Recent Food & Exercise


FullaBella's Groups

Morbid Obesity Buddies
Welcome to "THE MOB". This group is for people who are Morbidly Obese who need support from other people who get it!

Silver Foxes
This is for fun. Silver Fox was a fun challenge but anyone is welcome. Geared for women.

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kclab recorded a Weight Entry at 176.0 lb.
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etheriau_test2 recorded a Weight Entry at 155.3 lb.
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malik irfanwaheed recorded a Weight Entry at 132.0 lb.
ephemeralwish recorded a Weight Entry at 179.6 lb.