Start Weight:(25 Aug 12) 285.0 lb
Current Weight:(16 Apr 14) 180.0 lb
Goal Weight:180.0 lb
following: Make Peace with Myself
performance: Steady

Having battled weight issues my whole life I can say I am GREAT at losing weight. But I am horrible at keeping it off.

This will be my fifth attempt to lose a massive amount of weight and keep it off. The first was 50lbs when I was 13; 80lbs in my 20's; 100+ in my 30's (seeing a pattern here?) and 100+ lbs in my 40's.

All of these losses had the same common denominators: 1) too fast 2) starvation 3) appetite suppressants 4) binge & purge and 5) the weight came back when I couldn't deprive myself anymore or forgot my 'never again' announcement because 6) I had not fixed the problem (eating disorder) just the symptom (weight).

This time, I'm taking it slow on purpose. I'm eating more but better. I may only lose a couple of pounds a month as I use this time to take care of the emotional drama that has accompanied the weight regain in the past.

I'm older and should be smarter. I need to prove it and settle this for the last time. I am going to heal my body as I heal my life.

A few of my favorite daily mantras:

I'm not losing weight. I'm converting Fat to Muscle to be healthier.
When I am hungry, I will eat what I love. When I am bored, I will do something I love. When I am lonely, I will call someone I love. When I am sad, I will remember I am loved.
Food IS my friend I just have to choose my friends wisely.
I can HAVE any food I WANT but I find the longer I eat HEALTHY I only WANT healthy foods.
If *I* can do this, ANYONE can. It takes 21 days to form a new habit. One day, one bite at a time.
My entire life is an All You Can Eat Buffet. What will I choose today?
Just because a little is good for you doesn't mean a whole lot more is better.

FatSecret member since: 17 Oct 12

FullaBella's Weight History

FullaBella's Latest Member Challenges

  Sleep 7-8 hours a day
status: In Progress
currently: Week 3 of 4
end date: Monday 28 Apr 14
view progress
  Meditate for Stress Reduction
status: Completed
ended: 24 Mar 14
view progress

FullaBella's Buddies

Online now DairyFarmersWife
last weighin: gaining 0.9 lb a week Up
Online now northernmusician
last weighin: gaining 1.6 lb a week Up
Online now sarahsmum
buddies only
Online now PepperMill
last weighin: losing 3.0 lb a week Down

FullaBella's Latest Posts

Before and After, anyone?
All of you are all so awesome!
posted 17 Apr 2014, 20:43
Before and After, anyone?
How many calories do standing ovations burn? Cause I just gave all of y'all one! Woot!!!
posted 17 Apr 2014, 14:50
Is It Just Me? Is My Idea of "Fat" Distorted Due To The Generation I Was Born Into?
Nodding as I read this post and something sparked with a connection. I have been most frustrated watching my grandson's in sports the past few years - they are both healthy weight - maybe even a little underweight as they are 6"+ and only 14 & 16 - but all of their class / teammates just appear devoid any 'hustle'. It's all I can do sometimes to not stand up and yell 'stop the lollygagging!' because that's sure what our gym coach would have yelled at us when I was in high school.

So I've been thinking it was from generations eliminating the ability to 'yell' at the kids in school as well as the fear of corporal punishment that 'my generation' lived with and it was just a softening.

Now it occurs to me that those coaches are about the same age as the kids parents and maybe it's not emotional softening as much as physical energy depletion due the super sizing of low nutritional foods now cycling into a second soon to be third generation.

I know - energy creates energy but the kids may be lacking in fuel from the get-go esp as schools intervene with their mandated low cal lunches and more.

My two cents... thanks.
posted 15 Apr 2014, 10:33
mummydee wrote:
and Bella are you a closet Alchemist?Shock If you can divulge the secret I'd be willing to pay! Wink

LOL - Mummy - sorry I missed this esp with an opportunity to make money. Hey - maybe that's it - I'll start a website 'weight alchemy' and attach a paypal or something.

No - just kidding - no way - I believe in giving back... as much as FS has given me. I changed my signature when I realized the scale was showing the same 5lbs up and down for several months. A friend of mine talked me back from the ledge by explaining this is the part of my 'journey' where my body is converting fat to muscle. I have to continue eating right, not cutting my calories too much or risk losing muscle, and just be patient while I continue to convert fat to muscle.

Even though I'm up 5lbs from one of my low weighs, I'm a size smaller. At this phase, I won't have huge drops on the scale unless I greatly reduce my intake. Even increasing my activity at my current intake will show another uptick for a while and that'll be ok (as I am increasing activity) as long as other measures stay the same or decrease - the way my jeans feel, the bracelet on my arm, the way my belt latches. And just overall body appearance.

I've had many people say 'you've lost so much weight since I saw you last summer' and I'll think 'seriously, I gained 5lbs.' Hence, the scale, while a good measure, can't be the ONLY measure. Or you'll end up typing ridiculously long answers to rhetorical questions like me, LOL.

posted 13 Apr 2014, 15:44
ClassicRocker wrote:
Excellent signature Bella. You go girl!!!

Thanks Kathy - I am still working on it - faking til I make it - but looking at myself as more than that @#$#$# no good %$#$%$ crazy idiot @#$%^$# SCALE. LOL
posted 04 Apr 2014, 06:55
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FullaBella's journal

17 April 2014

Thursday, right? I feel like that cartoon that reads 'I would have enjoyed Spring more if I'd known it only lasted 3 days'. I woke this morning to ...

16 April 2014

Wednesday Morning - April 16th. This weekend was warm enough for shorts but I’ve been back in turtlenecks since Monday. That’s okay though. If I were ...
on diet Make Peace with Myself  steady weight

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