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31 May 2017

26 May 2017

Friday - May 26th

Not hungry in the morning this week; or rather, grabbing a single banana with the DE/Bpc is preventing hunger so I've been off the veggie juice. So I was concerned with missing the chia & flax seed plus the superfood so I thought I'd add that to the BPC. FAIL. Big time FAil. Do not try this at home.

I've been randomly trying whatever home remedy snake oil thing I could find lately. I'm very concerned with the swelling/abdominal pain and over a week now with the DE hasn't shown any change. As the docs can't find anything I guess I'll just have 'I told you so' engraved on cards and mailed after I die.

Nonetheless, the limit to which I'll try things was reached yesterday when I saw one story for wrapping the head, hands and feet in tin foil and another suggested cabbage in the bra. Color me cynical but I've concluded some evil person somewhere is composing this stuff with a maniacal laugh imagining hordes of us desperate people trying these tricks.

I'm bored but at least I got about five hours sleep last night. Not all in a row and I'm still at a deficit since staying up all night Wednesday. My fault. I want oxygen pumped into my home the way they do at Casino's.
I can stay up all night there and it never phase me. Until I leave that is - so I guess the answer is to never leave.

That's all.

24 May 2017

Wednesday - May 24th

DE/BPC this morning; the only thing I realized last night was my right heel wasn't aching as much as it normally does. On the other hand, I'm having horrid leg / foot cramps; probably dehydration... the recommendation is double water intake with the DE and I have not done so. Taking long drink of water right now.

Peanut butter with banana and graham crackers for lunch.

I've put a hold on the delivered meal boxes; I gave away everything cooked from previous boxes and put everything I cooked from the most recent delivery into food saver bags for the freezer last night.

Right now, just not craving meat so no need to have those shipped. I'm happier with a salad of squash, tomato, onion and cucumber. It's not just the boxes; I made my long time favorite chicken vegetable tortellini soup the other night; even that is now in the freezer.

I always feel I'm the last to know but will share nonetheless: You can freeze lemons. Then grate or nutri-bullet them into a fine powder and return to the freezer until needed.

I often wake at night very dry mouthed; grabbing a tablespoon of this cools and hydrates better than 20oz of water will; I still drink the water but you get the point. Plus I try to drink hot lemon water every morning - it's reported to cure everything but bad credit - so this makes it convenient as well.

That's all.

23 May 2017

Tuesday - May 23

Still enjoying the DE in my BPC despite absence of any noticeable results. I’m a little disappointed; I was expecting weird poop, LOL, but it’s the same ole stuff. Some say it lowers blood pressure and cures hypothyroidism; maybe that’s what’ll improve. I hated the realization of ‘what if there truly isn’t anything wrong with me hence the absence of results’ the other day. But then I touched my side and screamed ‘ouch’ so I know it’s not all in my head.

Yoga brought by burgers and fries for lunch - interesting. But it was a good thing as she’s done three dine & dash’s with me recently and I was reaching a fed-up position with her without the food (haha - fed up) I did give a few seconds to the thought that she brought burgers when it’s obvious I’m trying to eat healthier. And she said, “I know you’ve been eating healthy but this was all available today”.... Hmmm.. Food for thought. Oops, there I go again.

I’m really sleepy. Probably the burgers.

That’s about it for ATF. As for non-ATF I decided to take a leap and asked Stick out to dinner Saturday. He moved the venue then paid; oh well. I don’t see a romance with him… and I was so nervous waiting for him to arrive I started crying and got a little sick. Nice way to start a non-date, huh. I managed to get myself together though so I wasn’t crying when he got here. We had Mexican food and talked about our dogs. But he held doors so that was nice.

Sunday I went to a couple of casinos with Ms. B; actually had a good winning night. First in a long while. I seriously want to go back tonite but it’s a three hour drive. I may take a slight nap after I close and see if the motivation is still there. I don’t usually start getting lucky until 11ish anyway. I’ll probably get a hotel room this time though. We didn’t get home until 6am yesterday so I was a complete drag butt all day.

That’s all.

19 May 2017

TGIF - May 19th and I’m experiencing the hot flash from hhhhhhelllll…...yikes. The AC is on 68 and I have two fans pointed at me and despite a cold rinse shower and a couple of sink baths I’m still coated in sweat. Dang.

DE taken last night in juice - no noticeable effects yet unless this sweating counts. As quantity consumed didn’t seem to be an issue I added ¼ cup to my BPC this morning. Results: thicker, kind of like hot chocolate. Not noticeable otherwise.

Vegetable juice this morning: broccoli, cabbage, carrots and pineapple with the knick-knacks. It’s actually good. Wow...did I say that??

I’m so sleepy I’ve nodded off twice just journaling this so far. Mushy got me up every two hours. Grrrr. Cranking up the Rolling Stones...may dance a bit. Need energy.

ATF: ham sandwich for dinner. I’m glad the meal delivery is on hold. I have three meals to cook; will likely freeze them when finished.

Had an opportunity yesterday to refresh my mindfulness skills. I was at the grocery store and this one guy had TEN kids with him - ALL shrieking and crying and racing the aisles and creating a ruckus. At first I tried to positive attitude myself with ‘at least it’s just a little while at the store… that Guy has to go home with ‘em!’

But eventually that failed to save me and I heard myself yell out ‘good grief!! I’m two aisles away and I can’t concentrate!!’ That’s when I virtually jerked myself up by the shoulders and started taking a mental and emotional inventory followed by making up showtunes (low and only I could hear) about the shopping.

With that, the tightness in my shoulders released and I no longer focused on the shriekers. I was able to choose my mood.

I mention this because, well, I’m proud of me. But also, because I have been trying to encourage Blondie to do the same and when a friend of mine yesterday mentioned an anxiety with a situation I tried to share this technique with her.

Reaction? She commented ‘not everyone has the perfect life like you…’

My response: Perfect life?? Wow. So so far from perfect it’d make your head spin.

I just choose to not feel bad.

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