rubato456's Journal, 11 January 2017

tonite my daughter told me she thinks i need to have bariatric surgery. in front of her spouse. ive never felt so humiliated in my entire life. i want to crawl under a rock. it made me really angry actually. i feel so alone. i'm 80 lbs overweight. don't want to undergo surgery. i know how hard weight loss is . after all i lost 170 lbs. but over the years gained back 80. although i kept most of that off for over 10 years. i guess they forgot about that or it doesn't count any more. all they care about is how good i look or do not look now. i'm sure they are embarrassed by their fat mother and my daughter probably worries she be just like me some day. biology is a bitch isn't it? i don't like ppl giving me orders or telling me what to do. my husband said to me many years ago, you'll NEVER lose all that weight on weight watchers and i said to myself you just watch me you son of a bitch and i lost 170 lbs. well god damn it i guess its time to do that again. pray for me. i need strength right now.. alot of it.

Diet Calendar Entry for 11 January 2017:
1613 kcal Fat: 75.54g | Prot: 107.56g | Carb: 160.06g.   Breakfast: thinkThin Brownie Crunch High Protein Bar. Lunch: Quesadilla with Poultry and Cheese. Dinner: Kraft Light Asian Toasted Sesame Salad Dressing, Glory Foods Kale Greens, Planters Mixed Nuts. Snacks/Other: Oh Yeah! One - Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough, Oh Yeah! One - Peanut Butter Pie, NuGo Fiber D'lish Cinnamon Raisin. more...

16 Supporters    Support   

Comments 
Im sorry you had to hear that from your daughter, im sure it was very painful. Its just as painful as when my mother just blabs things out about my weight or what im eating and so forth. Ive learned to zone her out lol. I love my mom and i know she means well even if she didnt say it right. Im sure your daughter is just concerned for you. Ive been overweight all my life and 170 lbs lose is AWESOME! thats what im looking at here. Im going to take it one day at a time. Ive done this to myself all these years, so i can take all the time i have now to lose the weight. I hope everything works out for you. Good luck and ill mention u in my prayers! 
11 Jan 17 by member: mughrabi1
You lost 170 pounds! You and your community are so proud of you. Families can be so mean and cutting sometimes. Your inner voice is wise and healthy. Listen to it. We are hear to support you.  
11 Jan 17 by member: ceciofal
thanks mughrabi1. what really hurt was her spouse lecturing me on her experience in weight loss and weight gain. she was really pretty self entitled opinionated and acted like she was a know it all. shes' half my age and i don't think she was ever a fraction of what i used to weigh. i don't think the girl has a clue how ppl who struggle w/ weight like some of us do. but the worst was being lectured by her spouse in such a beligerant way. that was the worst. i will do it and so will you. one day at a time. baby steps. even if someone has the surgery weight is lost one day at a time nothing happens over night. the idea of mutliating myself that way just seems so wrong. and so scary. if i lost 170 once before. surely i can lose 80 now. without question it was the hardest thing i ever did . day one starts now. 
11 Jan 17 by member: rubato456
Do what you feel right, do not allow others to judge you or allow them to dictate your actions, it is your life, you control it. You have done an amazing job, do not be shamed into anything. You have the power to raise above them all. 
11 Jan 17 by member: brucemcguigan
Thanks all for your support! It means so much to me!!!!💕💙❤️👏👌 
12 Jan 17 by member: rubato456
She totally could have handled it better, but I'm sure she's coming from a place of genuine concern. As far as the Sil, I'd consider that self preservation lol if he doesn't support your daughter.. life will suck for him. Lol 
12 Jan 17 by member: TheLovelyMrsG
I would try to use that anger to push forward but would like to think they are coming from concern and love. Just handled it poorly...You've done it before, you can do it again! Lots of support here!!! 
12 Jan 17 by member: Rckc
Weight is an emotionally sensitive topic for all of us. Sending support! 
12 Jan 17 by member: erikahollister
I don't think our kids always realize just how much their words can hurt us. Don't let it discourage you, though. Let it feed the fires of your success. If it continues to weigh heavy on your heart, maybe have a conversation with her when you two are alone and just let her know how much her support and encouragement mean to you, and how she can best show that support and encouragement. Chances are that she doesn't even realize how it made you feel. You have support here, though. We are all rooting for you! 
12 Jan 17 by member: Mousy1109
YES - I love the "I'll show you" attitude! It worked for me when I was stuck  
12 Jan 17 by member: HCB
[img]https://c1.staticflickr.com/1/541/32147926561_c5b824264a_o.jpg[/img] [img]https://c1.staticflickr.com/1/265/32147927531_b7b506a991_o.png[/img] [img]https://c1.staticflickr.com/1/492/31891285570_a067cdb74d_o.jpg[/img] [img]https://c1.staticflickr.com/1/405/32118211932_7a28888199_o.jpg[/img] [img]https://c1.staticflickr.com/1/400/32267445585_ff10b46701_o.jpg[/img]  
12 Jan 17 by member: rontravis
I am sorry that you are having to deal with this. You have done a wonderful job and should be proud of yourself. NEVER let anyone make you feel bad about who you are!!! 
12 Jan 17 by member: PGM012197
Don't do it for them, do it for you. You are the important one here, if you go in with the wrong mindset you will gain it all back. Do it for you. One day at a time. If they get on you again remind them its your body, your journey and if they know what is good for them they will support you. You can do this. 
12 Jan 17 by member: BrenIL1
Darn.......all my pics did NOT show up! 
12 Jan 17 by member: rontravis
Praying for your strength and healing. You can do this...you have lots of genuine support coming from your FS family. 
13 Jan 17 by member: 2227Gwen
If it's in your heart to do it then you will and it will be for you not them. I thought about it for ages then I realised finally that I wanted to do it and I am. Good luck, do what is best for you 
14 Jan 17 by member: Shaddon317
get on a strict LOW CARB WAY OF EATING... and that weight will fall off... go off and on and it will not... been down that long bumpy road....358.I was huge all my life.. health went to heck in a hand basket too.....down to 143 now...all my blood numbers are great ... 2 rounds of Chemo and Stem Cell transplant... did not hold me back...I stayed that way of eating thu it all............. it took me a long time to get this all figured out... and now i work to stay where i am.. sooo good luck you can do it.....tell a women she can not and by golly SHE WILL....there is a nice group I found... lowcarbandlovinit@yahoogroups.com that help folks a lot .. drop on in and they will sure help you to understand what our body does with the foods we give it.... have a blessed day 
06 Feb 17 by member: SJWNana
your already to rock n roll remember how satisfied you will be. you have the know how we're here to support your refreshed, rejuvenated self go girl.  
06 Feb 17 by member: #1loser

     
 

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