thecoach's Journal, 23 May 2011

I finished the graphic job for the doctor's receptionist ..I'm off to play....I will walk the entire course...

Male or Female? You might not have known this, but a lot of non-living objects are actually either male or female. Here are some examples:

FREEZER BAGS
They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.

PHOTOCOPIERS
These are female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again.

They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong buttons.

TIRES
Tires are male, because they go bald easily and are often over inflated.

HOT AIR BALLOONS
Also a male object, because to get them to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under their butt.

SPONGES
These are female, because they are soft, squeezable and retain water.

WEB PAGES
Female, because they're constantly being looked at and frequently getting hit on.

TRAINS
Definitely male, because they always use the same old lines for picking up people.

HOURGLASS
An hourglass is female because, over time, all the weight shifts to the bottom.......JK...I'd better be!!

HAMMERS
Male, because in the last 5000 years, they've hardly changed at all, and are occasionally handy to have around.

THE REMOTE CONTROL
Female. Ha! You probably thought it would be male, but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know which buttons to push, he just keeps trying...

When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $10.95 per minute.

A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station.


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1 to 20 of 22
Comments 
OMG Coach, this has to be your funniest one yet - love the one about the TIRES and the PHOTOCOPIER. Too funny. Laughing out loud at my work desk and getting stares. Have a good week Coach :) 
23 May 11 by member: healthy_allie
I would have said Hammer is a male because it has a hard head! Great stuff Coach. 
23 May 11 by member: mammasix
The remote control for sure. The fist ultra sound of my son showed him reclining with his hand up like he was surfing channels, lol! Good stuff, hope the course is keeping you fit. 
23 May 11 by member: nolechick
The tires and the hot air balloon got me to LOL. I really appreciate the jokes Coach. I need to smile often and these do the trick..Have a terrific time on the course........Bren 
23 May 11 by member: BHA
This is great!!!  
23 May 11 by member: noodle0726
Lol awesome jokes Coach! Hope you have a wonderful day! 
23 May 11 by member: AshleySM
LOL totally have to copy to Facebook  
23 May 11 by member: NoChubbyMom
This was so cute! I even laughed at the hourglass! :P 
23 May 11 by member: XPrettyXFaceX
Thanks for keeping them coming. 
23 May 11 by member: BuffyBear
Excellent!! 
23 May 11 by member: triaby
LOL those are great.  
23 May 11 by member: Jennifer2010
LOl...10.95 per minute...thanks again Coach. TOWANDA!!!! 
23 May 11 by member: Lisa Online
HAHAHAHHAHA - copied it and skyped it to my husband :).... that'll make his day :)  
24 May 11 by member: Makitsi
very fun! You brighten my day coach! 
24 May 11 by member: sharonfriz
:) 
24 May 11 by member: chic_girl
Tee-hee-hee....needed a laught his am, will be passing this on! 
24 May 11 by member: thynes
Coach thank you for promising yourself and leading the way - Towanda!! "Promise yourself-- to be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind. To talk health, happiness and prosperity to every person you meet. To make all your friends feel that there is something inside them. To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true. To think only of the best, to work only for the best and expect only the best. To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own. To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to greater achievements of the future. To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living creature you meet a smile. To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticise others. To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear and too happy to permit the presence of trouble." As it turns out, these words were written almost 100 years ago by an early New Thought thinker named Christian L. Larson. And they're just as timely now as they were then. :)  
24 May 11 by member: Lisa Online
Thanks for the website- I'm going to try some of the tips on there! Keep the jokes coming :) 
24 May 11 by member: Jillian04
Hi Coach! Have a beautiful day! I'm sure the weather in Cali is awesome (as always!)  
24 May 11 by member: macarooon
You are too funny! Hope you enjoyed the course! 
24 May 11 by member: britt-a-knee

     
 

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