jsfantome's Journal, 15 May 2011

Every find your motivation and focus run out of steam after awhile? Well, I do!!! My personal struggle has been with this last 5 lbs, since Oct. And I have literally gone up and down, like a yo-yo, within the same 6 lbs during that time! I have gone all the way back to Induction - didn't help. Back thru OWL. Back into Maintenance.

I have up'd my Cardio, Intensity, Duration. Eased off the Cardio, and switched to working out my muscles w/ weights, machines, stretching, etc.

I have literally confused myself so much in the past 6 months, that I have no focus left, don't know what the heck I am doing... and back up two pounds this week.

OK, sure, it could have been the ice cream. Probably had something to do with it. But I didn't eat 7500 Calories worth of ice cream.

Then I read Stef's journal. And she has created a deficit, that should have produced results... but hasn't. WHY????

This is crazy! And I just feel STUCK in the mud. My emotions are tired of trying. My brain cells are tired of counting! I don't have cravings or want to eat things I shouldn't... but I just want to ignore it all - and have those 5 lbs come off! What the heck is a girl to do!

Just tired of the evaluation process. Tired of letting that stupid scale bother me so much. I really thought it was going in the other direction, and whether a fluctuation, or water retention, or whatever... I'm just tired of it!

I want to think like a healthy, 'normal' weighted person! I feel like I am obsessive, and I don't want to be :)

aaaaagggghhhhh! Rain, go away... you are just making it worse! :)

Much Love!

Diet Calendar Entries for 15 May 2011:
1569 kcal Fat: 121.88g | Prot: 92.82g | Carb: 19.05g.   Breakfast: coffee (8oz) black, water (6-10 AM), bacon (9AM), butter, eggland's best eggs (9AM), hidden carbs. Lunch: butter, broccoli, water , shredded cheddar, ribeye steak. Dinner: water (4-6), ground beef, bacon ranch dressing, real bacon bits (1 tblsp), hidden carbs, romaine. Snacks/Other: almonds (20 nuts). more...
1768 kcal Activities & Exercise: Weight Training (moderate) - 25 minutes, Exercise machine (fast) - 7 minutes, Resting - 15 hours and 28 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
on diet Atkins  

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FEEL YOUR PAIN! 
15 May 11 by member: BuffyBear
Thanks, Buffy! Glad someone can relate! I am in a serious funk this morning! But this too shall pass :) And in the meanwhile, I will do what I know to do - which should at a minimum keep me running on this hampster wheel another week!!!! Much Love. 
15 May 11 by member: jsfantome
Paula, I know exactly how you feel....I am moving more, burning more, eating the right things (well within the OWL parameters, even though I am using the Primal Blueprint for a guideline), being a "good girl" and still nada...and I am still 47 pounds from goal! And of course the weather here is not helping my mood or motivation either....so nasty, and it just can't seem to make up it's mind, 90 and sun on Thursday, 50 and rain today. UGHHHH!!! Well, at least we can commiserate, right? Hugs and love, my sweet friend! Hang in there and enjoy your Sunday morning service. 
15 May 11 by member: ctlss
Good morning Paula! We all go thru this blue day once in awhile.. Hope your day gets better. It seems everyone's body works differently. One thing I'm so glad about my food is I don't have to count protein or carb or fat or water intake or whatever.. I ask myself what I want to eat and that's what I write down and I eat thru the day. I edit at the end of the day if I had a slight change from my plan. I don't plan for what I *should*. I plan what I want. I can't do too much cardio.. it triggers my hunger and makes me want to eat more. That's just me.. I'm so glad we are on this lifetime journey together. You've been doing so WONDERFULLY! Have a happy & healthy day, dear buddy!:) 
15 May 11 by member: happynow
I'm off to church w/ the family... I will praise HIM in every circumstance! (including my foul mood today!) Not sure what HE has in store for me, but there's surely a purpose... and I will find it! Much Love!!! 
15 May 11 by member: jsfantome
Yes, we must praise Him in the storm!!! There is always a reason for everything that happens....I just wish sometimes I knew what His plan was! Oh, well, no matter what it is, I will follow. Love! 
15 May 11 by member: ctlss
Paula - Sounds like you have a specific number for your goal weight and you are sticking with it. Might you consider a goal range? I would say that with all the exercise, good nutritional eating etc you must be looking pretty fit. Maybe you are right where you need to be? You are being really hard on yourself about losing the last 5 lbs, maybe regear your mindset to how you are going to maintain and keep up with what you can commit to long term as your consistent schedule of food vs exercise. If those last 5 are meant to come off...they will with a little less self imposed stress. Hopefully you received a boost in church today. Our sermon this morning was about God bringing the right people into your life at the right time. The timing for that message was perfect for both DH and me. God bless you today Paula! 
15 May 11 by member: HealthyBabs
Calories in/calories out is not the simplistic system that some might want it to be. Experience shows that it's not. And, it just might be that exercise is not the weight-loss essential we were all taught it was, either! Good for cardio health, yes, but essential for weight loss? Maybe not so much. For another perspective on calories in/calories out, I encourage you to read Gary Taubes' book, "Why We Get Fat," if you haven't already. It was hard for me to get through it the first time, but I'm going back and re-reading portions to TRY to get a better understanding of how and why a body stores fat and what makes a body release it. I absolutely hear you on wanting to be less concerned with weight!!!!!!!! Seems like it's always on the brain, right? I'm having a hard time remembering what life used to be like when I could think about other things! After all the learning you've done on this journey of yours, I've no doubt you'll figure this out and ultimately decide to do what's best for yourself. I hope the rest of your day gets a bit brighter. Hugs..... 
15 May 11 by member: Sandy701
Thanks Sandy! Your hug... and Stef's journal on faith, and Babs - you just might be the right person for me at the right time!!! I know better than to freak out and get all worked up over a fluctuation! Heck it's not permanent. It's only permanent if I throw in the towel and pig out for the next 30 days straight!!! :) Not gonna happen! So, I have enjoyed my day so far... and I will deal w/ one day at a time, and do the things I know to do, and I will regain control of this increase, yet again. And Babs, you might just be right. No matter how much I think in my head that I might want to be at 135... I might just be making this worse, by not just accepting the 140, and being happy to call this home. Heck, when I started out and picked a goal, I picked 140, but thought if I could dream to get to 160 I would be thrilled!!! 140 was a pipe dream! :) no joke! So, yes!!! I am definitely happy w/ where I am, what shape I am in... and I am going to work on keeping my attitude from getting stinky when the scale jumps around! Hope you all have had a great weekend. Most rain today. But I still had fun! Hope you did too!!! 
15 May 11 by member: jsfantome
Paula, I come here everyday and read your journal. I don't always comment, as I don't on a lot of people's journals, but I learn something new from every one I read, and every day. Sometimes it is a personal tidbit about the person, sometimes it is that we all struggle (your journal today), and sometimes it is just something that makes me feel good, like Auntie Jan's butterfly headband. But the most amazing thing that I see in all these journals is how alike we all truly are....we are not alone. Thanks Paula, for your wonderful comments and for the prayers....faith...it is what keeps us going! Love!  
15 May 11 by member: ctlss
Paula, I hear you on your funk but your blue days don't last long and I am confident that this one won't either, you are too 'up' a person for that. And as for the weight loss, as said above, perhaps you need to think more in terms of 'range' than a specific number. Balance, honey, balance and hope tomorrow seems brighter, for both of us. 
15 May 11 by member: sarahsmum
Ahhh Paula, if I am that "right person" I feel truly blessed to be so. I almost didn't comment on your journal today because I didn't really feel like I had the right. I am so far from goal (whatever that ends up to be) at this point but that got me to thinking about what the goal really is and wondered how I would come to know what it will be. I hope you are still around here when I get towards my goal!!  
15 May 11 by member: HealthyBabs
Thanks Stef, and Issy!!! I am definitely on my way back UP!!! Mood that is! Scale... don't even pay attention to that statement LOL! Ok, so here's the moral of the story... When you're feeling blue... come on here... purge your 'stuff'... and you're friends will chime in to make you see things more clearly! Thanks so much guys! Spirit is lifting... life is good... don't have all the answers... but then no one ever said I would... Tomorrow is a new day! And one I will LIVE with intention! Much Love to you ladies! And thanks for the moral support! 
15 May 11 by member: jsfantome
:D 
15 May 11 by member: ctlss
It's so BORING. And HARD. I could look back and say 2010/11 - the most tedious year of my life. OR I could say 2010/11 - the year where I started to change my life for the besst, for my health, and for my future. Half full vs. Half empty. But GOD, yes, it's exhausting. =) xxx 
15 May 11 by member: ferlengheti
fergie ... :))) and Babs... pls don't ever feel like you can't speak into my life! I need others as much as anyone else. I started where you started. I just got to maintenance land before you - because I started before you. All things are common! All things!!! Much Love. 
15 May 11 by member: jsfantome
Sophie....always half FULL!!!! 
15 May 11 by member: ctlss
Hi Paula, how about a blast from the past from a fellow boot camp buddy! I'm so proud of you! Six pounds or not, you are still my hero! I know EXACTLY how you feel. I'm having my own struggle to finish what I started. On the positive side, I'm maintaining what I lost. On the negative, I'm not at my goal! It's so much harder to get back into the goove this time and I'm trying to figure out how I could have been so focused when I lost the 30, but not able to get the focus back! I think some of the problem for me is that I was somewhat satisfied with how I looked and felt...until this past week when I was looking for a dress to wear to a wedding. Now, I'm not so satisfied! Maybe the difference before was that if I cheated, I knew there would be a good old boot camp butt kicking! Ahhh, those were the days! Have you heard anything about our leaders? I learned alot from them, actually from all the members of boot camp. As far as I know, Paula, you're the ONE original member who basically MADE IT! I see you as a success story and have always been an inspiration. I'm going back to basics, I think. I've read Gary Taubes book, it does a good job of the reasons why low carb makes healthy sense. I have my "Kimm's Bible" from before, and I read something tonight that makes sense. Talking about willpower, if you have it, you can do anything. How? Close your eyes, picture the goal, count to 20! You, my friend, are a master at this! Wish me luck, I'm going to be the count to 20 queen! 
15 May 11 by member: wildflower3051
OH MY WORD! Wildflower, it's sooooo good to see you back! I have my eyes closed and counting to 20 for you! ;) No, sadly I have not heard one word... nothing since either leader left. I often wonder how Kimm is doing, ... but I often lift her in prayer with a heart of gratitude. She really straightened out my thinking when it was all crooked and messed up in the beginning. Life is good for me, and I hope you also. I will look for you to check in frequently... and will but on my old boots if need be!!! Much love, dear friend! 
15 May 11 by member: jsfantome

     
 

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