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(45 lb to go) That's what it says under my weight on my toolbar, and you know... it sounds pretty damn attainable. I remember when I first started and it said (140 lbs to go), yup, 45 is looking quite nice.
Only down one loitering pound this week, which is fine because I lost three last week. It was also an extremely slow week for calorie burn, as I spent the majority of my week sitting on my bum with three sick children. Only got to the gym once, and although I felt guilty about that for a while, I'm no superwoman. Working from seven to seven is exhausting, with two sick babies to tote around I deserved to come home. Not like I could leave them in the tot watch. I'll get those pesky pounds next week for sure!
My birthday is next Saturday, and I would like to give myself something more than updated tags and registration for my vehicle this year. I would like to go back to the eighties... the decade I was born, and also in very close vicinity to my one hundred pound mark lol. My husband is working today, trying to scrounge up some extra pennies to make my special day special. He tries so hard, but all I really want is to sleep in once in a while lol. I believe he is planning on taking me to the cheesecake factory, where I might die of delicious related complications :-). Drooling already.
I hope to hit the gym today, we are under a winter weather advisory through two a.m. tonight. Will it ever end?! Got to get that calorie burn in though, big goals.
Trying to counter some negative self image thoughts that keep popping into my head. I was going to start by getting all prettied up, but that doesn't play in real well if I'm going to the gym. I had a nightmare last night that my husband told me he thought my shrinking belly was unattractive. I don't have copious amounts of skin hanging, it kind of literally looks like a deflating balloon. I can see a tummy tuck and skin removal way off in the future, but I really don't think it looks bad as is. I won't be strutting around in a bikini or anything, but ya know. I've never been bikini material so I don't have anything to miss. I thought I was proud of my body, now I just don't know. Way better than when the ninety five pounds was still underneath that skin, so no going back there, I've just suddenly been shaken by an insecure moment. For the record, even if my husband thought those things he would never say them. He would never ever say anything or imply anything negative about me or my image. He is my biggest fan, this has all been fabricated entirely in my mind. Stupid dreams.
Well that's enough of my mindless babble :-) I'm going to head out and see what you all are up to! It's been an insane week, so glad it's Saturday.
Have a wonderful day!!
Diet Calendar Entry for 29 March 2014:
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1768 kcal
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Fat: 74.11g | Prot: 89.31g | Carb: 143.60g.
Breakfast: Kellogg's FiberPlus Antioxidants Protein Chewy Bars - Peanut, EAS Lean 15 Protein Powder - Chocolate Fudge, Beatrice Skim Milk, Coffee-Mate Original Powder Creamer. Lunch: Eckrich Smoked Sausage made with Pork, Turkey, Beef, Bertolli Olive Oil, Brownberry Honey Wheat Sandwich Thins, Egg, Egg White. Dinner: Kraft Sweet & Spicy Chipotle Barbecue Sauce, Redd's Apple Ale, American Value Green Beans (Canned), Turkey Stuffing, Kroger Pork Steak. more...
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 Comments
I decided for my wedding anniversary to celebrate with decadent food, but not high calorie food. For me, a trip to The Cheesecake Factory would probably set me back two weeks, and I'm not willing to pay that. BUT I did get lobster which, even with the butter, was under 600 calories and felt like a real treat. Good luck whatever you decide to do and happy birthday in advance. Remember that there are those of us who envy you because you are under 200!
29 Mar 14 by member: mrsmole
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Thank you mrsmole :-) I am in no way trying to discount my excitement for being in onederland, I've worked very hard for that, but I find that negative self image days effect most people from time to time regardless of how much weight we've lost. It's all in our heads, our shifting perceptions. As far as dinner goes I try not to think of it as celebrating with food, as the food won't be the focal point of the evening. For me its the luxury of the atmosphere, and of course not having to cook and clean up the mess lol. (at least that's how I am trying to learn to think of it) I also try not to look at an evening out as a set-back, although I can understand how it could be. For me looking at it as a set back would ruin the fun, so I prefer to think along the lines of "losing to live, not living to lose". Never know when your last birthday is coming, I'm taking the cake in all of it's calorie dense glory lol :-)
29 Mar 14 by member: Annabelle3117
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sick little ones can definitely bring out the negativity. working plus sick is a definite energy and attitude drain. hope they are better. your gym trip should make you feel a little better. enjoy your DH spoiling you on your birthday. cheesecake factory is yummy
29 Mar 14 by member: wholefoodnut
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Sounds like you've got a great husband. :) I know firsthand how our own anxieties like to be projected on to friends and family, so it's good to be able to see through that.
Have a good weekend!
29 Mar 14 by member: EmmaMaJig
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I think we all get twinges of self doubt and poor body image moments now and then. I've been reading your journals for quite some time now and am confident that your head is in the right space. I feel you are wise beyond your years. I am so proud of your success to date - and I know you will reach your goals. Have a great weekend.
29 Mar 14 by member: Lynn1958
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Fabulous, Yolanda! Love your comments and can totally relate - and what great comments from others! I'd have to agree! Maybe decide on one one thing to indulge in at the Cheesecake Factory if you're worried about over-indulging. My choice would be to eat a more sensible dinner and then go for the cheesecake! But, whichever you decide, I know you'll get right back on track after, check in here at FS and share another great journal. Keep up the great work!
29 Mar 14 by member: Kiki8123
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YO, I too believe "your head is in the right space"! In my opinion & you know who that matters to :D your mentality is spot on! Realizing that a dream is just a dream & not the reflection of anothers thoughts, approaching your dinner with calories & all as losing to live & not living to lose(I soooo love that!)Disclaiming any wrong inclinations toward your
husband before he is accused,acknowledging that our shifting perspectives can lead to negativity & we can deal successfully by understanding & remembering that it's all in our heads then adjust how we respond. You got it & I think you will keep it! :D Thanks for an inspiring read & have a great day yourself.
29 Mar 14 by member: myawethinTICself
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You've worked so hard and deserve a splurge once in a while. Do it. I've never been there, but just the name "cheesecake" has me dribbling on the keyboard. Cheesecake in any form, fashion or flavor is special. Right up there next to donuts. :~)
29 Mar 14 by member: ClassicRocker
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Wow, 45 lbs. to go what an amazing accomplishment. Enjoy your Birthday celebration and a little indulgence. And get those negative self images out of your head. All of your FS buds know that you are a beautiful person (not just physical) and so does your husband. We are all here to support you when you have a down moment or a crazy thought or two. But go ahead a let that go, it’s not true.
29 Mar 14 by member: ChicaLean
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Sick kids will try the best of plans. They have to be a priority at times like this. I know what a slippery slope it is when you get a bit down about not attaining mini-goals, but really, let your logical brain say, "Hey, it's a journey, and my kids needed me and I'll catch up soon enough." Sorry you didn't get to sleep in, but it's great that your husband wants to make your birthday special. Here's to a great birthday and continued good attitude about your body image. That dream was just that - a dream, and good on you for recognizing that it wasn't reality. You are so fortunate to have a husband that is your best cheerleader! You rock and are very inspirational, so keep remembering that!
29 Mar 14 by member: gilliansings
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I always have negative thoughts about my body in my head. It drives me nuts! I haven't had a dream about my body yet, just the other stress dreams one abnormally gets! You got this girl!
29 Mar 14 by member: Kris AZ
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You are an amazing woman and you have accomplished so much. Congrats on your incredible results so far. You deserve to celebrate your birthday without guilt. Live it up!
29 Mar 14 by member: JennBuck61
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You always have known that is was a lifestyle change and not a race so keep doing what you can and know that it will happen. Enjoy your birthday because it is your special day. Conquer your voices in your head by the fact that you are so much more that skin. Trust me, I know that I'm not bikini material either but I am okay with that as long as I know that I will be living a happier more fulfilling life when all is said and done. My greatest thing to look forward to is to be able to buy clothes in a regular store not shop in a plus size catalog. I plan to get my daughter to help style me up when the time comes because I think she has great taste in clothes. Have a great day Yolanda.
29 Mar 14 by member: LadyBea40
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What an inspiration !!! WOW !!! I know you feel so much better, too. Congralutions on all your hard work and sticking to your dreams !!
29 Mar 14 by member: erwinwarrior83
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It does feel good to be lighter, doesn't it?
29 Mar 14 by member: madaboutmoose
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Good for you! stay consistent and remind us of your birthday again next week.
29 Mar 14 by member: madanjen
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Hope you have a happy birthday. those nagging insecurities do try to creep into our thoughts once in a while. Keep booing them away. They just aren't true! We can do this!!!!! Have a great weekend!
29 Mar 14 by member: springskinny
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Sounds like you have an awesome man. It is great when you have that kind of support! Have a wonderful birthday!
29 Mar 14 by member: kattay
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Sounds crazy 'born in the 80s' LOL ...you young thing you. Wouldnt it be be great if the for every pound we lost, at least one insecurity departed with it? We'd be self actualized by the time we reach our goal weight.
30 Mar 14 by member: FullaBella
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Fulla that's a wonderful thought ...
30 Mar 14 by member: JennBuck61
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