Janelleas's Journal, 28 January 2009

Hello, my name is Janelle and Im a Food-a-holic. I have discovered what I really suspected for a long time and have enough evidence to now state with complete confidence that I am a food-a-holic. I think there is a difference in people just like with alcoholics’s that makes drinking (or in my case eating) a real disorder that other people will never understand. Just like an alcoholic that can not take just one drink, I have found that I cannot eat just one potato chip. Some people can eat one piece of pie and be done, but if the pie is here in my home... it will keep calling me to it until I have consumed an entire pie by the time I go to sleep. If I try to go to sleep with the pie still in existence, it will keep calling to me in my sleep and dreams until I get up and finish the darn thing off.

Recently I have done two liquid fast days within the last month. What I discovered there was that when I left food entirely out of my plans for those days, I had no problem at all. Like an alcoholic that is on the wagon. I knew I was not going to be eating any food that day and discovered that my mind was NOT on food or what I would eat next. I was quite content just drinking my juice and tea. Food was not calling to me, not at all.

FOOD CALLS ME: Once I started back on food again, all plans to stick to my diet went out the window. It isn’t just pie or things like that. It's all food. Healthy food, turkey slices, low fat cottage cheese, I can over-eat anything. I realize that like an alcoholic, I cannot stop with a small serving or a “sensible” serving. I crave more. Overeating has been a problem with me for a lot longer than the weight has been an issue. I remember people commenting on how a small person like me could eat so much. I clean every plate, no matter how much or how big. I have no shut off valve when it comes to food.

DIET DILEMMA: I love the South Beach diet, it has literally saved mine and hubby’s lives, but it calls for eating between meals and the importance of snacks. I know there is much evidence to support how great it is to keep your meals small and include snacks. However... If a person like myself has a problem with control it is like asking an alcoholic to drink ½ a beer and come back and finish the rest tomorrow. Willpower is not the answer, I simply cannot resist for too long without going on a “binge”.

I have thought this over and think I might have a plan that would work for me. Eating trigger’s a “binge” response in me and it is a constant struggle for me to try to avoid eating too much and puts food on my mind all the time, setting me up to binge or keeping my mind occupied with what and when I am going to eat next... I have a plan.

THE PLAN: I remember in “over-eater’s anonymous” that I attended many years ago they had a 3-0-1 plan. 3 meals a day, nothing in-between meals, and One day at a time. I am going to test that plan and see how I feel and how it goes. Then go to three or two meals a day without the snacks. I don’t want to keep thinking about food all day. I will see if it gives me better control if I quit snacking. A “snack” for me will be my teas or light drinks. I think if I cut down the number of times I am faced with taking “just one serving” the better off I might be. I will stick with my South Beach foods and see what happens. Certainly there can be nothing wrong with eating just three meals a day. Our parents and grandparents did it and didn’t have weight issues.

FOOD IS THE ENEMY: I need to learn to eat when I am hungry and not just eat because its snack time or out of habit or some uncontrollable urge to binge. I think being a food-a-holic is making my diet much too challenging. I don’t know when this happened any more than an alcoholic knows when and why it happened to them. I just know that I will now start thinking of myself as a food-a-holic and treat food with a little more reverence. I need to free myself from this addiction. I know that I cannot just live on juice and drinks, but doing the liquid fast made me realize that food is my enemy. The same as alcohol is the enemy of an alcoholic. I need to keep that in mind.

So today is day one of my new plan. Avoid food when possible, no snacking at all, eat 3 times a day when hungry. If not very hungry, eat a “snack” for lunch or dinner. Food will not tempt me more than 3 times a day anymore. I need to get in control.

---

890 kcal

Fat: 51.11g | Prot: 68.59g | Carb: 43.41g.   Breakfast: spring onions, spinach, egg white, egg, mug coffe 10 ounce, decaff. Lunch: no sugar added vanillia ice cream, Crystal Light On The Go Metabolism Peach Mango Green Tea. Dinner: garlic, tsp olive oil, normandy style vegetables, pan grilled salmon. Snacks/Other: hot herbal nitetime tea. more...

1744 kcal

Activities & Exercise: Calisthenics (light, e.g. home exercise) - 20 minutes, Resting - 15 hours and 40 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...