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One week ago, I saw a small shadowy figure from my past in my dimly lit closet. Sadly, we were once much closer and we spent time together regularly.
Unfortunately, my relative weight loss success had convinced me that I was smarter now, that my lifelong issues with food were behind me and that I no longer needed him.
As the months of eating well multiplied, I spent less and less time tracking my food accurately. If I did track my food I did it half ass, not truthfully or not at all. It had been months since I actually ate at or below my calorie limits and even though I wasn't eating as I had done my whole life...I was slowly but surely moving steadily in that direction!
I rarely if ever weighed myself for fear of the truth. I believe I weighed myself last fall and then again in February of 2019. Neither occasion was reason for celebration.
SO... as I stared at it, it brought back a flood of memories, mostly negative information and feedback. I bent over, picked it up and dusted it off.
I laid it down, took a deep breathe and apprehensively stepped on it. It read 299.8lbs. That was so sad! I was sad, disappointed and ashamed of myself.
I was literally 8lbs from my starting point. The reason I started at all was because my life depended on it and now I was almost right back at the beginning but yet, another year and a half older. I had promised myself that I would never be that man again, and yet I still was!
The moral of the story is this...it never stops being hard! Being obese, heavy or just overweight is a life deficit in every way imaginable. Your quality of life is always impacted negatively. Does that mean you are worth less? Heck no!
I have been a prisoner of obesity most of my life. It hasn't stopped me from being a good athlete but if I hadn't been overweight, I may have been great! I may have had the courage to take new opportunities, try new things and meet new people...but I didn't and I wouldn't. Why? Because I was self-conscious and always physically compromised.
One week later, I am weighing myself daily now and will continue to do so.
I will track my food, be honest with myself and hold myself accountable.
Today, I forgive myself and my scale! We have re-committed ourselves to a longterm relationship!
I love you scale!
Diet Calendar Entries for 14 July 2019:
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2079 kcal
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Fat: 85.38g | Prot: 73.53g | Carb: 267.01g.
Breakfast: Butter , Great Value Frozen Whole Kernel Golden Corn, Green Peas (Frozen) , Broccoli Flower Clusters , Publix Onions, Great Grains Bakery Multigrain Bread with Flax Seeds, Egg, Bing Cherries, Cooked Asparagus (from Fresh). Lunch: Jelly (All Flavors), Jif Extra Crunchy Peanut Butter, Great Grains Bakery Multigrain Bread with Flax Seeds. Dinner: Sargento Balanced Breaks Natural White Cheddar with Almonds and Cranberries. Snacks/Other: AMC Movie Theater Popcorn (Small), Market Basket Frozen Blueberries, Quick Oatmeal (1 or 3 Minutes), Market Pantry Frozen Mixed Berries. more...
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3489 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Walking (moderate) - 3/mph - 46 minutes, Resting - 15 hours and 14 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
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