adefwebserver's Journal, 11 July 2018

Day 3 of a planned 5 day fast

If I wasn't fasting I would give up, seriously.

My body wants to be at 180 pounds.

I got on the scale this morning after two really good fasting days and when I still had not lost all the weight from my weekend binging, I felt like I should just let my body be 180 pounds and call it a day.

I believe the cause is my food binging. This weekend I ate until I was 'over stuffed. I REALLY try hard to control my eating but except for these past two months I have been obese ALL my adult life. I haven't controlled my eating in the past, I continue to try, but, I-am-unable-to-do-it :(

As far as my weight gain, the only criticism that I am sensitive to is the belief that "you need to eat to keep your metabolism up to burn calories." Even if this were true, when I eat I eat too much. An obese guy eating "to keep my metabolism up so I can lose weight" is something that I TRIED for years (see my 8 year history on this site) and it hasn't worked, so I stopped doing it.

The only time I don't over eat is when I am fasting.

Anyway, I took a look at my numbers for the past 20 days:

June 22-June 30th (10 days)
367 carbs
6639 calories

July 1st-July 10 (10 days)
468 carbs
9765 calories

Now this site:
https://bit.ly/2maUL1U

Says:

◾Men ages 19 to 30 burn 2,400 to 2,600 calories daily
◾Men between the ages of 31 and 50 burn 2,200 to 2,400 calories
◾Men older than 50 burn about 2,000 to 2,200 calories each day.

I'm practically 50, and lets say my metabolism is 'screwed up' and I only burn 1500 calories a day.

This means that in 10 days I should burn 15,000 calories
As I can see, during each period I had a calorie deficit.
Yet, during both 10 day periods I STILL gained weight (I went from 178 to my preset 182).

Now, I do believe that it is 'water water everywhere'. I am going on a 5 mile run and when I get back I usually drop 2-3 pounds. Then later in the day I usually gain it back. So I firmly believe that there is a '8-10 pound water weight' involved.

But, I have been trying to DIET, and in 20 days I am not losing weight.

I believe the problem is that I have consumed an average of 40 carbs a day. I believe that I need to get this down to around 20. I believe that I CAN do it by fasting more days in the week (currently it is 5).

So I have these choices:

1) Give up
2) Try to eat more to boost my metabolism so I will burn more calories and lose weight
3) Keep fasting (for the rest of my life)

For now I'm sticking with #3

I always try to remind myself to be humble, and a humble person is able to feel gratitude. The main thing I should be grateful for is that I am no longer obese! Not a day goes by where people don't comment on my weight loss, and most usually ask if I am done.

So, I am not going to give up. I am going to stay the course. Let's see how the rest of this week plays out.

I'm going to go for a 5 mile run...
182.0 lb Lost so far: 25.0 lb.    Still to go: 18.0 lb.    Diet followed 100%.

Diet Calendar Entries for 11 July 2018:
55 kcal Fat: 0.00g | Prot: 12.00g | Carb: 1.50g.   Breakfast: Quest Vanilla Milkshake Protein Powder. more...
2917 kcal Activities & Exercise: Walking (moderate) - 3/mph - 1 hour and 30 minutes, Running (jogging) - 5/mph - 1 hour, Resting - 13 hours and 30 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
gaining 2.3 lb a week

29 Supporters    Support   

Comments 
You should really try Keto with intermittent fasting. I’ve lost 17 lbs in 9 days. 
11 Jul 18 by member: febs126
sounds like you are in to win and new strategy is a good thing. keep doing what works for you.  
11 Jul 18 by member: sallkr3
@Adefwebserver. I totally get it, I'm really struggling with my diet, but we have to see that we HAVE made progress and if we don't burn out, we will continue towards our goal. You have done really good, so it's good to see you "stay the course" you ARE an inspiration. The struggle is real! Fight on! 
11 Jul 18 by member: Steven Anthony
It was helpful for me to see your 3 choices, I also am at that point. So I've make the choice (at least for today) to keep on my 3 day fat fast program MTW and TRY to keep within a reasonable (for me) woe the rest of the time.  
11 Jul 18 by member: JMA312
@febs126 - I was trying Keto this weekend with a 16:8 IF. I did the IF part but then consumed 2k calories and 100+ carbs during the "8" - I hope you are grateful that IF works for you because eating everyday AND losing weight has serious upsides :) 
11 Jul 18 by member: adefwebserver
@JMA312 - Sounds like a solid plan :) For me, for some reason I really like my Mon-Friday fast. I work Mon-Frida and I like NOT eating and spending the time walking at lunch and at night and running in the mornings. I was worried that I would get to thin to do that. Well, no need to worry about that anymore :)  
11 Jul 18 by member: adefwebserver
@Steven Anthony, @sallkr3 - Thanks for the support! 
11 Jul 18 by member: adefwebserver
Dude, you are a stud. You dropped over 30# in a few months, mastered fasting in the bargain, and inspired me and I am sure many others with your effort, experimentation, and continuous improvement. With respect, brother, you do not need a shrink, or a refeed, or a new plan, or to cut 20 carbs. You already know what you must do - control your refeed. Here are a couple specific thoughts. 1) Re-feeding is a crucial fasting skill to master, just like running fasted or managing electrolytes. If you can run 7 fasted miles, you can refeed properly. 2) You are not some special damaged binge machine. We all have that challenge. To be honest, your binges are not even that impressive. I put on 19# in a 9 day blowout from which I have yet to recover, and that lifter/faster dude Malchef put on almost 20 in a couple days IIRC. Took 7 days of fasting to get back to even. 3) Re-feeding properly, for happiness, health and weight maintenance, is harder than fasting. 4) So why bother? I mean really, I encourage you to answer that. Fasting is a b^tch. 99.9% of people will never even attempt. Re-feeding is harder still. For you, moreso, because you have been avoiding it for so long and you have been keeping bingeing as your secret light at the end of your fasting tunnel, neatly protected with "I can't." Look, I feel you. I love food and come from cultures where giant family holiday binges are a tradition. My WHY is straight up vanity. Vain AF. Need to look a certain way to be right. Shallow, no doubt, but that sh^t does get me off the couch. It also stopped me at 2 slices last night. What's your WHY?  
11 Jul 18 by member: jimmiepop
Are you working out? If so, are you sure your body composition is not changing and for now you may not see a weight drop but a body change. Check your belt loop, shirt arm size, shirt neck size etc. 
11 Jul 18 by member: Moecoe
have you thought about switching those 40 to fat grams instead of carb's?? heavy whipping cream in your coffee, fat bomb is you need a kick?? I am guessing the coffee may be the first hit of carb. switching that out may help to keep the carbs out and the keto friendly fat in. gosh knows you have been testing different things to test run them. you may eventually find your golden key 
11 Jul 18 by member: baskington
I can relate to 'always obese' Recall when I was placed in a kindergarten at age four or five, and felt shy because I did not like my fat self. Grew up with parents that somehow saw it as very important to not be thin and under nourished. Carbs was like a drug I was hooked on throughout my life. Getting this drug addiction out of my life has opened up a hope that I can love myself at a more normal level. Truly life changing. 
11 Jul 18 by member: Diddlee
@jimmiepop - Thanks man! Love this line: "To be honest, your binges are not even that impressive." #money! - Yes REFEEDING! Ok I'm gonna dig in. Gonna dig deeper into my "Why?" - Honestly, I'm a bit lost because I NEVER, I mean NEVER thought I would EVER get to 200 pounds. Sitting here at 180 lbs. a place I never thought I would ever be... well, I'm basically 'lost'... 
11 Jul 18 by member: adefwebserver
@Moecoe - I work out a lot. Mostly run. My body is definitely getting smaller. However, after 20 days you don't want the scale going 'up' :) 
11 Jul 18 by member: adefwebserver
@baskington - I agree :) Rather than consuming 100+ carbs a day on a refeed, I would LIKE To consume only 20 carbs and then consume a lot more fat (and protein). On my fasting days I should consume <5 carbs (for the last three days I have done that - Yay!) 
11 Jul 18 by member: adefwebserver
that is great you are doing so well on your fasting days. and if that does not help this time, or a couple times as you never know how long it will take to adapt to change, you can try something different. LOL! 
11 Jul 18 by member: baskington
Abef you have achieved so much and have developed so much discipline! Your body is being stubborn! I feel for you! I have been dealing with the same crap. The “what the hell is my body running off of!!???” You do need to deal with the binge eating. Have you talked to anyone about it. I know depression and anxiety (and hormones) are what drove me to eat ridiculously. And have you gone to a doctor? Do you have any underlying medical problems? You are also close to a healthy weight so your weight loss should decrease. As pissed off as you might feel, don’t give up.  
11 Jul 18 by member: CrashtestDawnie
@adef I hear you. Highbrow first world problems, these. So congratulations on leveling up! Stay awake. Success is no fcukn joke. Earning it has nothing to do with keeping it. You can decide who you are. Or else default back to equilibrium. Look around you. It's what the vast majority of us do. Same cycle over and over...  
11 Jul 18 by member: jimmiepop
@CrashtestDawnie - I wont give up, just feeling sorry for myself for a minute. I did think about mentally why I binge and I can't think of a period where I didn't. So this is something I will work on :) 
11 Jul 18 by member: adefwebserver
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