Carolyn Ray

50 something woman, from Oregon. Married with two grown daughters and three adorable grandchildren. We also Have a small male chuihuahau named little and a 14 year old giant cat named nicholas. I am a Medical Technologist (Lab Tech)for a large HMO. I have been struggling with my weight all my life...I know you hear this alot. 5 pounds or 50 pounds It seems it was all the same feelings for me. I was a very skinny child and my mom made me drink weight on..can you believe it, I rounded up in my teen age years. 115 lbs but I thought I was FAT!!! imagine that, I struggled to stay under 120 through my twentys and succeded with much fretting and starving, my thirtys brought about another 10 lbs and I was now at 130 -135 lbs , I worked at a grocery store , and for those of you who dont know already , THIS IS A VERY PHISICAL JOB, along with walking 5 miles a day to try and controll my weight (size 6-8 pants) I continued to frett about my weight. What I had was muscle not fat, In my 40s I went back to school and over the course of three years of sitting in class all day and studing all night I gained another 40 lbs, not a day went by that I didnt frett about my weight...I really did agonise over every bite I took and every sip of wine. I got a new and much less active job...I told myself I would take it off, and I tried but each attempt to diet would only result in a ten pound loss and a fifteen pound gain, I yo yo like this for ten years and at times I was sure I would never get a handle on my weight, ashamed and dissapointed and frightened,I am now at 200 lbs, and now I find fat secret....I feel like if I had a better tool to track my calories, nutriton and keep myself focused on my journey I could have had an eaiser time of it. I cant tell how good this makes me feel..I know I can do this now. Wish me luck and I wish you luck too.