Transformation Butterfly's Journal, 19 March 2016

I had a female co-worker come up to me yesterday morning at work and ask if I had a boy friend. I responded by telling he not at the present time. She then told me okay, then you aren't looking for someone as this would explain your your weight. Have you just given up or you don't care. (This from a woman who wears a size 3 and is constantly talking about how many bottles of wine she put away over the weekend. My response to her comment was this,"God has a plan for me and when he has a suitable partner for me then he will put us together" then walked away from me. Not sure where this was coming from as we are not friends just co-workers and I never discuss my personal life with her or anyone at work as she is the biggest gossip in the office. Now if that was not bad enough I was sitting in the lunch room minding my own business drinking a cappuccino that I bought and reading a religious book.(Fasting no food until sunset). I had a male co-worker come up to me and try to see the title of the book I was reading. He then told me "People who read books think they know it all and want to be smarty pants". I looked at him and then the time clock on the wall and said,"look at that it's time for me to go back to work have a nice lunch. I then exited the lunch room as fast as possible. Did I miss the boat or has it become common place for people to just walk up to someone and dump all over them and walk away.

If this wasn't a bad morning I found out from landlord that apartment complex is now under new management and my current rent of $1099 will increase to $1210 when current contract expires in October and if I will be moving I will need to give them three months notice.(Really I can barely afford to pay the rent now and everywhere I look in the area rents are $1300 to $1400 a month. My current take home is $571 a week and after utilities, insurances, other bills I only have $26 dollars a month for groceries) I asked for a raise or a cost of living increase two years ago and was told company is having a hard time.(Yeah right, they then went out about 20 plasma screen tv's and hung them in all 24 locations to flash marketing advertisement to our customers all day cost per location $3,000.00.) I moved into this apartment 7 years a roommate and the rent was $800.00 (Roommate had to go after 30 days as she refused to pay her half of the rent, she and her friends ate all of my food and they ran up all of the utilities. Neighbors told me then that when I left to go to work there where multiple men coming and going from the apartment all day long and they thought we running a brothel. She even had the nerve to call the police on me and tell them that I stole a diamond necklace from her after me and my friends packed up her possessions into 8 small boxes. This chick was sleeping on my bed, bed linens, watching my television and living for free, turns out she even stole a couch from Rooms To Go with a fraudulent check. I found out when they called my cellphone asking me to give them money. Had to change my telephone number as she told them it was her number. Seven years and still getting letters from bill collectors trying to find her.) In January I had a guy from work ask me to move into the second bedroom, but when I told him that he would have to pay $650 a month for 1/2 rent and utilities and undergo a background check from the landlord he told me "Hell No" this after his parents kicked him out of their house. He's 35 years old, divorced and the father of two kids. So I don't have much faith in roommates right now. I had a younger friend tell me to sell everything and move to an apartment for $400 a month (Can you say roach motel and drug den.) She's 28 and lives in a nice apartment on the inter coastal with three other roommates who share each others clothing and go out to bars drinking every night. (Ah to be young and not responsible for anyone but yourself.) I have been managing to pay the rent by myself for 7 years now and struggling every month. Landlord told me that we will revisit the issue in July and see where we stand. She also told me that she loves how clean the apartment is and it's the best kept apartment in the complex and how much she loves to come in my apartment.(Yeah I never bother her or maintenance guys as I repair most things by myself and pest control comes out of my pocket every month.) Keep in mind that the walls are paper thin, patch jobs from holes and damages from prior tenants before me and they tried to cover up fire damage from previous tenant with paint. (Discovered this when I climbed up on top of counter to clean cabinets on top and found the damage non-disclosure). Web search Park Plaza Apartments, Ft. Lauderdale and she pictures of complex (Keep in mind pictures are at least 15 years old. She stated that new owners will be upgrading complex with new washers/dryers (instead of coin operated will be card operated) and they will be updating appliances in apartments (really I had to go out and buy my own burner for stove after maintenance guy kept saying it was a faulty wire converter, works fine with new burner).

I am praying for a miracle right now and trying not to stress or worry about this too. I just want to concentrate on loosing the weight as this is the only thing I seem to have some control over right now. Eight more days of Sunrise to Sunset fasting left. In light of the above comments and issues praying harder that something will change.

I did get up this morning at 4:00 am and walked over to the exercise room and to walk on the treadmill. I walked for 53 minutes, speed 2.5 for a total calorie burn of 250 calories and lifted some weights, will do DVD and bike later today.

Fat secret family I am sorry if you think my journal was negative or complaining today, but I need to write what I am going through right now. Stress has away of effecting each and everyone of us and this in turn affects our weight whether you realize it or not. It's not complaining or becoming a victim of a situation if you take it and turn it around into something positive. So for right now I am choosing to exercise, do some reading and meditation today and leave the last two day's behind as the future has yet to arrive and I can only work for today.

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624 kcal

Fat: 9.79g | Prot: 22.22g | Carb: 108.28g.   Breakfast: Blackberries, Lamagna Ricotta Cheese, Bananas, Pepperidge Farm Whole Grain 100% Whole Wheat Bread. Dinner: Spinach, Salmon Salad, Oranges, Tabouleh mix wheat salad. more...