Annabelle3117's Journal, 02 July 2014

It's frustrating, I understand. I've encountered a lot of people like this in my life, too. You lead by example, Yolanda. She may never see that, and you can't save them all. When I try to lure people to join FS, you are one of the examples I tell them about in regards to success in a weight-loss and healthy lifestyle. You have a lot of followers...so just because this ONE doesn't want to listen to you, know that you've helped SO MANY more simply by being YOU. 

At least you tried. She has to learn to accept help, when it is offered in good faith. It's her loss.  

And should she lose, she will gain back everything plus some. Sad. But the girl isn't ready. Just make sure you rock it at the wedding.  

You can't reason with some people. Maybe some day she will come to you and explain that she is jealous of you and couldn't bring herself to take you offer of friendship and help. I would assume that is the real problem that she has. Maybe she will figure it out and take your help in the future. I think it just takes getting to the point where you are really ready. 

For some people, it seems a "diet" is about sacrifice and being miserable. It's something they do 3 or 4 times a year. If life isn't awful or hideously expensive, they're not doing it right. And every new diet they find is THE ONE. Until she's ready to find a sane approach, this is probably what she'll continue to do.  

If she ever seeks your help make sure you get your fee upfront. I mean it sounds like she has extra money to spare. You can guide her through a program that will work and benefit her health. You need money and she needs help. And think of all the bonding. :P  

Again - Egg Whites = POINTLESS!  

I think its a shame and I am sure so frustrating for you especially if you are offering to help and just have to continually watch the different diet crazes that just never work for her. Its a shame she won't let you help. I go to my SIL all the time because she is a health nut... and maybe I don't do everything like her, but I take things in from her that I can utilize for me. It sounds like she wants and instant-fix and I think like so many of us know - there is not a magic transformation button. It is real changes in life and habit and it takes time and dedication. I wish you luck!! 

I understand. My parents and brother are morbidly obese and don't want me to say anything to them at all about weight, food, and exercise. My brother had a heart attack last year and he has continued on the same path of uncontrolled eating and has gained so much it hurts him to walk. I am very frustrated, but I have to Let Go and Let God, another one of my favorite motivational quotes. 

Looks like she must have already eaten all the egg yolks before taking the picture??? :) 

Following in Chica's path... send her a brochure on weight loss, quote a fee and send her diet information and daily food plans. There's your 2 years' tuition!  

Then have to ask myself if future husband likes his women big?  

Gotta tell you that pic is disgusting to me:)because I soooo hate boiled egg whites but some people love 'em. No, she is not ready, and she may be a drama diet queen "Look at what horrendous diet I'm on Now!" You did your good deed by offering your help! And That Is AweSome! 

Look at it this way....as a person who has lost 150 pounds and has had people when I was at my heaviest offer to help me. I always said no. Not because I wasn't smart, not because I wasn't aware of what they had accomplished. No, no honestly it was because I was VERY aware of what they had done, and it scared me. What if they gave me their plan for success and I failed at it like everything else? What if I did what they told me to do and I couldn't make it work. That would have made me the biggest of failures and losers. So I always said no. Not because I didn't see value in what was offered but because I was terrified i could not make it work. That's all.  

Thank you guys for the comments!! @Chica, "the bonding" you really had me rolling there lmao!! I will most definitely charge a fee, seeing as how she loves spending her future husbands money!! @Classicrocker I don't think my BIL likes the ladies large, as he pays an awful lot more attention to me now that I'm smaller lol. 

You would think that too (taking advice from a loser like you, LOL) but the first four times I lost 100+lbs it was half healthy, and half really screwed up. It's hard to know what plan the person REALLY is following... hence why I'm still very reticent to brag about my loss or offer help to anyone this time around because I fight the urge to return to my eating disorders every day ... like.. it's 2pm now and I haven't eaten yet... I'm not hungry.. I'm still trying to regain my balance on mindful eating, EWYL, and all that. That's too bad she has all that money to waste chasing magic beans and none of it's getting her the stalk she wants (sorry .. lost in my metaphor) and I totally agree w/Chica. Perhaps she's one of those 'you get what you pay for' type thinkers and feels your free advice isn't worthy like .. yeah.. JC and those other plans. Offer to package up her food for her .. make a mint. Charge her a zillion dollars for that special boiled egg. Laugh about the banana.. last thing she should be eating w/protein (all that sugar) .. I dunno. I'm lost and rambling because I can't seem to make my way onto my own journal today. I recall reading recently that 'weight loss' is one of the biggest groups you can belong to ... instant acceptance as we all.. regardless of our size.. feel the need to bash our bodies and weight. She may have done it so long she doesn't realize but hasn't gone into denial. Like any other compulsion she may need a rock bottom to turn it around. Just take pride in yourself and figure out a way to stop looking at her face book :-) I'll shut up...............NOW. 

Ooops - I lied .. one last comment.. if that were my meal for the day .. I'd be eating it off china or crystal. Enjoy SOMEthing! 

Love ya' Bella. A good ramble helps a soul. You go girl. 

I think Alex_is_Hawks makes a good point. Failure becomes familiar and comfortable, even if it's unpleasant most of the time. :( Hopefully Yolanda, you can tune out her noise. I am glad that you've had success and the courage to strive for it. Take care! 

*Hopefully it's clear that the "her" in my previous comment was your future SIL, not anyone commenting here.*