jsfantome's Journal, 22 June 2013

In the last month or so (as I approached the one year anniversary of my Mom's death...and the reality that I was gaining still) - I started looking for answers.

I didn't think I was depressed. I don't think most people who ARE depressed actually recognize that they are... (officially, anyway.)

Do any of you remember 'Kate' ?? Well, she was a young woman who, like Kingkeld, lost a large amount of weight... around 125lbs. She transformed herself, literally. And she was a proponent of healthy eating, actually I think she was a vegetarian...and working out, etc... calorie counting was her method. Well, I recently got a copy of her new blog...and she is gaining. And very accepting. I am not judging her...just surprised at how easily she just wants to accept it.

I don't want to justify this weight gain. For all the reasons I wanted to lose in the first place... I still want this weight to be gone.

But this time - I will be my own BEST cheerleader! THIS TIME - as much as I want each of you to succeed - I need to figure this out for ME!

I refuse to do the hard work...all over again... and ever be back in this place of 'just accepting' I will always be overweight. No! No I won't.

Stubborn is my greatest quality at the moment :)

Thanks for being so understanding...and loving...and caring! It means the world to me...

One day at a time...and yesterday, was a good day!
Much Love!!!
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Glad that yesterday was good for you! Wishing you a great Day 2. Now, only if you are ready, may I suggest you weigh in? I say this because when you do start losing again it is a source of encouragement to see the chart go back down again (at least it works for me). I wish I'd had something like FS in the past so I could trace my "ups and downs" over the years. Hopefully there will be no more "ups" for both of us!  
22 Jun 13 by member: BuffyBear
hope today is good too. 
22 Jun 13 by member: rockytu
So glad you are on here again, that's a start sweetie. One day at a time, one meal at a time, one bite at a time. One my newer buddies - Ruhu - has that philosophy - you might want to look at her journals (not sure if she is private or not) but she is definitely a one bite at a time lady. Just being here hopefully with give you inspiration and motivation. Weight is just one part of your life and we are constantly figuring it out, we are never 'done'. Welcome 'home' Paula. 
22 Jun 13 by member: sarahsmum
Yes, I am the "one day at a time" lady, right with you Paula! And, I have to remind myself every day of that -- you must have noticed, Isabel:)! Glad yesterday was a good one. Stubbornly determined to be healthy... I love that!  
22 Jun 13 by member: Ruhu
Ah......I'm hearing just the faint hints of the "old" Paula coming back (50 is absolutely, positively NOT old!). I've missed you much since you've been away so I'm very happy you're back. Looking forward to WHATEVER is going on with you ANYTIME! Many hugs.... :) 
22 Jun 13 by member: Sandy701

     
 

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