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Monday - and I've got nothing to say. Well, I've always got plenty to say but nothing interesting, humorous or inspiring. But here goes.
I wish the SUN would freaking get out from behind the clouds and stay out, for pete's sake. Cloudy overcast days leave me feeling dismal and unmotivated. Today has been uncharacteristically slow business wise too so far too much time spent watching the clock hands.
My art supplies arrived. To be more accurate, my TEASE of art supplies arrived. Everything but the brushes. That's fine ~ need to sketch out my first painting.
Food and eating. I can't figure out if I've finally found peace with 'everything in moderation' or if I'm still living in a house of cards.
I'm not being facetious ~ I'm reflective. Every single time I lost weight in the past I thought then too 'I got this'. Failure is indeed a great teacher and a humble reminder.
Maybe this time... from this journal to God's ear...
Bella
Diet Calendar Entries for 20 May 2013:
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1960 kcal
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Fat: 103.14g | Prot: 99.65g | Carb: 160.57g.
Breakfast: Parmesan Cheese (Grated), Butter, Egg, Baby Spinach, Bacon. Lunch: Refried Beans (Canned), Pork Loin (Country-Style Ribs), Mission Flour Tortilla (Burrito Size). Snacks/Other: Bananas, Smart Balance All Natural Rich Roast Creamy Peanut Butter, Stonyfield Farm Oikos Organic Plain Greek Yogurt, Schwan's Triple Berry Blend. more...
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 Comments
You've come so far, my wonderful friend, and as dedicated as you are, to not just the # on the scale but your physical & mental health.... I think you are on to something... Really, I know you are! Xoxox
20 May 13 by member: Ruhu
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Too bad about the brushes not arriving with the rest of the supplies. As for the eating and figuring it all out... I think as we get older and wiser and have been down the road as many times as we have, our chances of success increase because we've done every mistake out there (and more than once!) so the odds that we can learn from our mistakes rises incrementally. That's my story and I'm stickin' to it!
20 May 13 by member: evelyn64
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Mornin Bella Dahlink:
Mega ditto to the sentiments of each of the previous posters! All I can add is let's just "Keep On Keeping On" and remember to enjoy ourselves along the way :)))))))
Looking forward to seeing your first painting...it's certain to be a masterpiece.
Make it a good day, I promise to do the same!
21 May 13 by member: Yeux Lumineux
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Slow days and dreary days make things extra difficult.. hope you managed to stay on track!
21 May 13 by member: Bkeller1023
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Hi Bella, slow days are the worst, I have slow days most days so I hear you. I do hope you have got 'this thing' figured out, and then you can pass on your secret.
21 May 13 by member: sarahsmum
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I hear ya. Something in the back of my mind is telling me I'm going to fail again. I refuse to listen!
21 May 13 by member: meganbarkley
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I must of missed a past journal, you're starting to paint? Or your going back to painting again? Very exciting!! You'll have to share!
21 May 13 by member: Rubie-sue
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Hi Bella!!! Iknow what you mean about cloudy and overcast days. They make me feel the same way which is why being here is such a perk for me most days although that tropical storm season is coming and I will be losing my mind then. lol Too bad about those brushes but that will give you time to spend on your sketching. I think as far as the food and eating we are all living the same way...it is just based on too many things and most of them feelings of which mine change constantly lol...I don't think there is any answer..just to do the best we can and when we screw up to keep trying...just always being aware is probably the best thing...never becoming complacent.. Happy Tuesday Bella hope the sun is out!
21 May 13 by member: chattycathy1955
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Bella, agree with chattycathy. Don't get complacent. When you let your guard down that's when it starts to creep up on you. You've done amazing. Just keep in mind how great you feel in a nice pair of jeans and shopping in regular stores and your energy level. It's all worth it. Hope the sun is shining on you today.
21 May 13 by member: cjmurph
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Thanks everyone - I know, one day at a time, stop worrying about anything beyond that. I must remind myself success is getting up one more time than falling down. Painting is new; I stumbled across this a week ago and really enjoyed it so I thought I'd explore it ~ hopefully I won't do too much damage.
21 May 13 by member: FullaBella
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Failure certainly does serve a great heaping of humble pie, but like you said it also is a great teacher. You know why you allowed yourself to gain back the weight, so you know what not to do this time. You are wiser and I have every confidence that you will succeed if you want it more than overeating. It really is that simple, not easy, but simple.
21 May 13 by member: Josie Ann
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I know - should be simple - but if it were, we wouldn't be here now, would we? Awareness is key, complacency will be a killer, focus is crucial and all the rest needs to be sorted out.
21 May 13 by member: FullaBella
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Losing weight and maintaining it is very linear. It's what goes through between our ears that make this simple task so very difficult to accomplish and retain. Like you said complacency will derail any kind of goal you wish to achieve, and without focus the willpower and motivation will not be strong enough to build mental toughness.
21 May 13 by member: Josie Ann
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I hate my brain right now - I had the most enlightening comment about this very topic this morning ~ but now I can't recall it. Something along the lines of 'No, I'm not trying to be skinny.. I'm just trying to be light and healthy.' Dang, it made sense. Was something to do with someone asking 'how much more do you intend to lose?' and I said 'I have no idea, that's up to my body and what it decides.' I know I do NOT want to gain weight because it does take a toll on me physically and that takes a toll mentally. I'm trying so very hard to NOT make this about the number on the scale or size of the jeans ~ that what will be will be as long as I'm doing what I'm supposed to do, as in eating mindfully regarding portions and nutrition, the weight and size will settle somewhere and I'll be at peace. I don't know when it'll get there; I just have to stay patient and do my part.
21 May 13 by member: FullaBella
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