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I was dog-shamed yesterday by a misogynistic brick mason.
Acting upon a grapevine rumor that a construction crew was trespassing and using my warehouse for a trampoline I decided to grab my Nikon and take Mdog for a walk.
The vet calls Mdog 'a furry footstool'. She is my sweet little mushy faced baby who is literally the only thing in life that manages to make me smile every single day. She's also a fairly decent watchdog in that she only barks when someone is at the door.
Excited to be out in the sunshine (both of us) she pulled ME along the sidewalks on the way over. Unlike her mommy though, she's not yet learned to pace herself so she was already panting hard by the time we reached the warehouse.
If you're still reading but wondering 'Bella, what the heck does ANY of this have to do with FatSecret, losing weight, exercise or health?' well, it's because I have recognized, finally, that in order to be healthy I have to be observant and appreciate there's more going on with my body than the number on the scale.
Seven months ago I would NOT have voluntarily walked that two block journey to the warehouse; I would likely driven OR if walked, would have had to stop and rest to catch my breath at least twice. Even in the winter I would have been soaking wet with perspiration (because, here in the south, women don't sweat, we glow, and I'd have been glowing like a horse.) And my back and leg would have been aching so bad I'd have needed a couple of coedine and a cocktail of tylenol and ibuprofen to get through the rest of the day.
But not yesterday. So that's the health, exercise, weight loss part of this story. Back to the brick mason though.
Aggravated to discover the rumor was accurate as evidenced by scaffolding illegally attached to my building and a lift bucket setting on the roof, I began snapping away. I used the camera too.
A bricklayer pointed at me, walked over, and asked ever so courteously, "What the hell do you think you're doing?"
I stood there in my usual longshoreman attire (black turtleneck, long sleeve denim shirt, jeans & boots) and tried to straighten my back enough to gather a couple of more inches on my 5'2" frame and answered, 'Who are you?'
He explained who he was; I explained I was the owner of the building, hoping to see a look of shock or at the very least, remorse for getting CAUGHT.
But, no! He gave me that up & down the frame look that shared: 'I stand women like you up on dates', snorted 'Cute Dog', and sauntered away.
Of all days, I had her in her pink halter and lead yesterday. Damn.
Seriously, though... 'Cute Dog?' That growling sound emitting from my direction was 'me' because I looked down to discover Mdog had decided to drop and take a nap on the sunny warm sidewalk.
It took every ounce, no, GRAM of reserve I had to not go all 'Joe Pesci ala Goodfellas' on that jerk. "Oh, do I amuse you, is dat it? You 'tink I'm amusing? You 'tink I'm here for your enjoyment?'
But as I tried to walk after him, my furry little footstool refused to budge. It's hard to be aggressive with a lap dog holding you back.
Oh what I wouldn't have given to have a rottweiler or pit-bull right then. Not that they're mean dogs. They don't have to be. They get by on reputation alone.
Then again, MDog probably kept me out of trouble because she looked up at me with her mushy faced expression of calmness and reminded me, "Mommy, don't get mad, get even.'
She is so wise.
So despite three burly contruction guys walking toward me with huge wrenches in their hands, I continued to snap away. Again, with the camera too.
Then I calmly tugged my little furry footstool home and called the police. Well, first I called my roofer to investigate and determine the full scale of the damage to the roof. Interesting, my warehouse didn't have a skylight before; now it has three.
Then I phoned the police to file a trespassing report. And this time I took a uniformed officer with me. He may not be a rottweiler or pitbull but he carries a sidearm and a taser. This time the 'crew' magically remembered the contractor's name and phone number.
I spoke to the contractor on the phone, shared my displeasure at the trespassing, and asked him to cease and desist any and all access on my building until we sort this out. I'm expecting him at 10a.m. It's 9:59 as I compose this. Stay tuned.
PS - in case you missed it in my subtle story telling I walked to the warehouse a second time with Officer Taser. Twice in one day - would not have been possible seven months ago. OT was probably 6'4" and had the legs to match - keeping up with him at his pace .. was ... well... pretty dang cool.
Well, didn't get a chance to post this first because despite Mh's prediction 'betcha the slimy little weasle won't show', he did. The head contractor and Mr. Bricklayer both came, hard hats in hand at 10am on the dot.
Am I force to be reckoned with or what?
Brickman opened by making another crack about my dog; I took a deep breath and was about to release my best Pesci but MH went into Godfather mode. (Can you tell we watch a lot of movies around Bellawood?)
Don Corleone sat in the recliner, even doing the raspy voice, 'after all these years, after all I've done for you, this is how you repay me? By disrespecting my building....'
I was standing, leaning against the wall, arms crossed, trying to look menacing, ready to pounce but fighting off a laugh. Somewhere mid conversation I looked directly at Brickguy and said 'keep your crew OFF my roof until I talk to my lawyer.' I hated overriding the Don like that but I was on the verge of a giggle-fest.
My lawyer is out of the country (I have such great timing) for two weeks. I'm trying to reach co-counsel to get some sort of ' release Bella of all liability and you're gonna pay through the nose to fix my building' legal CMA filed but until then, no one should be on my roof.
That's too bad too because they have a lift rented and I know those things aren't cheap. So this is gonna cost them some coin.
Too bad... you never shoulda brought my dog into it...
Bella
Diet Calendar Entries for 08 March 2013:
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1168 kcal
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Fat: 42.33g | Prot: 124.27g | Carb: 71.53g.
Breakfast: Sauerkraut Libby, Spinach, Swiss Cheese, Egg. Lunch: Celery, Sauerkraut, Starkist Chunk Albacore. Dinner: Cucumber, Starkist Albacore Tuna, Sartori, Campbell's Chicken Broth. Snacks/Other: Triple Berry Schwan, Golden Blend Schwans, Cottage Cheese 4%. more...
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