momma6224's Journal, 18 June 2018

I've had this, its really sickeningly upsetting when those closest to you set out to sabotage you and act out when you start to achieve your goals. I've had it from family from friends from colleagues. Just keep your chin up, although its disappointing and tough. Don't let them drag you down. Its really just their petty jealousies and fear. They pretend its concern, when actually people you don't know say you look great and ask about your workouts and meals?? Its sooo hurtful, its like they try to steal your achievement and hard work from you.. instead of being happy for you.  

I know it is hard, but try not to let it get to you!!! You are boss and doing what is good for you!!! 

Your success is likely making them feel threatened. I know it hurts when it comes from folks that are supposed to be your biggest supporters. I've had to deal with such things, albeit for different circumstances. A lot of men start feeling insecure about themselves when their wives lose weight, get in shape, look great. They're worried someone else is going to take notice! But like others have said, you take pride in yourself for a job well done! You are very close to your goal and appear to have gained very little for a week of indulgence, which is great! Don't let others steal your motivation. Turn it around and let their ugliness recharge your motivation. You look fantastic and you will always have us here on FS to cheer you on! 

Let it roll off Your shoulders Momma. Not worth thinking about. Yep even spouses can be less than supportive. Mine insists I’m putting her out cause she thinks she needs to cook differently although I’ve said consistently I’ll eat anything just less. OR I’ll cook for both of us! Oh no that can’t happen..... LOL. Knock out that last pound and strut your stuff! Good shedding! 😜 

I think we are a supportive community Cause we go through the same struggle 

People get irritated cause (I believe) we watch what we eat (hubbies) n family cause they wish they had the will power to do the same 

be strong! you can make it! 

Validation comes from within. Stay focused on yourself. You can only control you. Let the haters hate 

This saddens me to read this. From what I know of you, you are a strong, sweet, intelligent young woman. That the support is not there for you, only speaks about them, not you. Of course you already know this. The same has happened to me, from time to time. The most important time was when I got cancer and my husband really had a problem being nice to me, at first. I had to sit him down, tell him I couldn't hold his hand through this one and whether he stepped up or not, I had to focus on myself and he had to figure out what and how he was going to handle me being sick. Not the same thing as your situation, but sometimes spouses get scared when the other is moving in a different direction and they don't what or know how to express that fear or vulnerability. I sure hope you soon receive the support you deserve and have earned. In the meantime, make sure you are your own best friend, show others how good you are to yourself, hopefully they will catch on and start treating you with the love and respect that you are entitled to. Sending you love. <3  

dont worry about anyone else, do it for you 

I’m sorry you have to deal with that 🙁 it’s so discouraging! It sounds like they aren’t comfortable with change. Maybe they even see how strong you are and feel that they must be weak. Ya never know but You are doing fantastic! Get right back to it! 

Momma6224, were your close family members nice to you before you lost weight? I found the mean stay mean and the nice stay nice. 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️ 

Feel your pain - I think we all go through this because of our past food history / just do a little to satisfy your wants and just go back on your journey / no harm no foul just life - I think I get cocky and say I can eat this and that and get the weight back off but back and forth too much brings on depressing thoughts - look back 6 months and see where you were - I think you are getting happy again - also good to share pain with loved ones because they don't want to see you suffer -Thanks for the support YOU CAN DO IT  

Hang in there! This change is for you! Not for your family members, not even for your husband! Keep rocking! Keep doing you! Each day is a new day and each victory is a brick in the wall of discipline! Keep up the great work! Ultimately, you’re showing your kids that you are strong and not will defeat you! Don’t give up on yourself!!! 

After reading more, this ain't easy and some don't aporeciate it because they don't undrrstand your journey - build on anything g positive you csn -  

The unfortunate truth is that it is only the rarest of friends and family who truly want you to become a better person. Self improvement is, by definition, a selfish endeavor. This often means cutting people loose and/or establishing some new boundaries that allow you the space you will need to grow. The good news is that this is a challenge only for those who are successful at bettering themselves. Live the new standard to which you aspire, not the old standard with which others may be more comfortable. Good luck!  

Oh hun I deal with the same but the ‘close’ ones advise me then drop it when they can tell they can’t budge me. Hubby is constantly irritated because I hold myself accountable by logging everything except gum. If I can’t at least make a guess as to what to put in the app I don’t eat it. He feels this is restricting him and my kids but they can eat however much they like. We can’t go out and eat certain foods but we didn’t before anyway. They just want to go twice a week since my diet where we went once every other month before. Even yesterday I received two lectures saying I was too ‘skinny’ now even holding an extra 20# and how I shouldn’t be restricting everyone else because I weigh and measure my food. Other bring their own meals so I will too next time. They can either deal with my logging or with me bringing my own. Get irritated with THEM not you. And your motivation will come back after you force yo self a bit like you are and some positivity around you. Bring your worries and stress to us here and we will support you as best we can! 

Jimmiepop - you hit the nail on the head. I’ve found the same thing—when one works hard to make positive changes, it seems that only the most open minded, flexible, truest of friends and family stick by and are supportive. The rest get put out or try to sabotage the effort. The sad truth is, many people are super uncomfortable with change. They live within the illusion that if everything stays the same they have control. And like you said, positive changes bring clearer boundaries and time for yourself. Some people who may be used to getting what they want whenever they want, get irritated. But it’s important to seek that self improvement, to create positive changes for physical, emotional and spiritual wellness, because the healthier a person gets, the more they can give back to the world effectively and authentically. 

Momma you don’t know it but I’ve just heard some so true stuff I needed to hear from LaughAtCabage and JimmiePop I really needed a word on! Thanks for sharing y’all! Good words! Be Blessed! 

You are a strong lady. You have proved that by reaching your goals and taking care of your family. There is always going to be resistance to change and friends will be a bit jealous. Hubby should come around :) if no one makes a big deal of food choices. There is a difference between a vanity diet to lose a few pounds and a WOE. Of course, you do you, whatever makes you happy.