ukeranian

I was born skinny. Tonsil surgery at age 10 changed that. I've been battling obesity ever since. I won the battle of the bulge at ages 21 and 33 and now, I hope to be at goal again at age 56.

My top weight was over 300 at age 45. I wouldn't step on the scale after that until I knew I was lower than 300. I hated my picture being taken, I hid behind other people for pictures -- and once I even hid behind a pillar and you still could see me on both sides of the pillar! I was embarrassed and disgusted with myself for letting myself get that fat.

I've tried Professional Weight Control, Fit for Life, Weightwatchers, TOPS and once I stop, I go back to gaining. I have to face it, I can't do it alone. I need support.

My biggest challenge is my husband. He loves to have junk in the kitchen (I'm talking chocolate bars, chips, cookies). He doesn't eat them but he was poor as a child and I suspect he went hungry sometimes and he is determined that nobody will go hungry in his home. Unfortunately, alot of this stuff ends up in the garbage when it gets old. I'm trying to train him not to buy the stuff in the first place. So far, he hasn't bought a bag of chips in a month. :D

He needs to lose about 40 lbs and when I diet, he does too, so I get to have an in-house buddy. He does try to help me, but when I get close to goal, I think he is afraid that some other guy will nab me because that's when the sabotaging starts. Which is strange, because he met me when I was looking my best at age 33 at 155 lbs and we had instant attraction. However, he married me when I turned 44 at 240 lbs. I know he tends to look at heavier women more than at the skinny ones.

But when I get to goal again (it's 165-175 lbs this time around) I'll deal with the psychological aspects of the relationship then.