|
Bear with me, if you will, I just need a place to vent that my family cannot get to and read. I know that you are all a supportive and understanding group of wonderful people, so I came here to let it out.
I bought the exercise bike that I wanted. My boss even delivered it to my house for me. I live with my in-laws, because of financial reasons, we are unable to get our own place. So, my plan with this bike was to put it in the breezeway, which is a little room between the side door and the garage. It is not air conditioned or heated, its just a roof and 4 walls. Right now, we have a standing deep freezer in there. There is more than enough room for this bike. It would be out of the way, I wouldnt be bothering anyone with my music or my incessant crying because exercise sucks, it was perfect. I was so excited. Until I get home from work yesterday...
Well, apparently, while I was at work, my sister in law decided that she didnt want the bike in the breezeway, she wanted it in her bedroom. That AND my elliptical, which is stuffed in a corner and I cannot get to it or I would have been using the past month. She wants them both moved into her room so that she can move my nieces out into the family room where their mom sleeps (my house is over crowded and ridiculous, long long story).
I was raised by a very strict mother, she would not allow us to walk into others bedrooms without direct permission. If you knocked and the person was not in the room, it didnt matter what was in there that you needed, or if the darn room was on fire, you were not to go in there. My sister in laws bedroom has one door for the jack and jill bathroom we share and sometimes she forgets to unlock my side, and LEAVES!! I have to run upstairs to use the guest bathroom because part of me is so scared that if I walk through hers, my mother is going to pop out and scream at me for being in a room that isnt mine without permission. I am an adult and have this weird hang up.
So now, the two pieces of exercise equipment that I bought, are going to be in a room that I dont even want to go in!! I dont feel comfortable in her room, I dont belong in there. I would put it in my room, but my husband and I got the smaller of the two rooms and we have a bigger bed and more furniture, but because her name is on the lease, not ours, she got the choice of the better room. I am just so frustrated. I told my husband last night, and he told me I was being silly and that she wont care if I am in there. And writing it all out, does seem kind of silly, but if anyone here grew up with ultra strict parents, then you understand that stigma and fear that it puts in you, even in your adult life.
I am just frustrated and my inclination is to eat when I am feeling like this, so I wanted to write it all out and get it out of me. There is a guy who buys books from my company, and he is here right now and ALWAYS brings pastries with him, so there is a box of chocolate chip muffins like 4 feet from me and I am dying to eat them all!! I am tired of living there! I am just so frustrated. I am not going to eat the muffins, I dont even really want them, but, my emotional eating habit is raging back like an unwanted ex. Uggg!!!
Gonna be a good day....gonna be a good day....gonna be a good day....
Diet Calendar Entries for 09 February 2018:
|
1718 kcal
|
Fat: 123.32g | Prot: 113.31g | Carb: 23.79g.
Lunch: Wendy's Baconator Double (No Bun). Dinner: Meat Pizza Topping. Snacks/Other: Jack Link's Beef Pepperoni Sticks, Frigo Cheese Heads Original String Cheese. more...
|
|
5501 kcal
|
Activities & Exercise:
Desk Work - 8 hours, Driving - 30 minutes, Resting - 7 hours and 30 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
|
|
1 to 20 of 31
 Comments
Don’t you dare give in. It’s going to be okay! You can handle this. You’re stronger than you think.
09 Feb 18 by member: AlwaysGrateful
|
I had strict parents, and I understand the not wanting to go into someone else’s room. As a kid I was rarely in my parents bedroom.
Maybe explain to her why you’d like the bike out of her room. Maybe you guys can compromise. I am very non confrontational, so this situation would be tricky for me, but maybe explaining how you haven’t been using the elliptical because you can’t access it, so you intentionally bought the bike for the Breezeway knowing there was enough room for it.
Also DO NOT EAT THE MUFFINS!!
09 Feb 18 by member: mamamc7
|
Question: Has not entering in a room without permission ever helped you to lose weight? If the answer is no, then you get on your elliptical or your bike and sweat, grunt, throw up if you have to but don't have another excuse to not get healthy. You know that STUPID Mt. Dew commercial? The guy is in some racing gear and the song is, "nothing can stop you, cuz I'm all the way up". That is you, you got this.
09 Feb 18 by member: bizzybee38
|
I so agree with Bee. She moved YOUR property without YOUR permission. I would be knocking on her door while she is sound asleep until she got up and let me use My equipment, or retuned it to its original location.
09 Feb 18 by member: Elena Midnight
|
I understand your frustration. What does she say about it? Let me tell you, I keep moving furniture around in my house so my life will become perfect, so maybe the SIL has the same subconscious thing going on. Do not eat the muffins. Talk to your SIL think of it like you and she are going to make things better if you work out the best spot for the equipment and figure out a solution that will help both of you. Try to listen more than talking about what is good just for you. If you can get your mom out of your head over this one thing, maybe it will help you move on in other ways too, though.
09 Feb 18 by member: abbadabba
|
Hopefully, all are consenting adults. Your mother needs to move on.... Your sister-in-law is more than welcome to use the equipment where ever and so are you.. Is there a specific time frame so that you can gain access to the room. Also, have a spare key outside of the bathroom door. I view this as a control issue. AND stay away from the pastries, you are stronger than they are!!!
09 Feb 18 by member: clay pot baker
|
I can relate to stigmas like that. ...and being an adult living with other adults is also something I can relate to.
When you're fighting a battle with your own psyche to lose weight while ALSO fighting 'political' battles and stigmas in order to be able to do something about your weight, it just makes everything more difficult. ...but it's a challenge you sound like you're strong enough to overcome. ...starting with going into her room to workout! (esp if she doesn't even mind) :-D
09 Feb 18 by member: alowe82
|
Return it and get a gym membership. Family can be so crazy!
09 Feb 18 by member: peppy_roni
|
First off don't use food you know it doesnt help!
Your dealing in a power struggle with an Alpha female, tred lightly but stay strong.
What does the owner of the house say? Would you be willing to politely discuss this with her. If she is still determined you and your husband need to move it. It is Your property afterall. Just try to be civil I know your upset now but keep the peace till you find your own place, good luck Sweetie!
09 Feb 18 by member: 8Patty
|
When I was about 20, something like this happened to me, so I understand your frustration. (Some people moved MY property from the room *I* was renting while I was gone for the day simply because they wanted that space!) You can let it drive you to distraction, or you can find a solution that keeps the peace. This may be incredibly difficult, but in the long run, you will benefit. Remember your goals. Remember that most of all, we support what brings you the weight loss you seek.
09 Feb 18 by member: moogiemynes
|
I think it's pretty unbelievable that your SIL moved YOUR bike into her space without discussing it with you. You have to have a conversation with her about the location of the bike and your need to have access to your exercise equipment. The muffins are the devil....
09 Feb 18 by member: Tinkerbell101
|
Just go in the room and use the equipment and if anyone bitches at you just yell at them full force and be like “FUCK OFF IM EXERCISING YOU BITCHES!”
Boom done 😎
09 Feb 18 by member: DEADPOOL12345
|
I didn’t know this app auto censors cuss words... It’s smart but stupid at the same time 🤣
09 Feb 18 by member: DEADPOOL12345
|
Thank you everyone!! The dynamic of that household is so messed up, and was long before I came along, and I feel for my husband who seems to be stuck in the middle all the time. I feel like this is one time that I shouldnt have to give in and let them walk on me, I need to stand up and say "no, I paid for it, I pay rent and I deserve some consideration" but I know I have to come about it calmly or nothing will get accomplished. Thank you all!!
09 Feb 18 by member: Klynn82
|
OR buy you one of those free standing "gazebo" tents with the side panels, put it up out back. Move BOTH pieces of your equipment out there. and if you disturb anything of theirs while reclaiming your own property (pile it on their beds :) :), let them handle it. You will need to wear you long johns, but that's better than letting others hoard your belongings.
09 Feb 18 by member: SheaDlady
|
Klynn, I think you need to talk directly with your sister-in-law and ask her how she feels about you going into her room to use the exercise equipment. From my reading of the story it appears she may have made the decision based no attempting to accommodate so many family members. If you could get explicit permission from her to into her room when she is not in there to use the exercise equipment, would that make you feel better? She may not be aware she is causing you so much stress - because your husband (I assume her brother) said "she won't care" if you're in there. They may have been brought up differently than you and are used to a communal property feeling in the house - without room boundaries. Just some thoughts - I could be WAY off base... (: Good luck to you.
09 Feb 18 by member: KellyD1220
|
Agree with everyone above. As far as the bathroom door, if it is a standard indoor fixture from the 70's on, using a paperclip in the little hole in the middle will unlock the bathroom door and no one will be the wiser. Just push it in and push the button inside. And if you can work on a plan to get yourself out of that house eventually, you need to do it. Sometimes being away from family makes them a lot more tolerable.
09 Feb 18 by member: Katsolo
|
Use the equipment in her room until she is so sick of seeing you she will put it back. Go in while she is sleeping or with a boyfriend. Lock her out of the bathroom. Show her the same respect she shows you. She will continue her behavior towards you as long as you let her.
09 Feb 18 by member: Chessire
|
Hang in there - I have my mother in law moved in now and most of my or our misunderstandings are from noncommunication - I would ask your sister (in law), 1- what time you would like to work out or your options when she is not there , etc, 2 that you are not comfortable going in the room ( I think that you can overcome this because of the circumstances) 3 maybe write out on a sheet of paper a couple of things like remind to unlock bathroom door before leaving - leave on a place where everyone has access to see it - Use this experience to maybe break down a few walls - I totally understand the situation because I had a father in law sick for 10 years, we couldn't take a week vacation because we had to go to the hospital, but my mother in law had to deal with this also - This is the main reason I give her space and she gives me space. You made a positive effort to get the exercise epuipment, kudos to you, and just try to follow up with positive moves - If she comes back negative, try to spin it positive - Note , STEP AWAY FROM THE MUFFINS, CARRY GOOD FOOD WITH YOU - Whatever your diet can tolerate, carry dry with you or have a fridge at work hold your stuff - Action, reaction, action , reaction , and this is exactly a food issue also - You are growing and don't even know it yet - GO GREEN , YOU CAN DO IT, GOD BLESS
09 Feb 18 by member: johnwentzville
|
Sell the bike and move outta there! (I know life isn’t this easy, I’m just trying to make you smile!). Have a great day 🙂
09 Feb 18 by member: barbiedoll922
|
| |
|
|
| |
Submit a Comment
You must sign in to submit a comment
|
|
|
Other Related Links
Members
|
Klynn82's weight history
|