LadyinDenim's Journal, 10 October 2016

I just did my best to fill in my diet calendar for the past few days and I guess my bingeing wasn't as bad as I thought. I was thinking I would be way over calories.

Anyway, I am back on track. By a miracle of fate, a FS buddy was in town on the day when I needed weight loss advice. You know, we hear advice all the time. I know I do. Basically, I usually think I already know everything. Iamalwaysrightitis. Chronic condition.

But I was so desperate. I was a) eating nothing or b) eating out of control. I was going to eat half a jumbo pizza that night. I JUST got off the phone with my husband and told him to grab it on the way home, when she called and we went for a walk. So, I called him back and said, "Wait on the pizza. I am meeting my fatsecret buddy. Maybe this is what I need."

I told her I hadn't been logging my food, and I didn't log my weight gain that morning. She suggested FAT. I said, "But I'm not hungry. I just want to eat." She didn't back down. She said, FAT. She said, heavy cream. Almond butter. 90% chocolate. Brie cheese. She said, "Try it."

She was standing right in front of me, winning at weight loss, winning at life, being honest and present. I was at the bottom of my barrel. I tried it.

It worked.

I am beyond grateful to Erika, but I am more grateful to my Higher Power that I call The Universe for intervening on my behalf. (I mean, she could have posted she was traveling to the midwest, or to see her daughter, she didn't have to specify the city.) Anyway, I choose to believe that it was meant to happen on that day in that way.

And something else. I never, never, never ask for help. But this weight loss journey has humbled me so much. It has been so enriching spiritually, that I can honestly say I am grateful I spent so many years obese. I don't need to stay obese. I don't regret the pain I suffered, the lessons I learned. The lessons I continue to learn.

So, there it is. Me full of love and gratitude and I'm not even on Day 5 ;)

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1024 kcal

Fat: 85.24g | Prot: 47.79g | Carb: 15.69g.   Breakfast: Coffee. Dinner: Pork Chops (Center Loin, Bone-In, Cooked, Braised), Butter, Great Value Broccoli & Cauliflower. Snacks/Other: Equal Exchange extreme dark chocolate, Organic Valley Organic Cream Cheese, Now Foods P5P, Now Foods Zinc Picolinate, Spring Valley B6, Sundown Naturals Magnesium 500mg, Nature's Bounty Evening Primrose Oil. more...

2542 kcal

Activities & Exercise: Driving - 1 minute, Resting - 23 hours and 59 minutes. more...