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I don't know why I fall into the trap again and again; "The elderly parent trap".
Mom is doing pretty well while we are out; dr. appt., lunch with pleasant conversation about interesting topics, and then Boom! when we get back to her home she drops the bomb and asks me to be honest about why my nephew and sister don't call her back.
I must think that I can have a normal conversation about how wicked she can be to those closest to her, accusing loved ones of conjured up plots and deliberate actions to harm her. She calls my wife "evil" even, a woman who has amassed friends going back to elementary school to the present, to which all are loyal.
Anyway , I try to be very careful with my wording, but she always gets very defensive responding with spurious attacks on me and others. Deflection. She is very fearful about being labeled crazy, or having dementia and being shipped off somewhere.
I'm just trying to help her to get mentally healthy. What I need to do is get back into caretaker mode and not be invested in whatever the outcome is at any given time.
And spend more time on my own health and stress management.
Diet Calendar Entry for 17 March 2015:
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1747 kcal
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Fat: 135.88g | Prot: 90.97g | Carb: 37.94g.
Breakfast: Coffee (Brewed From Grounds), Heavy Cream, Jimmy Dean Fully Cooked Original Pork Sausage Patties. Snacks/Other: Planters Deluxe Mixed Nuts, Mt. Olive Kosher Dill Sandwich Stuffers, Celery, French's Classic Yellow Mustard, Roasted Broiled or Baked Chicken Breast, Hellmann's Mayonnaise with Extra Virgin Olive Oil. more...
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 Comments
Wow.... you don't need this as I'm sure you know. I guess many of us could come up with a variety of ways to deal with her, but you know her best. Yeah... think of yourself first.
17 Mar 15 by member: ClassicRocker
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Maybe even turn it around, what does SHE think it is? Maybe she can work her way around to seeing it eventually without you being the one to put it in words. Take care of you.... :)
17 Mar 15 by member: newnormal
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Don't know how old your mom is, but I can tell you this. If she IS starting dementia (which can come on slow or fast) there's no use in telling her so. It changes people's personalities drastically. My MIL is the ABSOLUTE sweetest person in the world, BUT, the natural aging process is causing her to be more testy, completely forgetful. For a question like the one she posed, just say, "mom, you'll need to call them to find out because I don't know." End it at that as pleasantly as possible. Then breathe.
17 Mar 15 by member: Chowdah
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