MrsTofu's Journal, 31 October 2014

Today I found out my estranged grandfather is terminally ill...and then my mom called me (from the [psychiatric] hospital she is currently staying at). My initial reactions are definitely not favorable, or speak well to my credit. Instead they betrayed a grumpus with eyes fixed on the dark clouds and a selfish child getting upset as if it were all designed as a personal assault against me. Part of a song came to mind also (though honestly it was only the first half of the first stanza, seeing the rest of the song was encouraging for me. I don't understand why things are this way, it seems like such a mess. However, at least ultimately things are working together for my good, especially when things don't feel good in the moment.):


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Update: The stuff my mom said is STILL getting to me (Saturday afternoon :( ). It looks the image I had within this journal entry was removed, I don't know why. It was a saved snipped image of the lyrics from a Matthew West song. ("Strong enough") I don't know if it was a glitch that deleted it or some moderator action and I feel too worn out to bother with reposting it, but I will try to look at it again for myself cuz I think I need that right now. At least this situation isn't going to last forever. 
01 Nov 14 by member: MrsTofu
So sorry that you are going through these times of uncertainty with your relatives. Try to stay strong and control your own foods and exercise to get as healthy as you can. You can do this much, even though you cannot control what happens to other people. Be well! 
01 Nov 14 by member: Deb_N
Take care of yourself and try to find your positive attributes. I am sorry about your Grandfather. 
01 Nov 14 by member: LadyBea40
Thanks. My dad and my sister both took time to listen to me. I know they understand what I am going through or at least care about me enough to listen and try to respond sympathetically if they can't relate as well to what I am facing. That is a great comfort.  
01 Nov 14 by member: MrsTofu
Hope things settle down for you soon. Family issues can be so stressful 
02 Nov 14 by member: wholefoodnut
My grandfather died. At present I am distracted by other trials, but I hope I get to see him in Paradise. I hope he didn't make the mistake of rejecting G-d because I was really anticipating getting to meet him one day. 
12 Nov 14 by member: MrsTofu
Take heart! You are in my prayers 
12 Nov 14 by member: 260Dee1
No words of comfort may help, but internet {{{Hugs}}} in hopes you feel God's comfort through the thoughts of others.  
12 Nov 14 by member: Hipaagrammy
If the song was removed it may be due to a copyright issue. Hope things are settling down a bit with your family. 
12 Nov 14 by member: wholefoodnut
That explanation sounds plausible, wholefoodnut, though it seems kind of frustrating and petty. I thought there was some sort of fair use clause for intellectual property; I'm not trying to claim ownership, I just wanted to have the lyrics posted because I felt they coincided with what I've been feeling and was trying to share them on that grounds. Unfortunately things have not improved or settled down really with my family. Stuff is still very messy. However I do appreciate that you and others who have taken the time to read and support my journal are thinking of me and wishing me well. Thank you guys! Far better to go through trials with friends and people who care than to face them alone! 
13 Nov 14 by member: MrsTofu

     
 

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