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TGIF it has been a long week. I still have work, as far as work as care giver for my mom, but at least I can relax a little.
I am so proud of myself for keeping with my woe last night. We went to dinner with my BFF and her mom, to a fav barbeque place. I asked questions about the specials and didn't feel intimidated to order just something. I had a side salad and 1/2 grilled chicken, the other side sweet potatoe I gave to my mom (her favorite) and I didn't eat ANY of the onion rings that my friend ordered for an appetizer. She did try to get me to eat 'just one' but I've already told her that I go to OA now and I am an obsessive compulsive addictive eater and can't eat just one and that even if I didn't binge at dinner I would on the way home and at home. So she seemed to respect my determination and didn't push beyond just a couple more hints for me to eat more. BUT I stood my ground. I didn't make a big deal of it, I didn't get defensive or upset or try to turn anything around. I just admitted my behavior and that is that! :-) WOW I didn't realize it was that easy, although "easy" is not really the right word. It wasn't really 'easy'. I still smelled the rings and watched them eat them and also they ate barbeque loaded with sauce, plus homemade banana pudding (I don't really care for it anyway) BUT I feel so much better that I know I can control this aspect in my life. I could not do it in the past, but now I CAN :-) Tomorrow will be another test, we are all going to the mall and she even said they are going to stop and get some giant pretzels, I again cannot eat one of those and stay true. So I'll bring one of my Atkins snack bars in case I feel the need. I normally keep those for my evening snack. Last night I didn't even need it! Also the 'test' will continue, we are going to a concert tomorrow night. Back years ago when we went out we would drink and snack all night, NO for me this time. BUT last night I must admit was the biggest test since I feel that it set the 'rule of behavior' for me and it is working! Tomorrow morning is my 3rd OA meeting and I feel so charged to be going. The people there are wonderful and so understanding.
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