FullaBella's Journal, 22 August 2013

Second Journal now that I have the Rant out of the way:

I'm continuing to pay tribute to my upcoming one year anniversary by sharing more tipping points that have helped me reach this first year with a little more sanity (food related that is, the rest of life still goes on) than on previous weight loss attempts.

"Food is my Friend, I just have to choose my Friends Wisely." This was a big one for me as I mentioned yesterday I've always considered food the enemy. This single simple sentence with the author's explanation was a turning point for me. Fresh, pure, unprocessed food was my good friend. The one I could trust to come if I asked for help or needed to talk to someone. Processed food was the wild child who always returned my car on empty or called me at 2 in the morning to come post bail.

Sometimes to fully drive that concept home I would assign actual 'people' images to the foods. At the time I read the book I was in a major feud with my half sister. When the leftover macaroni & cheese started calling me from the fridge while I soaked in the tub, I just pictured her head on the bowl of pasta. Mac & Cheese instantly lost it's allure.

The other connection that had a major impact on me was from the Eat What you Love book regarding meal portion sizes. Initially I embraced that concept with all the warmth of a barbed wire fence. I would still STUFF myself on huge servings of salads and mixed vegetables to the point my stomach would hurt. Anything to ensure I wouldn't feel hungry. And I would look at the total caloric makeup to justify that I was doing the right thing. Let's face it, a 10 gallon hat full of salad for less than 300 calories? What's the problem? In my opinion, the author was all wet.

But finally one day I danced around my bathroom like Eliza Doolittle. "I've got it! I've finally got it!" By overeating, even within the realm of my RDI allowance, I was still...... over eating. I was still separating good foods from bad foods. Even though I was being mindful about dense caloric foods like cheese, chocolate and butter I would always maintain a tendency to overeat when the fits hit the shan and emotional triggers kicked in because I was keeping my body accustomed to being overfull when I ate.

The concept that my stomach is only the size of my fist helped me adapt to portion sizes, including fresh vegetable salads and believe it or not, water. I would literally drink a liter bottle of water in one sitting and spend the next hour sloshing around like a ship at sea. I now drink no more than one pint of water at a time to avoid that overfull feeling. I do that about 10 times a day but I space it out.

Working on figuring out when I really was hungry took time. To stop eating when I was no longer hungry took a lot longer. I think I'm approaching about the six month mark on that the concept and am so grateful to have been positively affected by it. I've not binged out of control because my stomach just won't take it anymore. I get that 'oh my.. I'm going to explode' almost instantly.

These two concepts combined are what helped me be able to have one slice of pizza yesterday; instead of an entire pizza I would have eaten in the past. One slice eaten slowly and mindfully with a pint of water was plenty to satisfy my hunger (as I was cleaning up the kitchen) and craving for the great smell of pizza. I did not need to have a 'tuna lunch' to avoid wanting the pizza that I knew I'd probably go have anyway. I was fine.

As always, thank you for reading.

Bella







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Comments 
Dear Bella, this is brilliant insight!!! Thank you for pulling me up short. I'd been looking for "healthy" foods to "binge" on. It's never occurred to me before, and you're absolutely right, that binging of any sort, even on "healthy" foods, is in itself unhealthy. Oh, and thank you so much for writing about that "sloshy" feeling of drinking too much water at once. I have never been able to get into the whole 8-glasses-a-day thing. Drinking too much water has always made me feel queasy. So I've given up on the 8-glasses-a-day water tyranny. Now I drink 1, uno, o-n-e, glass of water first thing in the morning to wash down a couple of supplements, and then I don't worry about it. I may make improvements from there, but I've decided that's good enough for now. :) Big hugs to you! You're my inspiration! 
22 Aug 13 by member: Mary in LA
Mary - thank you and congratulations - you got it immediately where I argued it for months.  
22 Aug 13 by member: FullaBella
You have come so far, my Angel, and I am so in awe of you and all the progress you've made! I am slowly trying to follow in your amazing footsteps toward mindful, healthy eating & living. And even though our paths criss & cross each on its own way (mine with many detours & pot holes along the way), having you on this journey means so much to me! Xoxox 
22 Aug 13 by member: Ruhu
I just love the way you put faces on your foods. I think it's a great idea! I love the "Food is your friend, but choose your friends wisely" line. I'm gonna steal that one. And thank you for the reminds of how large (or rather, small) our stomachs are. Mind you, though, I have VERY large hands. ;) 
23 Aug 13 by member: kingkeld
Angel - thank you. You know, I think what is progress for me is really the same things you've known and done all along - keep your weight manageable, taking care of it at 2-3lbs instead of 100+ like me... but then again, we both struggle with the same issues. It's intriguing and keeps me thinking.  
23 Aug 13 by member: FullaBella
Keld - Thanks - one day, one method at a time, until we have such a huge bag of tools at the ready we have no excuse to fail. I went through my Kindle this morning to find the book from where *I* borrowed that (Food Friend) phrase as well but am still looking. Steal away :-) 
23 Aug 13 by member: FullaBella
At my weight loss class last week, the dietician printed off the first chapter of Eat what you love..., and we had a very good discussion about it. I understand more of your journal postings now. At some point I hope I can get to the mindful internal discussions you have. At this point in time it is still a struggle between the devil on one shoulder and the angel on the other.  
23 Aug 13 by member: cjmurph
These are such eloquent personal examples of how you've made a difference in your life. Congratulations. Over the past few months I've often thought of your journal entry about overeating the 10-gal hat of salad. I'm not quite there yet, but I feel myself approaching. Emotions still get the better of my belly from time to time but because of FS, I'm able to get back on track. Thanks, again, for compiling this...taking the time to honor your journey. Well done! 
23 Aug 13 by member: Sweet Ce
CJ - every positive change starts somewhere. There were many parts of her book I argued for months. I read chapter six online (mindful eating) and it had the FIRST positive change on me - how to really eat and enjoy food rather than just eating. Angel encouraged me to read the whole book and it took a while. So if you do get the book yourself I'd encourage you to jump around and read different chapters then go back through it all. It helped me get the angel & the devil to make peace :-) 
23 Aug 13 by member: FullaBella
Ce - you'll get there, I know you will. I'll stay there... LOL.. I know I will. I have to pep talk myself every day when emotions try to tell me 'look, I know this is your new way of dealing with (anger, sadness, frustration, etc) crap but we've done it this other way for 40+ years and that always worked. It took a while to get used to not feeling that stuffed feeling as the signal that I was no longer hungry. One day at a time. Thank you my friend. 
23 Aug 13 by member: FullaBella
Smart, that's it, you are just plain smart! Love it! 
26 Aug 13 by member: Neptunebch
Susan - Thank you. While none of this is my original thought - I'm just grateful the thoughts hit home and helped me make a change for the better.  
26 Aug 13 by member: FullaBella

     
 

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