FullaBella's Journal, 22 August 2013

Warning: Rant Journal totally unrelated to food & weight. Read at your own risk.
Spoiler alert: anyone who's read my DH journals and labeled me 'the angel of patience' will see the halo slip a bit.

Letter to my Visiting Stepdaughter


After all of this time, I still don't like you. I don't know if it's because I think you're a sociopathic conartist or because I suspect you're a drug addict but as neither conclusion ends well for you I won't devote any more time or energy on the answer. This is merely to clear up a few rules in the event you EVER attempt to come to visit your Father again.

And before you label me 'typical StepMonster' - wrong. Your Father is literally heart broken at your display of poor behavior and you will learn that anyone who hurts him has to deal with me and it isn't pretty.

Travel: Your Father does not do well with last second, spur of the moment changes. He needs a plan to think about, absorb, and adjust. This past month of 'up in the air, nothing decided until the last minute' crap may work for you, not him. If you're coming to visit him your arrival does not need to culminate with him wound up like an 8 day clock.

Flights: I will not meet any more flights arriving after 7pm. Our home is two hours away from the airport. Be considerate. If you must arrive after that hour plan on renting a car at your own expense. Your Father goes to bed at 6pm and needs his rest. He was completely wiped out yesterday due to being awake almost all night worrying about me coming to pick you up in the middle of the night.

Manners A: If I'm nice enough greet you with fresh chilled water when you come off your flight and stop at midnight at a freaking Whataburger by the airport (stereotypical neighborhood wondering if I'm about to be carjacked) so you can get something to eat then the very least you could do is OFFER to bring me something while I wait in the car protecting your luggage. A fresh bottle of water. Something. Anything. It's only polite.

Manners B: If you're going to bring your 21 year old son to my home, warn him I do not tolerate disrespect. I don't let the other grandson's get away with it; neither will he. You may accept that back-talk, I won't.

Maturity: grow up. You're a 46 year old mother of six and grandmother of four. Despite having not ever known my own Father I have read and seen enough movies explaining that women with Father's are always 'Daddy's Little Girl' but there's a limit. The squeaky voice little girl voice you affect in his presence only needs to go. You're not fooling ANYone.

Attire: Spanx are not considered appropriate 'shorts' for travel and public, at least, not in my presence. I not only realize I'm a boring old southern belle; I embrace it. I can appreciate that many people consider tattoos artistic personal expressions of their sense of style and you must have had much to express by having both legs 90% inked with them from hip to ankle. However, around here, it only attracts the attention of weird looking men who left me relieved I was wear a .357 under my bigshirt so I think I'm right on this one. Save the corner-hooker-wear for your night job or the pool. If you must wear shorts pants they are to hand no farther north than mid thigh.

Addiction A: This running outside to smoke every 4 minutes and staying out there 15-20 minutes at a time is frustrating. Get a patch! You said you came to visit your FATHER but I doubt you visited with him a total of 15 freaking minutes yesterday. The rest of the time was either outside smoking or vegged on the guest bed.

Addiction B: Put the freaking Iphone DOWN. It's so frustrating to watch your Father try to carry on a conversation with the top of your head! I don't CARE if you consider yourself the QUEEN of multi-taskers. He'd already told you TWICE he forbids the grandson's next door to do that here, you should get a clue. Buy a vowel. Put it down or I'll wrench it from your hands and stomp it into multi-pieces.

Rudeness will not be tolerated: interesting that you were up and out of here BRIGHT and early at the crack of dawn to go visit your other son in the next state over with the car WE had to rent you because, again, last minute you 'learned' (( instead of taking care of this in advance )) that Enterprise rental will not let you take a contract with a 'debit' card when you're out of state. Remember how many times I encouraged you to take care of this A MONTH AGO? And I consider you wanting to go get a pedicure at 8pm last night just rude. Did you seriously expect me to sit and wait to let you back in after working all day, cooking, taking care of your Father on only 2 hours of sleep? Because you sure as heck didn't ask if I wanted to go with you.

So now you're gone for the day. You were supposed to call your Father an hour ago to let him know how your drive was going yet you haven't. So now, he's wound up again. Thanks for that. And you're supposed to be back with rental car by 6pm tomorrow night or WE will be charged another day. If that happens, I swear, I'll put you on the street myself until you earn enough to pay for it. Think I'm kidding? Try me.

In summary of this, I still don't know if you're just a con-artist or just rude & stupid. Doesn't matter. I don't like you.


Evil Step Monster Bella aka Not the Holiday Inn!

Disclaimer: I reserve the right to add additional rules to this list as I see fit. You'll either abide by them when you visit your Father or you won't ... visit that is. I'll kill you before I'll let you enter my home and break his heart again.


Wow. I'm surprised you haven't resorted to violence... yet! That's enough to make a preacher swear. I say, give her a copy of this journal. She sounds like a dense one and the kind that needs to have the truth thrown at her and rubbed in her face. I've long learned that we are exempt from following the normal rules of politeness and etiquette when people are so blatantly rude, crude and inconsiderate. Throw the book at her, Bella. Literally. And then read her the riot act. This is just WRONG!  
22 Aug 13 by member: evelyn64
Ah, the joys of parenthood. 
22 Aug 13 by member: Val L
Bella, I just felt really glad this person is not related to me! lol I already thought very rude when you told us yesterday about you having to pick them up in 2 different flight hours. I would tell her to wait at the airport and just go there for the last arrival. I just didn't say that yesterday cause I already picked on your dog's poop habits, I didn't want you to tell me to mind my own business! :) Aren't you a little tempted to give this letter to her? (:::evil eyes:::) 
22 Aug 13 by member: Re Becca
Well, I think the halo is well & truly polished to a shine! I hope this all gets relayed to her in some form or fashion. You've now put it out here to the Universe. At least the Universe will know and approve of the love of a good woman for her man. 
22 Aug 13 by member: Sweet Ce
Oh goodness I didn't know this is what you were dealing with! It's amazing the lack of respect some people can have and how inconsiderate they are... bless you for your patience! 
22 Aug 13 by member: Bkeller1023
Thank you all. This is one of the things I really love about the FS and my great friends is that I can rattle off something frustrating me into my journal, get it out of my head and off my back, and then I can just move on. In the end, this rant will be as bad as I get unless she confronts me first on something. Not because I'm a wimp or coward but simply because it's not something I have to tolerate very often. She only visits every 4-5 years and I truly feel this was because of her son being stationed so close; without more graduations to attend I doubt she'll venture here again anytime soon. So my lecture would only serve to benefit any other victims from which she may decide to leech, not me. However, IF I'm wrong, you can certainly bet I'll be much more forthcoming in the advance plans hence another reason for my journaling. I'll come back here, find this, and remind myself of that which I do not wish to repeat. Thank you all again. Bella 
22 Aug 13 by member: FullaBella
I don't even know this woman and I want to punch her in the face.. 
22 Aug 13 by member: erika2633
Erika LOL - maybe just play volley ball with her .... 
22 Aug 13 by member: FullaBella
Haha and I'd push her into the metal boxes..... Done. 
22 Aug 13 by member: erika2633
Ditto..this is not a human..she is a varmint..and I don't blame you for not waniting her back in your home or life..for that matter...geee some people have not got a clue..and are soo into them selves..she is lucky you didn't smack her face off...Oh that would be me..LOL...:O) 
22 Aug 13 by member: BHA
That's it... I need to round up my FS friends into a Posse. Erika - bring your volleyball metal boxes. BK bring your hockey stick and puck (use your own imagination where I want that puck put...) Bren.. bring your varmint eliminator or at least a cattle prod ... anyone else.. bats, sticks, whatever you got. This ... this... whatever the heck she is .. demon from a dimension of hell beyond anything I've ever known... she is still pulling the crap!! NOW she says the graduation that was SUPPOSED to have been at 10am is not until 1pm so she can't get the RENTAL car (on MY credit card) back by 6pm so she needs it another day so since she's doing THAT she's not coming back HERE tonight... she's going to her Aunt's house and will bring it back in the morning ... and her Aunt will come HERE and take her back to the airport. This is not NYC or a big town where all of this is within 1/2 hour of each other.. we're talking HOURS. I'm livid. So in summary, this two months of 'I'm coming to visit my Dad but I have no idea when blah blah BS' has culminated in less than an HOUR of actual visitation with him, midnight run to / from the airport for me... and being treated like a freaking hotel. DH is so upset he's SICK literally SICK from her aggravation. HERE I'm ranting like the angry raving lunatic I feel inside but on the outside I'm sitting quietly and letting him rant his feelings out and just saying 'Oh My.. I'm so sorry she's disappointed you this way ... Really...' because of course the last thing he needs is me stating the obvious TO him and adding fuel to the fire. MEANWHILE the SD next door is so flipping jealous of all of what she THINKS is going on ((because no way I'm going to tell her all of this because SHE wouldn't do the 'oh my' to DH - she'd have to toss in her 'I told you so's' and that would really just send him into the outer limits of anger so here I am ranting about it here while trying to say, in the most subtle way possible to SD that there is no way in HELL that the VSD will be allowed to relocate here NOR will (their) Father back her in a new business as he'd been considering. He commented this morning 'I think she's a drug addict' and I just looked at him and said 'Oh my, really... why?' while squelching my typical Bella response of 'no sh*t Sherlock... what was your first clue'. And he's not fighting Auntie taking VSD back to her flight tomorrow because, quote, "I really hate that she still dresses like a whore and I don't want you anywhere near that...' and again... I have bite marks in my tongue by responding, 'Well.. I can see your point.. I was concerned I was being too judgmental... I'm relieved you agree.' Whew.. this people management is exhausting so I just 1) Want the rental car back 2) that Con Artist OUT of my life 3) my DH to settle back down and lick his wounds. I won't ask for anyone to find her, beat the living snot out of her and leave her laying in a ditch ... that would get me in trouble if anything really happened to her. Just let me know if you do so I can get my alibi straight... okay? Gaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!! Thanks... I feel better now. For now. As this is a minute by minute scam BS thing going on with her.. I'm sure there will be more. Which is aggravating because I truly try to begin my day and approach things with a positive 'all is going to go well' attitude and just dealing with the things that DONT as they happen but now I'm sitting here waiting for more shoes to drop and I ... Gahhhhhhhhh!!!! Exhale. Breathing in & out. Thanks again.  
23 Aug 13 by member: FullaBella
I think Erika is right. Smashing people in the face really should be alot more accepted by society especially when it comes to people like this. It's one of my motivations for getting into better shape. Just to know.. I could smash someone in the face and not get my butt beaten in return. Then again.. I have similiar people in my life so you have my sympathy. 
23 Aug 13 by member: DairyFarmersWife
Holy crap Bella! What a nightmare for you both. I don't know how you stay so quiet with DH. The good thing is, I guess you could call it good, is that your DH does not have blinders on where she is concerned. Now that would make it even worse. Hang in there, it's almost over. 
23 Aug 13 by member: cjmurph
LOL DFW - yep, the VSD is the poster child for that line 'she needed killing' or however it goes. I probably could kick her butt but you know me .. I am not fond of breaking a sweat unless my backyard and flowers are involved. CJ - I am only quiet IRL.. hence my ranting away here to get it out of my head. Ranting to him would only make him feel and react worse so that'd be a lose/lose. Yep... I'm counting this one down and I want to go back to my Xanadu after this! 
23 Aug 13 by member: FullaBella
How many times could I put the F-word in my comments before FS disbarred me? Hmmm.... so let's see... where are we in the tale of the ConArtist? She went to the Aunt's house last night and was supposed to phone US when she left for HERE this morning as well as BE here at 6:30 so that I could go ahead with MY schedule of day without having to wait HERE for opening the door... NEITHER happened. The travel from Auntie's to here is a 30 minute drive, took her TWO HOURS because she 'had to keep pulling over to let her phone charge because GPS was draining it?' I don't have a phone w/GPS so I can't dispute that one but it sounds hinky to me. And... I'm completely BAFFLED by the LUGGAGE now. When she got off the flight Tuesday night she had a small black carry-on roller bag; her son had a backpack. Now there's this HUGE GYM BAG! Where's the rolling bag? What the F is going on here? Oh .. and the minute she walked in HERE Finally at 8am ... her phone was ringining and she was chattering away on it so I guess it recharged in that extra time it took her to get here. Aggggghhhh. So now DH has ordered BBQ for lunch for Auntie, other Auntie & Cousin now all showing up to take her to the airport - that's a saving grace for ME yet now I have people walking through the door that I have to be HOSTESS to for the next four freaking hours. Gaaah. I've never met one single person who could inconvenience so many people in such a wide space of the state in such a short time. They should name tornado's or hurricanes after this gal! 
24 Aug 13 by member: FullaBella
Had to back read this one. What a mess and a pain and a bother for you and DH. Bless his heart she must be killing him. 
26 Aug 13 by member: Neptunebch
Well, tornado VSD left Bellawood about 3pm that day and peace returned. I'm not sure if she made it onto the airline, out of the state or what. She hasn't bothered to phone DAD and tell him she was home or anything - at least, he didn't mention it. Until her departure that day I conversed with little more than paralanguage and she got the message that she was over the line. Per my SD (next door) she (VSD) was out on the patio crying into her cell phone 'I hate it here. Everyone's pissed off at me and isn't talking to me (because DH had her on the freeze out too). And it's hot. I can't wait to get home.' AND THAT... that's why I journaled all of this the day I was upset because anytime my 'guilt' kicks in that I was mean to her, I just come back and am reminded 'oh no... she deserved so much more than she got... ' DH was SO SAD because he'd really been excited thinking about backing her in a new business. He started the business I run now and sometimes says 'I feel like you pushed me out ..' and I don't mean to but I see his point. Anyway, despite his health, he's still resourceful. He'll lick his wounds and come back kicking with something new. Thanks Glams. 
26 Aug 13 by member: FullaBella


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