FullaBella's Journal, 22 August 2013

Warning: Rant Journal totally unrelated to food & weight. Read at your own risk.
Spoiler alert: anyone who's read my DH journals and labeled me 'the angel of patience' will see the halo slip a bit.

Letter to my Visiting Stepdaughter

VSD:

After all of this time, I still don't like you. I don't know if it's because I think you're a sociopathic conartist or because I suspect you're a drug addict but as neither conclusion ends well for you I won't devote any more time or energy on the answer. This is merely to clear up a few rules in the event you EVER attempt to come to visit your Father again.

And before you label me 'typical StepMonster' - wrong. Your Father is literally heart broken at your display of poor behavior and you will learn that anyone who hurts him has to deal with me and it isn't pretty.

Travel: Your Father does not do well with last second, spur of the moment changes. He needs a plan to think about, absorb, and adjust. This past month of 'up in the air, nothing decided until the last minute' crap may work for you, not him. If you're coming to visit him your arrival does not need to culminate with him wound up like an 8 day clock.

Flights: I will not meet any more flights arriving after 7pm. Our home is two hours away from the airport. Be considerate. If you must arrive after that hour plan on renting a car at your own expense. Your Father goes to bed at 6pm and needs his rest. He was completely wiped out yesterday due to being awake almost all night worrying about me coming to pick you up in the middle of the night.

Manners A: If I'm nice enough greet you with fresh chilled water when you come off your flight and stop at midnight at a freaking Whataburger by the airport (stereotypical neighborhood wondering if I'm about to be carjacked) so you can get something to eat then the very least you could do is OFFER to bring me something while I wait in the car protecting your luggage. A fresh bottle of water. Something. Anything. It's only polite.

Manners B: If you're going to bring your 21 year old son to my home, warn him I do not tolerate disrespect. I don't let the other grandson's get away with it; neither will he. You may accept that back-talk, I won't.

Maturity: grow up. You're a 46 year old mother of six and grandmother of four. Despite having not ever known my own Father I have read and seen enough movies explaining that women with Father's are always 'Daddy's Little Girl' but there's a limit. The squeaky voice little girl voice you affect in his presence only needs to go. You're not fooling ANYone.

Attire: Spanx are not considered appropriate 'shorts' for travel and public, at least, not in my presence. I not only realize I'm a boring old southern belle; I embrace it. I can appreciate that many people consider tattoos artistic personal expressions of their sense of style and you must have had much to express by having both legs 90% inked with them from hip to ankle. However, around here, it only attracts the attention of weird looking men who left me relieved I was wear a .357 under my bigshirt so I think I'm right on this one. Save the corner-hooker-wear for your night job or the pool. If you must wear shorts pants they are to hand no farther north than mid thigh.

Addiction A: This running outside to smoke every 4 minutes and staying out there 15-20 minutes at a time is frustrating. Get a patch! You said you came to visit your FATHER but I doubt you visited with him a total of 15 freaking minutes yesterday. The rest of the time was either outside smoking or vegged on the guest bed.

Addiction B: Put the freaking Iphone DOWN. It's so frustrating to watch your Father try to carry on a conversation with the top of your head! I don't CARE if you consider yourself the QUEEN of multi-taskers. He'd already told you TWICE he forbids the grandson's next door to do that here, you should get a clue. Buy a vowel. Put it down or I'll wrench it from your hands and stomp it into multi-pieces.

Rudeness will not be tolerated: interesting that you were up and out of here BRIGHT and early at the crack of dawn to go visit your other son in the next state over with the car WE had to rent you because, again, last minute you 'learned' (( instead of taking care of this in advance )) that Enterprise rental will not let you take a contract with a 'debit' card when you're out of state. Remember how many times I encouraged you to take care of this A MONTH AGO? And I consider you wanting to go get a pedicure at 8pm last night just rude. Did you seriously expect me to sit and wait to let you back in after working all day, cooking, taking care of your Father on only 2 hours of sleep? Because you sure as heck didn't ask if I wanted to go with you.

So now you're gone for the day. You were supposed to call your Father an hour ago to let him know how your drive was going yet you haven't. So now, he's wound up again. Thanks for that. And you're supposed to be back with rental car by 6pm tomorrow night or WE will be charged another day. If that happens, I swear, I'll put you on the street myself until you earn enough to pay for it. Think I'm kidding? Try me.

In summary of this, I still don't know if you're just a con-artist or just rude & stupid. Doesn't matter. I don't like you.

Signed,

Evil Step Monster Bella aka Not the Holiday Inn!

Disclaimer: I reserve the right to add additional rules to this list as I see fit. You'll either abide by them when you visit your Father or you won't ... visit that is. I'll kill you before I'll let you enter my home and break his heart again.