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The pity party has come and gone and I am left with an immense clean up.
The poor eating I did these past three days contributed to my misery; but at least yesterday, I finally paid attention. By evening, I was done with the junk and back to eating like I should. Thank goodness, my digestive system can't handle the junk!
The time of year is especially appropriate given recent events. I believe I have witnessed the death of many things, and now I look forward to the re-birth of my son and his life choices and myself and my life choices. Optimism has helped me thus far and I hope I can share that with my son and get him to embrace it.
Asking for help. That is the crux of the moving forward. Already, I have seen a change. The more we open up and ask, the more opportunities are placed in front of us.
He will be discharged on Monday.
I did a lot of research yesterday, looking into the reasons for and the recovery from suicide attempts. There is a lot of support out there, you just need to ask and then act.
Today, my plan is to make the house safe. I will combine it with the cleaning I have left over from yesterday. I will also go to see my parents and let them know the truth of why I have been distant this past week. Weird to have to lie to your parents when you are nearly 50 years old.
I have learned a great deal throughout this experience. I will never again not tell my child how important he is to me and how much I love him. I will do so every time I see him. I will never again say he is an adult and he doesn't need that. He does. We all do. It validates us to know that others care.
Diet Calendar Entries for 30 March 2013:
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1328 kcal
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Fat: 63.10g | Prot: 49.33g | Carb: 147.88g.
Breakfast: Folgers Flavors French Vanilla Ground Coffee, Sugar in the Raw Stevia Extract in the Raw, Milk (Nonfat). Lunch: Taco John's Super Potato Oles (Small). Dinner: Stokes Green Chile Sauce with Chicken, Sargento Reduced Fat 4 Cheese Mexican Cheese, Flour Tortilla. Snacks/Other: Fiber One Chewy Bars - Chocolate. more...
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2542 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Shopping - 1 hour, Housework - 1 hour, Driving - 3 hours, Resting - 11 hours, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
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 Comments
Well said...we all need to hear that from our nearest and dearest that we are loved. I'm so glad to hear that you are better today. I wish you and your son all the very best!
30 Mar 13 by member: Josie Ann
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I'm glad you are going to share with your parents. It sounds like they aren't too old. They are still your parents and you will always need them. They can always help,(unless they are too old and have demtia:-) LIKE MINE! LOL, My mom is really cute though. SO, best wishes on Monday, you sound like you have sorted a lot out in your had and are preparing your support system as well! Take care! Hug
30 Mar 13 by member: Lizzygracemusic
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It's wondeful to hear the optimism in your post! It sounds like you are back on track & have great plans for the future. You are so right about telling our loved ones how much we love & value them. We should all remember that we can't do so too much. Keep the faith & take it one step at a time. Your son is very lucky to have you! Xoxox
30 Mar 13 by member: Ruhu
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Do you ever tire of reading that I'm in awe of you and the well of strength you possess? Hope not. My prayers continue.
30 Mar 13 by member: FullaBella
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I've been thinking of you; hoping all is going well with you, your son, and your parents. Be well.
03 Apr 13 by member: crabby Kat
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Your journal entries have been showing up in my email, otherwise, I would all but have forgotten this place. You're an inspiration and a strong woman, your son is blessed to have you for his mother.
06 Apr 13 by member: Datastar
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