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30 April 2016

I am able to record it officially. I am proud of myself for sticking with it and getting past the first 10 pounds lost. It will get easier and better from here as I truly begin to enjoy the comittment I have made to myself to get better, feel better, and BE better. Recording everything I put in my mouth is key to my success. Otherwise, there is no accountability, no awareness.
Another milestone yesterday - this one on a personal level. I fixed a plumbing leak. My ex had installed a valve in our main water line and it started leaking a month ago. I used the bucket method to manage the leak thus far; but last night, I got up the courage to replace the valve and then cap it. Baby steps. Another step on the path toward getting the house ready to sell.
Today is my work "daughter's" baby shower - an event that I am looking forward to in all aspects but food. I will be strong, though. It is in mid afternoon and so my lunch will still be with me to help me power through. My friend who is dieting on weight watchers will also be there, so she and I can support each other.
I also forget dump prep! I need to get branches and all kinds of stuff ready for the boys to take today (despite the snow, rain, and mud). I better get busy!!
Weigh-in: 229.2 lb lost so far: 14.8 lb still to go: 29.2 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   (4 comments) on diet RiverRes's own diet   losing 1.0 lb a week

29 April 2016

Odd day. It is snowing outside and the weather is supposed to be bad for the next three days. I am trying to take advantage of free dump days this weekend as I clean out the backyard to help get the house ready for sale. Looks like I will be out there with a rain poncho and snow boots.

I had a meltdown at work yesterday. Is it menopause or just being tired of the situation and feeling powerless? Probably some of both. I have been here 7 years. I am on my seventh boss in 7 years. They rotate in and out and I end up having to prove myself over and over again. Is it the 7-year itch? Or am I just tired of training the next monkey that corporate has identified to climb the ladder?

My old boss told me that I am intimidating and I need to be more inviting (smiling, grateful) when a boss hands me something to do. He never had a problem with me, but he and I have a unique relationship. I struggle with my new boss. He is not a strong personality and seems subversive. He avoids me and goes to others for work he should give to me. Everyone he goes to still has to come to me for help and so it ends up being an interruption, not a planned project. If he would just come to me and say, hey - I want you to work on this with so and so; then I would do what was needed to set the other person up for success and then let them get to it. It would be a win-win. Instead I am always at a lose-lose. I do most of the groundwork and no one knows how much of my time I had to give for the other person to achieve success.

As to how I react when my boss hands me something to do, my face is a direct reflection of my internal thoughts - it is one of my worst flaws. When he hands me something, I am typically in the middle of something else. He never tells me what the priority is for his latest request, and so I end up juggling what my priorities should be without any knowledge of where things fall in the pecking order. I don't know how to fix my reactions; but I need to learn. Or do I? Is this really what I want to do?

So many questions. I feel trapped. I need to do something. Just don't stress eat.

26 April 2016

23 April 2016

Weigh-in: 230.2 lb lost so far: 13.8 lb still to go: 30.2 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   (7 comments) on diet RiverRes's own diet   losing 1.4 lb a week

20 April 2016

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