kingkeld's Journal, 20 December 2012

Good morning, buddies!

Sorry, I'm late. :) This morning was a tough one, and I actually wanted to weigh in and do a journal, but I was in a bad mood and figured it'd be much more productive to let it wait a little.

I'm NOT down in weight today, and I was expecting to see a significant drop. Bummer. I am down 100 grams, but that doesn't really do it for me. lol.

I had my 2nd weekly Low Cal Day yesterday. It was hard on me. Very hard. I had the munchies all afternoon, pretty much from my last update. I did give in some, and I probably ended at 1000 calories total. I lost track of it, in the way that I don't know the calories of what I ate. I will try to reconstruct it though, and register the damage. The bad news is that some was chocolate. THe good news is that some was extra chicken breast. lol.

Still, I'm super disappointed that I didn't see a loss. Obviously, it makes me question my new approach.

I know. I use a different scale, and it can be a COMPLETELY different number. The other two scales I have (where one is now broken) measure around 7 kgs(!) different. Still, I have this feeling that this one is accurate with the other one. Or at least that's what I like to think. Of course, this also makes me think that there is no weight loss. I know that what I ate extra yesterday was NOT enough to really weigh me down physically, and not enough calories to not have a deficit.

I guess I'll simply keep going. Had you asked me this morning, I would have simply stopped. Trouble is, I still have a deadline, and I really can't afford NOT losing weight these days, if I want to make it.

Still, I can not see how my new system can NOT help me lose weight, better and faster. It's gotta work.

I see two issues in it though. The first one is my 2nd Low Cal Day. I find it difficult to control towards the end of the day. I don't get hungry but I want snacks BADLY. I need to learn to control that. When I get like that, I am like a lion in a cage. I know I'm a pain to be around, and that is not acceptable - neither to me or my surroundings. I will give it another shot or two, and then evaluate if I can handle it, or if I need to adjust to only once per week, or if something else can be done. The downside to once per week Low Cal Days is of course that there will be less calories to spend on "normal" days, and that the health benefits from doing it won't be as clear.

The other issue:
It's Christmas. Next Low Cal Day is gonna be Monday, Christmas Eve. This is the big Christmas in Denmark, and there is no chance to go low cal. The day after is of course Christmas Day, same issue as Wife and I also celebrate American Christmas. I see a pattern in this, and we have quite a few outings planned, along with other stuff. It will be HARD to find 4 Low Cal Days the next two weeks.

I think I can easily fit one in on the 2rd of January - Wednesday. I will be back at work there, and the day before is a nice calm day in Denmark. Not much will be happening there. I can easily stop eating after dinner then, and have a Low Cal Day. Maybe I can fit it in on the Sundays, instead of Mondays. It'll be a challenge, as I am probably just gonna be sitting at home those days. Denmark is pretty much closed on Sundays. It'll be hard to NOT get to snack, NOT get to have awesome breakfast with Wife. But probably not impossible. We'll see. I might do it, I might not.

I really want to say "I'm just not gonna follow it until I'm back to work in January". It would make things so easy. BUT I'm afraid I'll just not follow ANY plan for days and end up even heavier. It's tough enough that I'm still in the 90's. I find that TOTALLY unacceptable.

I had made a promise to myself that I would NEVER be in the 80's again. 90's is just horrible. I ended up in the mid-eighties after the surgery, and never came lower again. It's GOTTA change.

I am made a pact with myself that when I am on Christmas break, I will exercise. I will do a lot to keep active, just like I did last year. I will work on getting in better shape. It will give me something to do on the days where we are just watching tv. It will make me less bored. It will be good for me. Of course, it's also gonna suck. I am NOT into exercise these days. At all. But I'm gonna do it. Biking, in- and outdoors, walks (hopefully with Wife), and workout DVDs.

I just renewed my membership to the gym. It's now paid through 2013. Sadly, they're closed for the holidays so I can't go there and do anything. I will however make regular visits there my new year's resolution. I will schedule them, so I am certain to go at least a couple of times (or 3) per week. It's gotta be something that becomes habit.

I know that exercise will help me. I know it's good for me. I know it'll help me lose that damn weight.

I am so frustrated that the weight won't come off. I have no words for it.

Anyways, back to Christmas break plans.

Here is what I've come up with:

I will make a "mix" of my old Indulgence Diet, and my new Roller Coaster Diet. :)

I have already done my Low Cal Days for this week, so essentially I'm good for the rest of the week. I have 2300 calories available every day, AND Indulgence Day on Saturday. Not bad. Now, I know I went over about 500 calories yesterday, so I will compensate for them today, not going over 1800 calories. That'll clear my conscience. I can do that.

Then I will generally try to go lower on all the other days, but not worry whether I actually accomplish or not. I should have a nice, large calorie deficit over the week regardless.

This coming Sunday, I will try to "save up" a Low Cal Day. If I can do it, I get 2300 calories for Monday - Christmas Eve. If I can NOT do it, I get 1600 calories available, as it will then be regular Indulgence Diet Normal day. If I want room for a nice, large dinner, I will have to make room elsewhere, maybe skip lunch. I do NOT want to wait for another week or two for a weight loss.

Then, Tuesday will be a normal day again. If I did a Low Cal Day on Sunday, I will have 2300 calories available. If I didn't then I will have 1600. Wednesday, I will again attempt a Low Cal Day. If I pass, then I will allow 2300 calories the rest of the days, if not, then 1600. Indulgence Day is 3600 no matter. It's all accounted for. I will do this the following week too.

This way, I should be covered - and have a 7000 calorie deficit over the course of a week no matter what. I think it's a fair solution.

My downfall is definitely the snacks. If I was without those, I would have zero issues here. I hate that I can't resist them. I need to simply get better on it. I need to get on top of it. I need to take controld. I know I can do it. I did it for a year and a half. It's not even hard to do, once the mindset is there.

Today, we are going for a luncheon, all of the people in my department. We're basically going to a little restaurant and ordering what we'd like, and we each pay our own. I took a quick glance at the menu, and ALL choices sucks. :/ Booo! They all love the food there, but there is nothing worth eating, and every dish is like a gazillion calories. So I brought lunch, in case I get hungry. I will then eat before or after the luncheon, and just order a coffee and a water there. Simple. I don't really get affected by others eating around me, so I am fine with that.

Afterwards, we are going to a big meeting, with the christmas celebrations and all. There will be cake, candies and snacks. I'll sit far far away, I think. I need to take control of this.

I'm hoping to simply have breakfast and dinner today, and not go nuts at all. I need this for my own sanity. I need to be stronger, and tell myself that I will NOT die of starvation. I can do this.

Anyways, I'm babbling. I need to get going. Besides, I'm at work. I'm sure there are other things I'm supposed to be doing. lol.

Today, I am thankful for:
- Delaying my journal and weigh-in until I was able to clear my head of the disappointment and write something constructive instead of whiny babble. This is much more constructive babble (but still babble. lol).
- A nice, easy day at work.
- Morning coffee - still enjoying it. :)
- Almost Christmas holiday break!
202.6 lb Lost so far: 139.1 lb.    Still to go: 15.2 lb.    Diet followed poorly.

Diet Calendar Entries for 20 December 2012:
997 kcal Fat: 52.14g | Prot: 57.86g | Carb: 73.18g.   Breakfast: Egg, Rye Bread, Sliced Ham (Extra Lean). Lunch: nordana. Dinner: Mexican Style Stewed, Seasoned, Ground Beef with Potatoes (Picadillo De Carne De Rez Con Papas). Snacks/Other: Tangerines (Mandarin Oranges), Milk Chocolate Candies. more...
3381 kcal Activities & Exercise: Walking (exercise) - 3.5/mph - 45 minutes, Desk Work - 6 hours, Sitting - 4 hours and 55 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours, Walking (moderate) - 3/mph - 20 minutes, Standing - 4 hours. more...
on diet kingkeld's own diet   losing 3.1 lb a week

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Comments 
Keld, Yes I hear you on the party planning man. It is incredibly tough to balance our lifestyle this time of year. Heck, its hard enough all year long without parties every week or so. I have several events planned over the next week or two, and I am going to do the best I can on those days I can. I will let Christmas and New Years happen, and move on Jan 1st. Am I giving up the fort until then, heck no! So, if you can make the best of the down days, and make the best of the holidays so you can have a good time with your friends and loved ones. I suppose sometimes we have to be more "like" our old self in order to party with our loved ones.  
20 Dec 12 by member: posterchild66
Yeah, this is not the easiest time of year, thats for sure. But there's challenges all throughout the year too, there's never NOT going to be something coming up where you'll want to be able to eat more. If the low cal days are making you overdo it at other times, maybe you could forgo that plan until after the holidays and just try to keep a more steady daily calorie plan? That's the problem they suggest comes from fasting or skipping breakfast - you just overcompensate later because of it. That's the part you want to avoid! Good luck with today's events.. you CAN do this!  
20 Dec 12 by member: Bkeller1023
Of course I can do this. :) 
20 Dec 12 by member: kingkeld
I had the munchies last night too, ate almost a whole bag of sami chips, garlic ones too, (dragon lady breath today). This is a time of year that we all struggle with, old habits can be hard to break. For me being miserable just backfires later, maybe a bit of a compromise would help? 
20 Dec 12 by member: gg-girl
Keld. Nice job reasoning that all out. I empathize with you. I relate strongly to your "lion in a cage" analogy. Yesterday I didn't count calories. I could have guesstimated my calories from the potluck but I didn't. I had a normal breakfast, enjoyed a primarily protein potluck ( other than a half piece of pumpkin bread, some potatoes, and a sliver of a brownie), then when I felt hungry last nit I had some chicken. Today I was down to 221.2. Still not where I was last week after my first low cal day but down. I am doing low cal days when the fit rather than on reoccurring days. I will stick with this until sometime in January to give it a fair chance. The science is sound. Maybe my body is just being stubborn. I'm grateful to have you to bounce things off of. Maybe don't save all your calories for dinner? That might keep the lion at bay. I'm with you buddy! Hugs! 
20 Dec 12 by member: madaboutmoose
I hear you, Moose. : ) I will try to stick to this as much as I can, and possibly be ahead of plan if possible. It'll make it easier and more justifiable to do "bad" on the days where there isn't much way around it. Today, I nipped it all in the butt. I didn't cheat other than one tiny chocolate, and I savored it, and I am done eating for the day. I am having tea as an evening "snack", and it's just fine for me. This means I can better enjoy my day in Copenhagen tomorrow, when we go watch The Hobbit in the largest cinema in the Nordic Countries. It'll be fun. THere will, however, also be food involved in the trip. More details on that tomorrow. I have a plan. I will do good. :) 
20 Dec 12 by member: kingkeld
Come to Turkey for Christmas - it's non-existant! I have no extra temptations unless I make them myself, and since I'll be working on Christmas Day, as usual, there's not really much point. Turks celebrate New Year but that'll just be one over-sized evening meal. I do get the feeling, Kingkeld, that you're very frustrated and from your journals you're going off-plan fairly often. I think you need to make a plan and stick to it, like you have done before. If you can start exercising again, you know that once you've started you enjoy doing it and you enjoy the feeling it brings you. What happened to your early morning DVD workout? That would start you moving and rev up your metabolism without you having to leave home :) Good luck over the festive period - don't beat yourself up but don't give in too often, either. 
20 Dec 12 by member: Earthlady
What they said. Breathe, relax, enjoy, pay attention to proper eating but geez... 100gr loss is STILL a loss. Better than a gain!  
20 Dec 12 by member: FullaBella
Hi KingKeld- I think you are being too hard on yourself. I know you set the bar pretty high and it is how you have accomplished so much. This is such a challenging time of the year to stick to a plan. Just wait -self-improvement all the time January is just around the corner. I have found that the daily ups and downs on my scale are just too traumatic. So, I weigh in once a week. Things are a bit slow. I was up this week about half a pound. But usually I have the joy of a loss over 7 days (or maintaining which right now feels like a victory). Daily weigh-ins were super freaky for me - too much wild swinging one way or the other and it would throw me off for the whole day. I hope you have a lovely holiday time with your family. Know that you will accomplish anything you set your mind to. And, as you always remind us, remember that Life is Sweet! 
21 Dec 12 by member: joyfulgirl
I really admire you for battling your frustration over the plateau and forcing yourself to come up with constructive plans. You will break through soon - it could just be those exercise plans that you mention that will make the difference. And even if you find your current mix of indulgence and rollercoaster diet doesn't manage to break through the plateau for you, at least by sticking to them over christmas you're staying in control and aware of all your choices and massively limiting the potential damage that christmas can cause. Then come January if you need to you can re-evaluate and re-jig your approach. Enjoy the Hobbit tomorrow! I'd say stay strong but I'm sure you will, since you are a man with a plan! 
21 Dec 12 by member: phibs
Merry Christmas, Kingkeld! The scales should be locked up and not used again until after Christmas. Give yourself a little holiday. Mentally stick with your diet plans but .... you don't need the stress and disappointment. Love you, buddy. You need a break from all this in more ways than one. We will do this together after Christmas... and have a more positive outlook on the whole processs! Love ya.... Ho! Ho1 Ho1 
22 Dec 12 by member: Mom2Boxers

     
 

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