HCB's Journal, 11 August 2012

Great advice! We can become so familiar with each other that we can forget our manners.  

Love your journal HCB, sage words! 

Wise words, indeed!  

Thanks HCB for the reminder. I often worry if my "advice" will come across the wrong way. I really care about everyone's success and worry about people that may be hurting themselves more than helping. I am very appreciative of all my buddies and I know most people here mean well, but everyone might not take things the same way.  

NONE of MY Buddies should personalize my journal comments! I was reading some Non-Buddy comments made to other members and just wondered how that person might perceive such "advice." 

I agree! You are always so sweet and supportive, but I did have one person make multiple out of line comments on my journal and I have seen forum posts by non buddies get very snippy. A good reminder, especially when one person may be scientifically right, another has anecdotal evidence from personal experience... Presto. Loggerheads. 

I've noticed your thoughtful phrasing in your posts. You set a good example for all of us.  

Great advise hun. Your right I think sometimes we may not think how we word our conversation when trying to help someone. Thank you HCB. Cause we all need every bit of encouragement awe can get but in a postive way. I know I will think now before I try to give advise.:) 

The tendancy to internalize is powerful since we are sensitive creatures. I have read others' unwarranted but well intended advice and I have offered up what I defined as jovial banter - especially as it pertains light-heartedly to non-weight-loss topics. Some buddies interpret jovial banter as playful - the way it was intended - and others read it as tough-to-take criticism. As intelligent members we can read literally for surface or read figuratively for depth. My Fat Secret is to read the second way but to refrain from reading too much into a member's comment.  

Your journal hit home. I often offer advice, or liik for keys words that I can offer suggestions on. Good journal! 

I think all the advice given, even if it is given in a less than diplomatic way at times comes from a place of trying to help those who are struggling...because we all know this is not easy. If it was, there would be no need for a place like FS. But you are right, that too often advice givers project too much of their own personal experience onto others, and lose sight of the fact that what might work for them, might be a disaster for someone else, or may not be heard in the context in which they intend. It is almost the nature of internet communication. :( But reminders such as yours on a regular basis can help both sides temper things a bit.