We cannot change yesterday, but we can work today to make a better tomorrow...
Hello, FatSecret family. This one will be a hard one. Happy Friday, I do hope that you are all well.
I am not going to rehash what went on, I am not going to call people out or try to form a posse to go after anyone. What I am going to say is this: I was hurt, extremely hurt, because of the actions of some people. Things were said to me, about me, and around me that were untrue, and extremely unkind. I fought with myself about coming back here, pouring myself out to people here, virtual strangers, because of how hurt I was. Imagine going to a stadium, all alone, and someone stands in the center of the field and says "I received notice from 250+ people that they all want you to leave..." and the spotlight lands on you. How would that make you feel? All these people, you dont even know their names, wanting to kick you out of someplace all on the word of another person that you dont know either. It is painful.
What made me decide to come back was, I was reading my past journals, and the comments people left. One in particular. I posted it just recently, a picture of me in a black shirt, that was taken 2 weeks ago or so next to a picture of me in the same shirt, taken August of last year. The comments on that journal: "I dont know you, but I love you", "We are holding your hand the whole way", "I remember the cherry dress"....it showed me that people really did care. People read what I had to say, my thoughts, my fears, my heart pouring out here and cared about it. You care if I succeed, you care when I stumble, when I feel like I cannot go on. You are there to lift me back up.
This community, this family, isnt a popularity contest, its not me vs. them, it US. We are all in this together. Be it to lose 10lbs or 100lbs, we are here to build each other up. What does it help if someone is not always logging their weight, but are putting themselves out there to get support...and we tear them apart because of it. Who cares what they are logging, or what they choose to share, we should care that there is a person on the other end of that screen, and they deserve just as much love and respect as anyone else in the world.
I had nothing to do with certain people leaving the community, I know that there are people who will not believe me, but I have no reason to lie to you. I would never harass, or fat-shame someone, especially not someone who is struggling and working hard to lose their weight. That has happened to me my entire life, so I would never make another person feel the way that I have felt.
That being said, this is over, today. I owe nothing to anyone here. I am here to lose weight, not prove myself. If you follow and support me, great, I am happy to have you, but if you do not, I dont really care. I wish you the best, but I am not going to let anyone drag me down. I am strong, I am a fighter, I am a warrior. I may need rest, a time out for myself, but that doesnt make me weak. It makes me human.
Today I will pray for those who have hurt me. I pray that I am able to forgive and forget the pain that I felt. I will pray that God guides me in the right direction and keeps His hand on me as I walk this path, no matter how slowly I walk it. I will pray that my story touches someone, gives someone hope who thought they could never do it. I pray that we all feel the hand of God in our choices and words, that we choose to build and not destroy. I pray goodness and mercy follow us, all of our days. In Jesus name, Amen.
Remember, a fire built by hate can destroy, but a fire built by love can renew. Always love each other. Everyone is fighting their own battle.
