|
A lot going on this week: mostly full of fear and disappointment. Ya know, I love my children more than anything in this world. I guess that is why it is so easy for them to break my heart. I don't want to go into details, though I have before felt safe to do so here with the anonymity. I will just say that I am really afraid for the future of my children based upon choices they have made. That is all. My heart aches just typing that. While at the same time, I have to keep my anger in check because *losing it* won't help anyone.
I've been running five miles every morning (except for Tuesday). I find that waking up at 630 am and going for a run makes me dread it a lot less than waiting until I get home after work. As of today, I am at 20 miles this week of running...so that puts me at 52 miles for the challenge so far. I need to do a long run this weekend of at least 8.5 miles.
About two miles into my run this morning, this young male Chihuahua that appeared to be very under weight emerged from the woods and started running alongside of us. He ran the entire way back to my house. About a mile before I reached home though a large black lab came running at us and barking. That Chihuahua took off straight after the lab and attacked him. Funniest thing I ever saw an animal do. Black lab retreated after the Chihuahua latched onto the underside of its neck. Then, the Chihuahua pranced right back over, never missing a beat to our side to join us on the remaining run. My running buddy remarked that by noon I'd probably be carrying the Chihuahua around in my purse. Ha. Very sweet little dog. I didn't let him come into the house. My Frenchie queen bee might have had a massive heart attack over my disloyalty for spending time with another dog. When I left for work, he was still hanging around the farm. He was pretty thin, young and not fixed. I suspect someone dumped him. I've never been a fan of Chihuahua's, but I was pretty enamored with how quickly he was to protect me from the lab. I just hope he doesn't get out on the main road and get hit. I hate it when people dump their dogs out in the country...or at all.
I exercise a lot. Consistently. I mean a whole lot. Probably average 2.5 hours of cardio per day and 3 hours of strength training a week. When I log my exercise, I do so conservatively so as not to overestimate how much I burn. I do *cheat* and eat a cookie from time to time. But, for the most part, my calories aren't overly excessive. I consistently show a caloric deficit weekly. Fatsecret recommends 1500 calories a day for me, but that is based upon me being sedentary. I've been at the same dang weight since February pretty much. I lose and re-gain the same five pounds like it is just bouncing back and forth in a Ping-Pong match. I mean...what do I have to do around here to get out of the 170s already???? GEEZ. Yeah, I had one week of vacation when I really blew it. But, in the big scheme of things I feel like I deserve to have more progress showing on the dang scale. I've had several people tell me that I look like I've lost weight. And, I do notice some more definition in my arms (thanks P90x for killing me with pushups and heavy pants). I get that muscle weighs more than fat, etc. And, I'd buy that I am building muscle if I were closer to my goal weight. But, lets be honest here...I've still got about 40 pounds to go. I want this fat gone. Thyroid function is normal. Blood tests are perfect. I still feel exhausted, like I could take a nap at my desk in the office every day between two and four. It just stinks that the rest of my body is just as damned stubborn as my brain. People say things to me like "I bet you feel so much better now" when they refer to my weight loss. And, I read junk about how exercise is suppose to make you feel so much more energized. I really hate to piss in anyone's Cheerios...but I'm tired. Like real tired. I can't even really say now that I feel so much better. Now I'm not inclined to stop exercising. And, I'm not trying to discourage anyone else from exercising and eating right. I'm just frustrated at not seeing progress on the scale. And, before you say it, I know the scale isn't the only measurement but keep in mind that I neurotically tape myself almost daily too. Guess what? Same size. Eh...what are you going to do, right? Surely if I keep this up, one day I will start to see some real progress again like it was in the beginning. It was so nice when all I had to do was walk 20 minutes and keep track of my calories to see the scale go down 2-5 pounds in a week. Patience is a virtue. A virtue I seem to be lacking lately. Hey...at least I am not on week three of a new diet proclaiming that I am at plateau, right? Ok. I apologize for my big, whiney session. May the weight Gods be kinder to you than they have been to me lately. Enjoy the weekend!
2MC
Diet Calendar Entries for 11 July 2014:
|
1774 kcal
|
Fat: 58.39g | Prot: 72.87g | Carb: 219.60g.
Breakfast: Oatmeal, Minute Maid Pure Squeezed Light Orange Juice. Lunch: Mixed Salad Greens, Treasure Cave Crumbled Blue Cheese, Dijon Mustard, Giant Eagle Cherry Tomatoes, Garbanzo Beans, Wish-Bone Light Sweet & Spicy French Dressing, EarthGrains 35 Calorie Wheat Bread, Sargento Ultra Thin Swiss Cheese, Deli Turkey or Chicken Breast Meat. Dinner: AMC Movie Theater Popcorn (Large), Frankfurter or Hot Dog on Bun, Michelob Ultra Light Beer. Snacks/Other: Dairy Queen Plain Waffle Cone with Soft Serve, Great Value Fat Free Small Curd Cottage Cheese, Great Value No Sugar Added Mandarin Oranges. more...
|
|
2337 kcal
|
Activities & Exercise:
Walking (brisk) - 4/mph - 1 hour and 30 minutes, Sleeping - 22 hours and 30 minutes. more...
|
|
 Comments
Adult children can break your heart in so many ways...we see them at a crossroads, or on the cusp of something we KNOW is bad for them, and we are powerless to stop them. I have no words of wisdom about that subject, but know you are not alone in that.
11 Jul 14 by member: notjune1
|
2MC-I can't speak for you, but for me...stress will cause me to lose sleep and lost sleep is a big factor in halting my progress. It sounds like your kids are creating some stress in your life. I'm sorry for whatever you're dealing with. I hope you find peace soon. Keep up with that awesome motivation!
11 Jul 14 by member: NikkiJP
|
As a Mom, you are likely a "fixer". It is hard to resist, and harder to break that habit. You just have to realize like everyone else the best attitude is to save your strength to change the things you can, and those you can't, just forgive and let go. Be there for the kids, but don't stress yourself out.
11 Jul 14 by member: Bikerhal
|
What about the dog. Are you going to help him or get someone else to help him. I would not be able to sleep knowing the poor thing was out there starving to death or being hit by a car. Obviously, he is friendly, wanting to be with you and running beside you and trying to protect you. Can't you find him a good home?
11 Jul 14 by member: kattay
|
I figured I would see if he sticks around. If so, he is welcome to stay. Too early to bring him in with the Queen Bee though as I didn't have enough time to properly introduce them before work. One of my other dogs ran off in April. I've always wondered if someone picked him up and kept him as I was certain he would be right back home if given the chance. As thin as this little booger was, I don't want to hold him hostage if he does wish to return home.
11 Jul 14 by member: 2ManyCurves
|
It's great that you've been so consistent with your workouts. You're really doing great. My suggestion is to workout less, either in time or intensity, but to continue to workout 5-6 days a week. Working out excessively can cause more harm than good, in the form of injuries and burnout. If you're tired of working out or simply have low energy, cutting back on the intensity or duration of your workouts might help. It will help you have more energy and find the joy in exercising again. Exercise because it makes you feel good, not just to lose weight. If you have fun with exercising and enjoy the foods you eat, your weight loss journey will be much easier for you. I also suggest being consistent with your food as much as possible, and to not go too low in calories, especially with all the working out that you're doing :)
11 Jul 14 by member: ChristyLA
|
Great going on your running - but could you put a little food in a bowl in a safe place when the little guy can see you doing it - so he knows he is welcome to stick around if he can survive outside? Not too many dogs out there willing to safeguard strangers instead of attacking them - he's just trying to earn a place in your heart and a spot at your hearth!
11 Jul 14 by member: Saltfree1
|
Hang in there 2ManyCurves, I was wondering if maybe let go a bit of the exercise and drop some of the calories for a short time and see if your body will take to the new regime... I know on Atkins if you hit a plateau they suggest that you drop back to the induction for maybe a couple of weeks or so it gives your body a jolt of what you are trying to do...(Burn Fat)...you could give that a try and see what it does..
I hear you when you speak of children, been there done that and it is hard, but you have to at one time or another say to yourself it is their life, whichever path they choose you have to let them go down it cause no matter what you say they are going to do it anyways...But you just have to be there for them if they come for advice or whatever it is... I learned that no matter what you say they have minds of there own and will proceed in doing what they think is best...sometimes you just have to sit back, observe and wait.. if they come asking, at least you are there with open arms....Good luck, you have done great and will in time succeed.
11 Jul 14 by member: Re-energize
|
Maybe with all that exercise you aren't getting enough calories and your body is hording the weight. Try eating more calories or reducing your exercise.
11 Jul 14 by member: wholefoodnut
|
I was tired all the time, just figured it was due to my weight. I had a colonoscopy last year and during the procedure I stopped breathing several times. As I was coming out of anesthesia I continued having to be shook to keep breathing. I had no idea that any of this was happening. Turns out that I have sleep apnea - I was sent to a sleep specialist and tested. I now have energy all day long because I use a C-Pap machine. The average times per hour that I had stopped breathing in my sleep was 17 times! I also got sent to an allergist and discovered that I was allergic to just about everything - I now get shots weekly and no longer have to live with a constantly stuffy nose, plus i no longer snore. So, you may want to have these things checked - it has made a world of difference in my life.
|
Might want to have your vitamin d and b levels checked as well.
12 Jul 14 by member: wholefoodnut
|
| |
|
|
| |
Submit a Comment
You must sign in to submit a comment
|
|
|
Other Related Links
Members
|
2ManyCurves's weight history
|