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My husband had a massive heart attack yesterday morning. I've been at the hospital ever since. Accordingly it has been difficult to eat well and I haven't been able to run, with exception to a brief half mile jog I took around the parking lot at 5 am while he was asleep. My husband is 39 and within normal weight range. He had lost some weight in the past year but had been at his goal weight for a few months now. He ate right and was active. No family history of early heart disease. He had developed a blood clot in his main heart valve which resulted in 100 percent blockage. According to the surgeon it was related to smoking. I've never smoked but I've watched him struggle to quit over the last few years. I never wanted to nag him as I reasoned that he would have to make up his mind to stop smoking himself and no amount of nagging would push him to do it just like if he nagged me about my weight I would just learn to resent him. So I stayed quiet. I stood by silently and let him kill himself. If you love someone, nag them. Even if they resent you, they can do so alive. Knowing that his heart stopped five times makes me realize that I should have never stood by and done nothing. I should have thrown all out tantrums. I don't know his prognosis. I just know that I never want to experience receiving the phone call, not knowing if he was going to die or not, and seeing him on a ventilator ever again. I think people see the commercials on television and think it won't happen to them. But it does. I know this site is for becoming healthy as far as food intake, but if you smoke please stop. It can happen to you. You can be 39 and die leaving behind a family that tiptoed around, not wanting to offend you. It just isn't worth it.
2MC
Diet Calendar Entries for 16 March 2014:
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1781 kcal
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Fat: 67.60g | Prot: 90.88g | Carb: 202.04g.
Breakfast: McDonald's Egg McMuffin. Lunch: Lasagna with Meat. Dinner: Soft Pretzels, Buffalo Wild Wings Fried Pickle Chips, Buffalo Wild Wings Boneless Wings. more...
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 Comments
I don't know what the "natural reaction" to nearly losing your spouse at 39 should be. Perhaps I'm abnormal. My husband is still in CCU. I realize that not all smokers have heart attacks. But I also realize that it severely increases the risk. Not all overweight people have diabetes. But again it is a risk factor. I'm frustrated, worried, angry yet relieved he has survived so far. He will not smoke again. I will not accept that risk.
17 Mar 14 by member: 2ManyCurves
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thoughts and prayers for a full and speedy recovery.
take care of yourself as well.
17 Mar 14 by member: timconard
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Sending you my prayers and stay strong, you are not alone, I will let my family know to add you to their prayers.
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I am so sorry. I will keep your husband and your entire family in my prayers.
17 Mar 14 by member: JennBuck61
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I hope he is going to be all right. Sending thoughts and prayers. You are not alone.
17 Mar 14 by member: Mom2Boxers
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i wish your husband, and your family peace of mind. rely on christ, and he will send a comforter during your hard times. christ won't put your family through anything you can't handle. my prayers are with you.
17 Mar 14 by member: marissawillbeskinny
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Thank you for posting about this. Thinking of you and your husband, hoping for a good prognosis, and that he will be able to make the changes he needs to.
17 Mar 14 by member: WonderWoman6806
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How horrific. My heart goes out to you. As you've said, while you might blame yourself a bit for not pushing your husband to quit, we only do these things when we're ready, rather than when anyone else tells us. As an ex-smoker myself, I can definitely testify to that. Well done, too, for saying that we *should* nag our loved ones though; it needs to be said more. Even if it's all we can do, who knows at what point it might help the message to hit home? Will be thinking of you both, and wishing you the very best outcome.
17 Mar 14 by member: *Starshine*
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my husband quit smoking after his second heart attack, he had to decide foe himself, I tried monitoring him but not possible, don't beat yourself up.
17 Mar 14 by member: garney56
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The day I quit smoking, I thought I was having a heart attack - and I think I was about 40. It was the last cigarette I had. It scared the crap out of me - hopefully it will do the same for your husband. But the choice is his - you could have nagged forever and it would not have changed a thing. It's an addiction worse than heroin ... Thoughts and prayers are with you.
17 Mar 14 by member: cmlynn
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I agree with Cmlynn there is nothing you could have done unless he was ready to quit for himself I smoked for 22 yrs and finally quit for myself not for everyone else when I turned 40 and my health took a nose dive and scared the heck out of me as well it was hard but I knew I had to do it. My husband was not a smoker and bless his sweet heart never said a word to me I never smoked around him inside anywhere but after I quit I thought about all the times I could have hurt him with my smoke so don't beat yourself up. This will be a wake up call for him and it will bring you both closer when he comes home hang in there My Prayers to you both while you are both healing
17 Mar 14 by member: Lauriejw55
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Definitely he will have to make the decision to quit smoking just like each one of us has had to take responsibility for ourselves to lose weight and many of us commit to exercise to get ourselves healthy. If he doesn't it won't work.
17 Mar 14 by member: wholefoodnut
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Sending up a healing prayer. Wishing the best for you and yours.
17 Mar 14 by member: Nikita 007
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2MC, there is no "normal" reaction to a crisis like this. You are in a state of shock, & it will take awhile to process mentally & emotionally what has happened. I'm sure you are in turmoil right now, & I hope you have some family or friends around to help & support you & your husband. There has to be a balance between "nagging" him & realizing that he is the only one who can make that final choice. Don't let it drive a wedge between you if he chooses to continue his habit. Smoking, like drugs & overeating, is a very hard habit to kick, & we're the only ones who can make the choice to either quit or continue. Still praying for strength & healing, & wisdom for those caring for your hubby. Hugs, Glammer
17 Mar 14 by member: GLAMMER
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Love and prayers for you and your Hubby. Hoping he makes a good recovery, and don't beat yourself up about not nagging - you can only move forward from here and help him recover healthier. xxxx
18 Mar 14 by member: clairebuxton
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