kingkeld's Journal, 16 February 2012

Ouch. Man, I did bad yesterday.

I'm not sure what was wrong with me, but I had INSANE cravings. I craved all the baddies from yesteryear and before the new Kingkeld appeared, and to some extend I caved in. Not as bad as I could have, but I caved in nonetheless.

The damage isn't severe - I simply didn't have a calorie deficit, but I would have liked it to not be so. The guilt of doing it is probably worse than the actual damage.

Today, I am determined to be back on track though. No need to linger in it - there will always be days like these - it's much more important to get back on track and do good.

What troubles me more is the fact that these days come a little more often than they used to. Inquisitive as I am, I wonder why this is. Am I simply slacking? Do I have too large of a calorie deficit and is my body telling me that I need to eat more? Is it simply me trying to find ways to justify cheating on my diet? I'm honestly not sure.

Maybe reaching goal has something to do with it. I mean, mentally I am finished with losing weight. Saturday I was at goal. Today I am not. I really want to be at goal weight ALL THE TIME. Refocus, Keld. Refocus.

Today I am determined (so far, anyways) to do good. I only gained 100 grams, which is more likely to simply be the fact that we had chili for dinner last night - it's good on the calories, but heavy in weight. This will of course push up the numbers on the scale this morning. Also, a larger portion of ice cream and other stuff weighs extra. I'm not really worried about the weigh-in. I'm much more concerned with that little evil demon sitting on my shoulder whispering in my ear. Does anyone have a demon swatter I can borrow? :)

So, today I have planned ALL my food. It's written in stone and IT WILL NOT CHANGE UNLESS IT'S CHANGING TO SOMETHING LOWER! This I need to do. I had a great breakfast, and I have an AWESOME and HUGE lunch to devour. I have snacks for my morning and afternoon, great dinner, and I have even prepared jell-o gelatin for dessert. What more could I possibly need?

If the fat demon comes to whisper, I can politely tell him to get lost. I have what I need, and if I crave anything I can take from the supply I have already entered.

I already did 30 minutes on my stationary bike this morning. Feeling bad about yesterday, I figured I should do this as top priority, so right after making breakfast for Wife and sending her off to work, I got on the bike. I figured I needed that more than journaling (and you guys know how important journaling is for me).

Damn, yesterday is haunting me. The more I write about it, think about it, the worse I feel about it. I mean, it could have gotten MUCH worse, there were plenty of things I did NOT do that I wanted to, but still.

Well, lesson learned - for now. I know there will always be days like yesterday - the trick for the future will be to either put it away or compensate for it. Right now, I'm not ready to compensate though. That'll have to be later.

Can we please un-discover chocolate? That would help me SO much. LOL!

Today is my longer day at work - 9 hours. I only have one interview, and one meeting. This will be my sit-down time, other than lunch and afternoon break. So that's about 2 hours total. The rest of the day I will make it a point to work standing up (as I usually do). It burns calories, and helps my posture.

Today, I am thankful for:
- A HARD decision to be back on track.
- A tiny weight gain (as opposed to a HUGE weight gain!).
- My stationary bike. It makes me feel that I am doing something.
- Almond flavored coffee. Almost as good as chocolate!

Happy Thursday, folks! Life is good!

177.3 lb Lost so far: 164.5 lb.    Still to go: 0 lb.    Diet followed poorly.

Diet Calendar Entries for 16 February 2012:
1824 kcal Fat: 59.86g | Prot: 85.77g | Carb: 234.67g.   Breakfast: Loppefrøskaller, Rye Bread (Reduced Calorie), Egg, Prunes Svesker uden sten, nakkekam. Lunch: Chili Con Carne with Beans Entree (Canned). Dinner: White Rice (Long-Grain, Cooked), Lettuce Salad with Assorted Vegetables, Mango Chutney, Chicken Thigh, husk, fat free dressing. Snacks/Other: Jell-O Sugar Free Low Calorie Gelatin Snacks - Orange/Lemon-Lime, Pears, Bananas, bell pepper, Plums, licorice. more...
3147 kcal Activities & Exercise: Bicycling (slow) - 11/mph - 30 minutes, Desk Work - 2 hours and 30 minutes, Sitting - 5 hours and 10 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours, Walking (moderate) - 3/mph - 20 minutes, Standing - 7 hours and 30 minutes. more...
on diet kingkeld's own diet   gaining 1.5 lb a week

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Comments 
i had that demon over weekend on my shoulder...and also a bit on monday... but now i'm pretty well back on track. sometimes it is absolutely hard to overhear that devilish demon... but you did well on already plan your whole day today. and i really hope, that this demon disappeared :) 
16 Feb 12 by member: joelae
I am pretty certain your hunger is derived from your exercise. Exercise will increase hunger (your burning energy, your body has to replace). I remember the old Kingkeld "I dont exercise and lost all this weight". And saw you begin that portion of your journey, and see you going all different directions now. I experienced this myself with my leg being in a boot/cast. My hunger went way down (Thank goodness). Remember this, your best thinking got you fat. I personally think the amount of exercise your doing is excessive. I had a kid tell me once, its 80% what you eat, and 20% what you do. So perhaps go back to the way you were when successful. You dont have to necessarily stop exercising, but in moderation. Everything in moderation... 
16 Feb 12 by member: posterchild66
Jo, thank you for your input, I'm thinking along the same lines myself. It's weird, you'd think that more is better, when it comes to exercise, right? I think I'll stick to my morning bike ride for a while and control the rest a little. Let's see what happens!  
16 Feb 12 by member: kingkeld
I agree with posterchild and I was gonna say more or less the same -excessive exercise and huge deficits will make you hungry. I've read in more than one place that short bursts of exercise are most effective for both muscle building and weight control. You don't need to be on your bike for hours, although you must have built up your stamina considerably. Let's see how you go..... 
16 Feb 12 by member: Earthlady
circut training.... elevate heart rate way up for 1 to 2 min then bring back to a moderate elevation. Its the most effective way to work out. Example, walk for 5 mins, jog for 2 mins, sprint for 1min, run for 2 mins - repeat for 30 mins. Very good way to maximize your time and burn that fat! And your not spending your life working out!  
16 Feb 12 by member: sarahduke
Exercise will definitely make you hungry, if it doesn't make you more tired. But I'm also wondering what effect reaching your goal has on you. As for the chocolate, how do you do with, say, dark chocolate (like at least 80% cocoa) when you have a craving. It has antioxidants, is good for you and may not bear the same results for you as rich milk chocolate. Just don't have it with milk or you may wash away the good properties. 
16 Feb 12 by member: Helewis
keld- SNAP OUT OF IT!!! You have come too far, and worked too hard, with the best goal for yourself in sight - and you have every reason in the world to succeed... YOU! You only have 6-8 weeks until your appt w/ the surgeon/dr - so here's my two cents worth.... RENEW your commitment, and get rid of these foods that are calling your name! Double down your resolve! For the most part, you have lost all of this by your dietary intake. Do not allow yourself to go over to the dark side and believe that the occasional 'off plan' indulgence is 'doable'!! It's not! You've still got a primary goal to reach, and until April is over, and the go ahead for your surgery is scheduled... no more chocolate! (you have read enough about cravings, empty carbs, sugars, etc.. to know that what you ate a day or two ago, is affecting you now.. that's where those darn cravings are coming from.) But you can outsmart them for the next month or two. I will say, I totally agree w/ the above posters on the amount or lengthy cardio sessions. You don't really want to be doing hours of exercise for the rest of your life, everyday - do you ?? Since you will eventually be adding in some type of 'muscle' work, the post by Sarah makes the most sense. Intervals on cardio will shorten your overall workout, and burn tons of calories to boot! You just have to challenge yourself, stay engaged in the workout - and just try it. One workout. And see how you like it. I am pulling for you to figure this out! (no excuses..just 100% forward motion to April!!!) Much Love. 
16 Feb 12 by member: jsfantome
I appreciate all the input from you guys. You are - of course - right. I am not too good with interval training, though. I don't like it. I will, however, tone it down to what I find absolutely necessary. Oh, and JP, I'm sorry that Tabby renamed you "Jo". :) 
16 Feb 12 by member: kingkeld
Try a 10 min on the bike. Pedal at a normal pace for yourself for 2 min's, then 30 sec all out as fast as you can...then catch your breath and rest for the next 2 min's, then all out for 30 sec's. Eventually, you can increase the resistance on the bike to make it harder, but just try it! 
16 Feb 12 by member: jsfantome
Hehe, I have been called worse than Jo. I keep thinking your Kitty is Tabby, but thats your tablet, lol. I almost forgot yeah you are almost at your goal with your evaluation for surgery coming right up! Slow and steady as she goes mate! I know you know what to do. Sorry if I seemed harsh, I am having a rough week at work. It will be over shortly! lol 
16 Feb 12 by member: posterchild66
I tend to think it is too much exercise, and your body is deficient in something (because of the amount of exercise you are doing). I remember reading somewhere (in fact more than one place) that 30-45 minutes is adequate... Anymore does not benefit you... If I remember rightly, it said intensive short bursts were better than a steady longer pace. So what Jsfantome says about 30 seconds all out, then rest is a good plan - although I wouldn't "rest" just pedal slower. ...... So speed /resistance of 50% of what you are capable of to warm up, then 70% for 5 minutes, increase speed and resistance to 90% of what you are capable of for a minute (you should be gasping at the end) then drop down to 70% for 5 minutes (or if you can manage just 3 minutes - this is just for recovery) then up to 90% again for a minute... Repeat this 'cycle' for 20 minutes. You can vary the speed thing by upping the resistance - this is just as good. You will think that you aren't burning so many calories - BUT the 'after calorie burn' is far longer doing intervals like this. I am sure you will get fitter doing this, rather than just pedaling for an hour. 
16 Feb 12 by member: Sk1nnyfuture
I kinda agree and disagree with all posters here. Agree that too much exercise does not help and hurts weight loss. Disagree that interval training is the best effective method. Do what makes you happy and never let perfect be the enemy of good. I hate interval training myself and I dont want to hate my exercise time. Its a lifestyle change, not a short term project that I can manage hating and getting over with. I make some weekly goals like exercise 3 X 20 min in a week. I dont focus on calories burnt but on keeping myself moving and engaged. Everyone has different goals and figure competitors might not agree to my philosophy but yeah, it works for weight loss. 
16 Feb 12 by member: ruchi0112
My question is whether it's realistic to set an expectation to be at your goal weight ALL the time? You're as aware as the rest of us that day to day weight fluctuates greatly at times. You've reached your goal, so I'm curious as to why your approach is to be more rigid rather than relax & enjoy the rewards of your hard work a little more. If you have concerns about the mental ramifications of the cravings, that's kind of a separate issue & I trust you will do what it necessary to deal with that. As far as maintaining your weight goes, can you define an acceptable RANGE for your weight to be in that won't freak you out? 
16 Feb 12 by member: kstubblefield
Kingkeld, you are the star of fs...everyone looks up to and admires you for your commitment, your compassion, and your wit :) I mean, who DOESN'T enjoy reading your journals every day??!! So, whatever you decide on, whether it's a change in your exercise routine, a change in your RDI, or just a change in your thinking about yourself, you have amassed a rather large following here, which also means you've gathered a bunch of folks who are pulling for you...so, hang tough, my friend. You'll know what to do...As for your little demon? Well, what does your very own signature say...Keep your enemies close, right? Make the little sucker WORK FOR YOU. And...BTW...you got room for one more buddy? I'm in! :) 
16 Feb 12 by member: Baxie
Kstubblefield - it's pretty simple: I need to be below 77 kgs to qualify for surgery. 77 is the BMI that indicates "normal weight". So below 77 is my goal for now and for life. It'll be easier to keep once I lose the loose skin - there's gotta be a few kgs in that. So yeah, 77 is the goal. I am hoping to reach maybe 75, and then be able to fluctuate up to 77 or so. We'll see how it goes. Today has gone great, I'm on target and doing well. More on that in the morning after my weigh-in. Let's see how I'm doing! :) 
16 Feb 12 by member: kingkeld
Baxie - How can I resist such compliments! I thank you for your support and welcome you aboard the Kingkeld cruise. :) 
16 Feb 12 by member: kingkeld
The KingKeld cruise... I love it!! Haha.. :) I think that you should readjust your goal weight to reflect 75 pounds.. just an idea - because then if 75 kg is your goal and you fluctuate between there and 77kg, it's ok.. If 77 kg is your ceiling for surgery, then you should be shooting for the floor (75 kg?) - maybe that will get you out of this little "I made my goal so I can cheat a little more" rut..?? Seems like you do really well when you are striving for a goal!! Just a thought.. like everyone else has said, we're all here for you and want to see your confidence and determination prevail!!! Much love and support to you today, Keld... 
16 Feb 12 by member: erika2633
I don't have any good advice to add after all these great comments, but I'm rooting for you too! You can do this. :) Hope the demon got its butt kicked today! 
16 Feb 12 by member: just.keep.swimming
I second erika....if 77 is the top, go lower for some wiggle room! 
16 Feb 12 by member: JenKatja
I said (sobbed) to my husband last night after I pulled a monsterous No, NO with my diet, "I can't do this anymore, its just too hard, and at my age what do I care if Im chubby!" He said calmly and matter of factly, "yes you can". Instantly I felt embarassed and suprizingly different about my diet....Its funny what a few words can do, from someone that believes in you. My demon got its A** run out on a rail for the time being.. Thats probably why we are all here.. 
16 Feb 12 by member: Carolyn Ray

     
 

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