DairyFarmersWife's Journal, 12 October 2018

You know that saying where someone tells you that life only gives you what you can handle or god only gives you what he knows you can handle or whatever other version of this saying you want to use? It's bull poop. It's all a stinky pile of manure. I think life does give us more than we can handle. I think that's why I feel like sticking my face into the center of a fudge cake and inhaling chocolate frosting. Can you breath chocolate frosting and still live? I'm not sure. My stress levels are so high right now I want to try inhaling gooey sweet chocolate. I'm not. I'm withholding but I want to.

I had a note to go see my sons teacher this week and it's not good. It's not necessarily bad but it's not good. He's in first grade and he's struggling. He had a tutor all summer long but still cant retain things. Take his alphabet for instance. He just can't seem to get all the letters right. He will have one that I know he knows. The second he gets one he doesn't know he loses the one he does know. His sight words he will know at home then can't recall them when he gets to school. We thought with a summer tutor that he would be ready for first but it seems like he's going backwards.

I'm kind of at a loss. Everything I did with his sister at this age isn't working. Anything new I try doesn't seem to be working. Online games like abcmouse or the school apps don't seem to be working. I'm looking for help now though his doctor, his school, and my work suggested a few psychologists just to have him assessed and to help him and I come up with a game plan or maybe figure out whats going on.

I'm lost. I have no clue how to help this kid other than being supportive, keep trying, and helping him believe he can do whatever he sets his mind to. Still... I want to eat lots and lots and lots of cake. There is a spin class today since there are none next week but.. I also want to buy shoes. I want to buy shoes, eat cake, and suck my thumb.

Diet Calendar Entry for 12 October 2018:
2910 kcal Activities & Exercise: Fitbit - 24 hours. more...

26 Supporters    Support   

I think I went thru what your son is going thru........or something like that........that alphabet gave me so much trouble and I couldn’t remember what the letter looked like..... not easy for the mom...... for me it worked out.....or maybe it hasn’t and I just don’t know it... take a deep breath.......and maybe finding a older child to play word games .. just someone that will make learning fun... I send you lots of love and good thoughts...... I was never a great student.  
12 Oct 18 by member: Char60
I've worked in education for a very long time. Early intervention is the key to helping a struggling child. You are doing everything you should be for your son. Take a breath. It will get better.  
12 Oct 18 by member: Bethlauren8
If you have access, there's an episode of When Calls the Heart titled “Second Chances” that has a good story arc about a student with letter problems. Please be sure your son can see well; I fooled my parents and teachers until middle of sixth grade. My daughter did similarly with hearing at an earlier age. 
12 Oct 18 by member: TomLong
Really good comment, Tom. Too often sight or hearing problems aren’t identified as the root of an issue with learning. Chin up, DFW. You’re clearly trying to support him well. Make sure he doesn’t feel pressured by “game-ifying” any practice you do with him and reward trying, not just success. All the best! 
12 Oct 18 by member: Phooka
God allows more trials and tribulations to come into our lives than we can handle so that we lean on Him. If everything is going our way, we become our own God and have no reason to even have a relationship with our Lord and Savior. Next time life is becoming to much, instead of going to the pantry, go to your Bible and ask the Lord for help. He’s waiting for you. You will keep going around the same mountain if you don’t learn the lesson. God is a jealous God and He will get your attention one way or the other. ❤️ 
12 Oct 18 by member: Concessiongirl
I'm feeling a very similar way today unfortunately. Can't think of any words of wisdom other than you're not on our own 💜 
12 Oct 18 by member: mrsp16
Thanks for the post - I can certainly identify with the struggling kid story - and the cake pillow is pretty intriguing. I am a believer that God doesn't "challenge" or give me "tests" to have me prove that I am faithful. I do believe that we must walk the path as it is laid out according to his plan. The rub here is that I don't get to know his plan for me up front (yes, I am talking about you pancreas). I just have to do the work and some days I am less than optimistic about things as presented to me from my perspective. I am sure that it looks insurmountable now - but you are stronger than you know and your journey to this point proves that. I try not to give kid advice as my little ones are grown now (I count living to adulthood as a success) - I had to find a way to connect their interest at the given second to the school learning goals (Nintendo 64 goldeneye James Bond game to math equations) to help him "get it". Some things worked and others didn't - and nothing was a common solution for any of my kids. I wish you all the best on your adventure and I will look forward to the next update.  
12 Oct 18 by member: tahoebrun
I understand. I think the first thing you should do is realize how young he is and that many kids are going through this and it's not the end of the world. It doesn't mean anything except that he's struggling a bit in school. Then, I think you should get him evaluated for learning disabilities and to see if there's anything else going on. My son has learning disabilities and is also gifted. He's a brilliant kid who is now 15 and doing well, but struggles greatly with writing (the mechanics and the brain to hands bit). If your son is not diagnosed with anything, that's great! But if he is, that's great, too, because then you will know more specific things to help him with to be successful.  
12 Oct 18 by member: LPBeachBaby
life sends us stuff to test us and its crap but your child needs you healthy and happy. hang in there for them. look for little victories here and there. if you crave a cake or something bad and don't eat it that's a victory. if you eat it forget it and move on. soon those little victories will build up and you'll see the benefits and then you have won. don't let anything beat you, you are better than that.  
12 Oct 18 by member: Howard 74
What I am about to say is not necessarily helpful. All I can tell you is one of our sons never wanted to look at books. I suspected that he was Dyslexic by the time he started school. His teacher said he'd never be good at maths and though I was angry with her for writing him off so young, I also considered the fact I am very weak with maths and thats been me all my life. When he was 12 he was top in that year in physics!!!!! He still hates reading and he's 37 now. He's no genius and has confidence issues but he does well. I suppose what I am saying is, this boy who had trouble as a little boy did really well when he got to the senior school and part of that was that he really liked his Physics teacher. I hope you find something that gets your son revved up, and he IS young now, eh. But I think its good to be aware and consider ways to help him. But not to freak out and fret. Best wishes x 
12 Oct 18 by member: Rindaloo
The school will have a psychologist on staff and they may recommend an evaluation. If you are willing, have the assessment completed. Additionally, whatever the results, all children learn differently. Boys are sometimes developmentally slower to learn new concepts. Whatever the outcome of the evaluation, don't let the school push you into the special education route unless there is a true deficit. Furthermore, a child will learn best in the regular education setting with a good teacher. As a former teacher and administrator, I can say with confidence, the best special education teacher will not do as much to improve skills than an average general education teacher. 
12 Oct 18 by member: Erquiaga
Don't want to scare you, but know I am here for you and will answer your questions on the forum or privately. 
12 Oct 18 by member: Erquiaga
All kids are different. We have 3 and each one learned differently. Your son needs to be evaluated and any issues need to be addressed. For my youngest (who did not take to learning the alphabet or reading) it was a need for glasses that was somehow missed. For my stepdaughter it was a more hands on experience at school. My I hate to read kid is now 21 and will do anything to get someone to take him shopping at Barnes and Noble. My stepdaughter graduated a year behind but she graduated. You can't fix something if you don't know what you're fixing. So go to the meeting, work on a gameplan and it will get figured out. Then give your kid a hug....because that should make you feel better.  
12 Oct 18 by member: Skylark12545
Father we thank you that you love this person. Give them wisdom and understanding in this situation so they know what to do. Give them strength, comfort, and peace in your presence. Most of all give them perseverance to keep going, and not give the enemy a foothold because we know he attacks us in our weakness. But in our weakness Lord you are made strong and give us victory. May all these things be done according to your will in Jesus name amen. 
12 Oct 18 by member: Mrs_J_
I had a pastor tell us one time that people who say that the Lord never gives you more than you can handle, dont really know the Lord. He will always allow more than you can handle, because He wants you to rely on him. He wants you to turn to Him and say "God, I cannot do this on my own, I need you!". Life is more than we can handle, ALONE, but with God on our side, we can handle ANYTHING!!! Youve got this! You can do anything, with Christ on your side!! You will get this all figured out! For now, go buy some shoes, take your spin class and stay away from cake!! lol Sending you my love and prayers.  
12 Oct 18 by member: Klynn82
If you have not had his eyes tested please do so asap. As young kids my cousin Rita and I had trouble learning to read. Turned out we were both visual learner with very bsd eyesight. Glasses did the trick. Could be just as simple for your son. Praying you grt answers soon. 
12 Oct 18 by member: BlueFront
you are wise to get professional help.  
12 Oct 18 by member: sallkr3


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