kaylinrenee's Journal, 23 March 2023

thank you all!!!! so much id like to work on with myself. confidence is a big one. i can run a bank and a team, but i cant confidently be alone in public. what even is that?! 🤣🙃 the logic fails me. ill get there! and sushi is a good motivator 

Or how to boost your self confidence! 

Love sushi and shashimi. My wife thinks I am crazy, but she will try it occasionally. On a sidenote, I traveled for business purposes extensively for many years, and there were many occasions in which I had to eat alone. I did not like it, but over time I came to accept that it is OK to eat alone. Though, I much prefer eating with a group of people. Hang in, you will get there.  

Ive always liked eating alone with a good book 

If you think about it, people who are so concerned about others looking at them when they go someplace alone—- we’ll, does that not seem like a narcissistic, self centered behavior to think that as soon as you walk in the door you become the center of attention. I mean, reall! 

Kenna I don’t think the issue has to be that everyone focuses on you. Maybe it’s not wanting someone to talk to. A way to slow down eating. Making memories. Could be lots of stuff 

Kenna - Most days you provide great insight and pictures. Then other days you come off as dense or out of touch with reality. People who struggle with what others think [which is practically everyone at some point in their lives] fear being out in public alone. Because it appears as if you're a loner. "That you have no friends or life" she may not be to that point yet where us old people get. Where we figure out no one really cares what anyone is doing. If they do then they have bigger problems than someone eating alone. But we all figure things out at different points in life. We also obviously look at things differently than one another. It doesn't make her narcissistic that she fears being in public places with couple's, families, friends. While she's eating alone. You should congratulate her on working to conquer her fear. 

Kenna is doing something that is done a lot in my family, and which I do to self soothe. don't be quick to be cruel to her/him. It gets used by me as a way to release me from obligation. I know it's probably negative and dysfunctional but it works. Anxiety makes you feel everyone's watching you. It makes you feel responsible for everything, and like you should be perfect all the time, and one of the most soothing ways to deal with it is to say 'so, you so important everyone notices you?' see? 'who are you, god that you expect to make no mistakes?' Does that make sense. Part of my internal monologue. I remember telling my then husband about my anxiety after drinking at a party. He said 'hey. what makes you think they're thinking about you at all? they're too busy being screwed up over the dumb things they did or said.' Anxiety kind if leaves a person feeling they're in the spotlight. It is a backhanded kindness to say 'hey, who even notices you?'. We have privacy. Another thing I have noticed as I have gotten older, is that as my thoughts about others are kinder, I also expect or assume them to be thinking kinder thoughts about me. so... take that how you like. Next time you see someone with beautiful hair, or a lovely sweater, tell them so. Watch their faces as they show happiness. Give that out to everyone you can. See how many people around you are suffering under the same thing, show them kindness and compassion, and the joy you reap from this will be amazing as you realise you're not alone, and they realise they're not alone, and everyone's stress levels go down one tiny notch. :) See the good in each other peeps. be kind. xx 

Wow, interesting turn that this sushi pic has taken.  

Friday drama. Been a minute.  

🍿 

Great job going out of your comfort zone to do something that you’re interested in doing! 

WHY is it always my posts 🙃🙃 

thanks all for coming to my defense. social anxiety is hard to describe. you feel like you're being watched and analyzed and judged. and to be honest, I'm pretty. i know. and people DO actually frequently stare at me. which makes it a million times harder, not easier. does that make me a narcissist or a realist.... who knows. All i know is i walk with my head down, and try not to make eye contact or small talk. i avoid crowded places and do grocery pick up if i can. i almost drove right by the restaurant, but noticed they were practically dead. i dont go to school events with my kids and i try not to take them in public because imagine if they were acting up and drew more attention my way.... now my anxiety is affecting them too, not just me. it needs to change. And that started yesterday. with sushi.  

Looks like your off to a great start! 

I get it, I can find it hard eating alone, I sometimes have to do it due to work or the hubby being on shift. It does look delicious 

Sorry so many people have this issue. I wasn’t born with that gene. 

Great job facing your anxiety, Kaylin. I heard Kenna’s comment the way bubbles did 

I used to be the same. After years of always having a kid with me it was a huge adjustment to eat out by myself. It takes a lot of time to get comfortable with it but I’m sure you’ll get there. It’s taken me about a year and it’s boring but doesn’t cause me anxiety anymore. One thing that helped me was calling a friend while I ate. Also eating where my family often goes so I can say hello to the hostess and servers. I’ve since branched out and can eat by myself at new restaurants even in other towns. Just that first bit of anxiety and then it’s fine. I also people watch to help. 

Well I agree with Joe except I find all of her posts annoying and given with an undertone of her own narcissism. A self proclaimed expert on all topics. No one needs to jump to her defense if you find my comment offensive because her recent journal post is she doesn't care what people think of her. lol