Toumina's Journal

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22 March 2018

Weigh-in: 235.7 lb

lost so far: 8.3 lb

still to go: 90.7 lb

Diet followed reasonably well

(3 comments) losing 4.5 lb a week

19 March 2018

Needed a low calorie lunch that would keep me full until our late St. Paddy's Day celebration tonight.

90g broiled asparagus sprinkled with salt and 1/2 tsp Parmesan cheese, 90g broiled portobello mushroom caps sprinkled with onion powder, garlic powder, and thyme. 65g sauteed shrimp marinated in 1/2 Tbsp Kraft Sundried Tomato Vinaigrette and 1 tsp lime juice.

(2 comments)

16 March 2018

So, I'm back, having recently come to the conclusion that I didn't really want to lose weight this whole time, both on FatSecret and during my breaks from it.

I know how to lose weight. I've done it before. And I know exactly what I need to do to do it again, yet these last few years I've managed to convince myself that not doing those things was part of my plan to lose weight. Ugh. We lie so well to ourselves.

So here's what I've accepted. For whatever reason, I subconsciously wanted to be fat for this time. I'm an introvert. I like being the person in the group who blends in with the background, who just listens, and only occasionally joins in the conversation. I like this, because I hate people seeing me. I feel uncomfortable when people look at me like they're really seeing me. I much prefer to be anonymous. Which is why I love FatSecret so much because I can actually be myself, without actually drawing attention to myself. What can I say? I'm a complex mess of a person, exactly like I suspect many of you are.

Anyway, it recently dawned on me that being fat was a way to make it more likely that people would overlook me, that they wouldn't focus on me, and... I was okay with that. And that realization led to another realization that I must be dealing with some mental and emotional shit because I don't think mentally and emotionally healthy people think like that.

So, after some therapy, I'm back. I'm not exactly ready for people to see me just yet, but I'm ready to start working on it. And I've decided that I actually don't want to be fat anymore.

(2 comments)

15 March 2018

Bust 46
Chest 41
Waist 42.5
Hip 52
Butt 51
One thigh 30.25
Both thighs 48.75
Arm 16.25

Weigh-in: 240.2 lb

lost so far: 3.8 lb

still to go: 95.2 lb

Diet followed poorly

(1 comment) losing 0.1 lb a week

28 March 2017

Meet my new scale! He arrived last week, and it's just amazing how quickly we established our love/hate relationship. For instance, you may notice that he puts me at 5 pounds over my last weigh-in, the little scamp. I thought maybe if I gave him some time to adjust to his new surroundings he would calm down a bit, but it seems that this is just his normal personality and I need to learn to live with it.

In all seriousness, I'm certain that I haven't gained 5 pounds, and that my old scale was just inaccurate. My visit to the doctor last week confirmed I've lost 8 from my starting weight on their scale, and this guy is dead on with theirs. So while I've actually lost 3 pounds since my last home weigh-in, I've accepted that I need to record a weigh-in that has me gaining 5 pounds so I can track it accurately from here on out. Sigh...

On the love side, this little guy also tracks body fat%, muscle mass%, water%, and bone density%. And he told me that I'm now at 47% body fat, which means I dropped under 50% fat! So he's redeemed himself. Somewhat.

(Please ignore my desperately-in-need-of-a-pedicure-toes. Seriously, I know it's bad, and I'm meaning to get to it as soon as I learn how to make time stand still.)

Weigh-in: 244.5 lb

lost so far: 0 lb

still to go: 99.5 lb

Diet followed reasonably well

(5 comments) gaining 1.1 lb a week

Toumina's weight history

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