A Happy Accident
Yesterday I recorded my first journal entry. I intended it to be a quick brain dump of my most private feelings recorded without much thought because I thought, "I'm the only one paying attention to this anyway." Soon after, I was surprised to see someone had commented on my journal entry. What?? The encouragement and support uplifted my day and my mood, and gave me a sense that maybe this could be the connection, community and accountability I feel like I've been missing. I hadn't even realized my settings were set to public when I'd posted my entry, but I'm happy for my little blunder. It's moments like these that remind me that sometimes something unexpected happens that pushes us out of our comfort zone when we least expect it. Instead of backing away, I want to seize this opportunity to be vulnerable by putting myself out there.
Reset
I've been using fatsecret since January but never to it's full extent. I'd only been using the site to help calculate calories and then recording my food and exercise in a tracker I'd made myself. Why do I always have to do things the hard way??? My initial thought was since I'm living outside of the US it would be hard for me to accurately calculate most of the foods I'm eating. But I think with the recipe calculator and adding in my own foods I think I might be able to get around that. Any tips on how I can better submit my own foods are welcome! Especially looking for a way I can add in pre-made store bought stuff if I only know the nutrition info but not the ingredients (reading kanji is tough, ya'll).
Since yesterday was the first time I'd taken time to use more of the fatsecret websites functions, my intention is to restart my diet and hopefully reset my mindset. Hopefully this can help me find some community and inspiration to keep me more accountable, but more importantly, make me feel happier/more positive about food and my body overall.
Goals
While I've pledged to lose 6 kgs (about 15 lbs) by July, I'd actually simply be satisfied with losing fat, specifically belly fat, and building more lean muscle. So if my overall weight doesn't change that much I'm okay with that, as long as I can see and feel a difference in the tone of my body.
Tracking on my own was so difficult. It was time consuming and I always wondered where my calories were coming from. With the different graphs and monitors on this site I can see a more accurate representation of what I'm consuming and better pinpoint how foods affect my mind and body. That being said, today I'm going to research how much fiber and protein I should aim to consume every day, along with how much fat and carbs. (I used to do atkins, which is initially how I lost about 100 lbs. After 18 months though I couldn't do it anymore. I'd completely changed my body and I missed eating carbs, so I went back to a "normal" diet, while still trying to keep in mind some of the healthier eating habits I'd learned. I gained 20 lbs of the original 100 I'd lost. Since then, I've been in constant battle with those 20 lbs.)
Another goal of mine, which is scarier for me because I feel like I have less control over it, is to find a community space to be a part of. This is something I've been missing for awhile and I feel like I have little control over. After all, I can't make someone like me or want to hang out or support me. Those kinds of things take time and depend on personality. I think it's also unrealistic for me to try and accommodate the feelings of others, and try to be liked by all. Try as I might, in despite of it all. The comments and support I received unexpectedly yesterday made me so happy, and helped focus my attention and motivation to give healthy eating another go.
Thank you for your support, you made my day :)
I'll do my best to be a supportive member of this community as well.
I'm looking forward to continuing my journey of self love, accepting my body and nurturing it with the healthy food and lifestyle I need and deserve.
**Side note, I got more sleep last night and while it's not the 8 hours I know my body craves, it's better than the sleep I've been getting the last week. I also signed up for a gym and will be going there for the first time today after work. Wish me luck! (The language barrier should make this an interesting and probably funny experience.)
