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Okay, so we've had a strange situation arise in our lives that will probably never happen again. My hubby's high school girlfriend died this week and he's been back and forth about whether or not to go to the funeral. They were together for 3 years, but haven't talked or seen each other in at least 16 years. The funeral is about 4 hours away and some friends of his from high school are going and asked him to go with them and stay over night the night before the funeral then drive back after. I told him to do what he needed to do, but not to feel guilty either way. If he goes he can pay his respects to a girl who was a good friend and I'm sure, at least for a while when they were young, he thought he would marry some day. If he doesn't go he shouldn't feel guilty because they haven't spoken or kept in touch for 16 years and have grown into different people than they were in high school.
I was always kind of jealous of her because she was his first love and she became a doctor and I felt she just had more to offer than I did, but he never went back to her, he never felt the need, he loves me so I guess I feel kind of guilty for those feelings now that she's gone. My hubby is my first love, I never had a relationship before him for longer than a few weeks and I haven't kept in touch with any of those guys. The only thing I can relate it to is if a friend from high school died that I haven't kept in touch with, what would I want to do? I'd probably feel the same as him and go back and forth. Anyway, I've just been thinking about it and how fragile life can be so I just had to get it out of my head. So, for anyone who's actually read this sorry for the lengthy journal.
In other news, I went for a run yesterday and ate decent, today will hopefully be much of the same. My son is still sick, but my daughter felt better by last night so she went to school and my hubby is home with my son today. Tomorrow I take my aunt in for surgery on her elbow and it's supposed to be a stormy day, so hopefully my car doesn't get hailed on or we don't have a tornado while she's in surgery.
I hope everyone has a great Tuesday!!
Diet Calendar Entries for 31 March 2015:
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1064 kcal
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Fat: 27.62g | Prot: 76.12g | Carb: 127.66g.
Breakfast: Green Hot Chili Peppers, Onions, John Morrell Diced Ham, Jif Creamy Peanut Butter, Kraft Natural Finely Shredded Reduced Fat made with 2% Milk Mexican Style Taco Cheese, Sara Lee 45 Calories & Delightful 100% Multi-Grain Bread, Egg Beaters Egg Beaters - Original, Splenda No Calorie Sweetener with Fiber, Coffee (Brewed From Grounds, Decaffeinated), International Delight Toasted Hazelnut Fat Free & Sugar Free Coffee Creamer. Lunch: Healthy Choice Golden Roasted Turkey Breast. Dinner: Bunny Bread Brat & Sausage Buns, On-Cor BBQ Sauce & Boneless Rib Shaped Pork Patties. Snacks/Other: Nature's Path Honey Almond Granola, Dannon Light & Fit Greek Yogurt - Strawberry, Cuties Clementines. more...
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1966 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Desk Work - 10 hours, Resting - 6 hours, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
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 Comments
That's crazy, I don't even know how I would feel in that situation (or even how my hubby would feel). I hope he doesn't feel guilty about whichever decision he makes though! Good luck with your aunt and the weather tomorrow!
31 Mar 15 by member: Asarver
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Good for you being supportive of what ever decision he goes with. It sounds like you have a strong marriage. I can see why he never felt any need to go back to here, or keep in contact with her.
31 Mar 15 by member: MellyHold
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Interesting... I could say my first TRUE love is my current boyfriend. I had more boyfriends than my current BF had girlfriends. . But I had 1 really sweet high school boyfriend. But after 16 years of not speaking I am not sure if I would go to the funeral or not. But then again, it is to show respect. She was apart of his life as a teenager. When teens date I find it more of a friendship if anything. (We were all to young to understand love no matter how much we thought we knew at that age) So I wouldn't let it get to you. I would of been jealous at first too.. But remember he chose you and he is still with you. There is a reason for that :) Be happy and confident. Be supportive in either decision because you are his back bone. Relationships go both ways.
31 Mar 15 by member: Panigale1199
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I would encourage my boyfriend to go if he were in this situation.
31 Mar 15 by member: Zena cahill
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I hope he goes for no other reason than to see friends in the context of loss. I think the situation will be psychologically healthy all around.
31 Mar 15 by member: FutureFitness
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This is a great journal entry. It speaks volumes about your kindness and vulnerability. I applaud your ability to be transparent with yourself and with us. I was contacted by my first love last year only to find that he died shortly after. I didn't learn about his death until nearly the year had passed. I felt a shameful disconnect when I heard the news because we knew one another so long ago and as you said in your journal, had gone on to live our lives. We make our choices, and I find most of the time our choices are really good ones. Sometimes it's a really good thing to allow the past to remain in the past. Unless of course your DH has a yearning to connect with his old buddies for a night. Funerals and weddings often reconnect friends and family. Thanks again for your thoughts and great writing.
31 Mar 15 by member: herpinusa
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Life is so fragile. I am sure whatever the choice, I hope you both find peace.
31 Mar 15 by member: iulani
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Thanks for all of the input! I'm with him whichever choice he makes, I just want him to be okay with whichever decision he makes. I think if the tables were turned he'd support me either way. He had a friend that died a couple of years ago and he didn't go to the funeral and I know he still feels guilty for that, so I think it may be cathartic for him to go with his friends and relive the past a little and relieve some of that guilt. I am lucky to have married a man with a big heart.
31 Mar 15 by member: mars2kids
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Yes, a hard choice for him. Good to hear you went for a run and have some of your focus back!
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