2ManyCurves's Journal, 18 March 2015

Today has been nothing less than painful. I couldn't eat so you wont find food logged in my diary. As some of you know from my journals before I found out I was pregnant, I had suspected my husband was cheating on me. Today, I received a call from the husband of the woman he has been having an affair. That's right. I'm five months pregnant and I was handed over the text messages between my husband and his wife as well as the photos this man took when he busted into a hotel room and found my husband having sex with his wife. Just last Monday my husband had went on and on about how excited he was that I was having a baby boy. It was going to be his namesake.

So, I did what any self-respecting attorney would do. I compartmentalized my emotions and drafted my own divorce petition and property settlement agreement whereby I will have sole custody of my unborn child with visitation, if any, at my discretion. I am also awarded both farms. He signed without hesitating so long as he got to keep his sports car. He even turned over guardianship to me of my stepdaughter. He then blocked her from Facebook and quit respondent to her texts pleading to know what her father had done.

I live in a small town. All of the nurses he worked with knew about the affair. I was the last to know. They must have felt sorry for me...pregnant, 40 and a cheating husband. I must admit that I wanted deep down to take a Louisville slugger to that sports car. I wanted to hurt him so bad. I even cried most of the day because as much as I am smitten with my baby, the idea of having a child grow up split between two homes and then of course my own selfishness of not wanting to have anything that will keep me attached to him for another 18 years, I honestly considered an abortion. I can't do it though. I feel this baby kick me. I have talked to him and sang to him at night. I love this little baby already.

His girlfriend called me tonight crying and boo-hooing about not knowing I was pregnant. She claims that he told her we are separated and we had went to see a divorce attorney. Silly girl, I am a divorce attorney.

This hurts so badly. I wont lie. I feel foolish. And I know many of you saw this coming. In retrospect, why could I have not trusted my own gut feeling before he got me pregnant. He had admitted that he was trying to get me pregnant and that he really wanted a baby with me. I had been focusing on getting accepted into medical school and had given up on a baby after all those years of failed fertility treatment. We were going to give this baby his name. It was going to be a junior.

I know the best revenge is living well. But I've decided I'm giving my baby the same name as the man who called me today crying because he had found my husband in a hotel room with his wife. She had left her 2 year old and 6 year old to whore it up in a hotel with my husband. I know many of you may see my little final middle finger at my husband as immature. I'm ok with that. Immature won't put me behind bars. But I think it pretty well seals the fate that my husband (soon to be ex) wont want anything to do with a child named after his girlfriend's spouse. It's all I've got. And, frankly, I like the name Luke.

So there it is folks. My life crumbling in front of your very eyes. We are going to be ok though. I'm a marathoner. I've covered 26.2 miles by foot. This is just one more difficult journey.

Peace and love to you all.

---

345 kcal

Fat: 7.50g | Prot: 10.50g | Carb: 58.50g.   Lunch: McDonald's Fruit 'n Yogurt Parfait. Dinner: Mountain Dew Diet Mountain Dew (20 oz Bottle), Taco Bell Bean Burrito. more...