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Heartbreak
My Boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years almost. Last night he told me he did something unspeakable. He has done this before but to lesser degrees and promised never to do it again each time and i forgave him. He always confesses immediately after as our relationship was a very honest one. He has met my parents, who adore him and we were sure we were going to spend our lives together.
You know when you reach a certain level of comfort with someone ? they know everything about you and you know everything about them and you accept and even grow to love their flaws ? He adored me and called me beautiful even when i felt like crap.
It's all over now and at 22 this is my first heartbreak. He was my first boyfriend and man does this feeling suck. I can understand why the traditional cure for heartbreak is food. My kingdom for a pint of Ben and Jerry's / a box of Godiva chocolates or something comforting like a deep dish lasagna with beef, soothing tomato base and tons of warm melty cheese. Or as i would like to call it "the campaign to turn the hole in my heart into an artery blockage".
I have ways to deal with emotions so i don't eat them but boy i am really out of my league here. This is a whole new world of emotion and hurt i honestly don't know how to deal with. Any advice would honestly be appreciated.
In the meantime i am going to throw myself in exercise . . . off to train for my 5k. Thanks for listing to my love lorn rant everyone.
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 Comments
I don't mean to give you crappy advice, but... in some ways, you can use this moment as a way to motivate you to peel away any layers of self-doubt to reveal the the super uber awesome person you are! Knock out that 5K, reach those goals you've always wanted to reach, and show Mr. Unspeakable what he's missed out on... AND, it can help you to focus on you. It's probably not good advice to say to do it to show off to him, but it's worked for me in the past. :) Instead of showing anything the the guy, I proved I was alright on my own, though, and I learned that the guy just wasn't the right one for me. :) Good luck to you, though.
30 Apr 11 by member: Devrinator
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Artica
So sorry to hear this happened to you but proud of the way you are handling it. I eat for lots of the wrong reasons this one as well but probably not to the extent you have described. I think focusing on a positive, near term goal and reward may help you get through the next few weeks, so the 5K and training seems to be it for you. Pick a nice reward for yourself if you meet your goal, like completing it in 45 minutes. Then reward yourself, whatever you want, clothes, spa treatment, 40 year old Cognac, ice cream cone, whatever it is you like.I think this helps enforce part the positive reward system and behavior that I know I am trying to enforce, you probably are too.
All that said, since this is the first time you have had your heartbroken the only thing I can tell you that cures it is time. Since this is the first time this has happened to you you may think that this awful feelings you have will never go away, but they do, it just takes a while. Certainly, surround yourself with friends who love you and support you and your goals and they will help keep you on track while you work your way through this. This is the first time this has happened but it probably won't be the last, sorry to say. But its worth the risks, the reward of finding the right person for you.
Hang in there
30 Apr 11 by member: pakalika
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I really feel for you - but coming from lots and lots of experience - someday you'll look back and say "What the hell did I see in him?" Go on with your new life - you are better than all that.
30 Apr 11 by member: BuffyBear
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I know exactly how you feel, Stay strong and take it day by day. I was recently engaged, my boyfriend cheated and we are now in a very weird place, i forgave him, but i dont trust him. I'm an emotional eater so i wanna eat to help me with the pain. I try hard day by day to do postive things instead. Keep your head up!
01 May 11 by member: zeikiya989
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I'm not going to tell you what to do, because everyone has to deal with pain in his/her own way. What I do can tell you is that diving into food is exactly what I did and girl it wasn't a good idea! In the year 2005 I got divorced from my 8 years wife (and 8 years of knowing each other before that), the first girlfriend I had and the person I chose to grow old with. After that I ate and drunk to ease my pain. In 6 years since that happened I won more that 30 kilos (66 lb) of weight. I not only lost my health, but also my confidence, Self Esteem and willingness to know new people or visit old friends. Only recently I've gone back to be how I used to, and that is, in part, due to my decision of loosing the weight.
You know it to be true, not from your experience (you are very young), but because everybody will tell you: The pain will go away and you will meet someone better. I promise you.
01 May 11 by member: jurrabi
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Ditto to all that's been said. I would just add to be true to yourself, and remember that overall you're still a very beatiful lady with a lot a great qualities to share. Hang in there buddy.
01 May 11 by member: Pking
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Sorry to hear you're going through this Artica. It sucks, but you now have the choice to let this experience make you better/faster/stronger!
I've been through the whole "getting comfortable" stage with a past relationship (6 years), and to tell you the truth- it was actually a huge negative for us individually, and relationship-wise. we were both overweight and lazy.
When she wised up and left me, it was the best thing for both of us- I went from 130+ kgs down to 105kgs, and she got fit and went on to a gym instructing career.
You've got the power to make his loss your win. Good luck!
02 May 11 by member: rxavier
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