FullaBella's Journal, 30 November 2013

Saturday Afternoon - November 30th. Despite the frequency and length to which I journaled in the past I feel the need to do so much more right now. This week has been a blur; recording these details will help me later I'm sure.

After submitting my journal this morning I found myself at loose ends. My energy has peaks and valleys. I realized I was hungry and wanted to dine out again - something that I haven't been able to do with any spontaneity or convenience for so long. I also wanted to spend some time with my grandson's so I phoned them and said 'If you can get up and be here in 15 minutes I'll buy you breakfast at Cracker Barrel - they were here in 5. The promise of food to two growing boys - get's 'em every time.

I can't remember if I mentioned this but WoodWick has incredible candles. They flicker like a fire and the scent of a medium candle fills the house. Another first in a long time - burning candles in the home. Any scent like that, even a warming pot, caused Cutty even greater difficulty breathing.

After breakfast we went to Lowes. My backyard has taken a backseat the past few weeks. Several freezing temperature days in a row and my mums are all gone. I picked up a flat each of purple and yellow pansy's. I will plant them either this evening or tomorrow. I remembered thinking how Cutty will enjoy them when he looks out the bathroom window. I still forget.

Soft little timing bells continue to ring. When Cutty turned 65 on his birthday in October I was able to enroll in his insurance; it became effective the first day of November. And he reminded me constantly to take care of it until I did. He knew.

Many people in town often joked that Cutty was the equivalent of 'The Godfather' so in honor of him I put the DVD on today and invited the grandson's over. My SD refused but later appeared saying 'can't be home alone right now.' Did I ever mention Cutty's TV in the living room has a 73 inch screen? It's like a private theater in here. The bedroom TV is 62 inches; we call it 'the small TV'.

Breakfast at Cracker Barrel was 'Mama's French Toast' and hot tea. Obviously my two little munch monsters don't wake with as great an appetite as they display in the evenings. I fully expected them to finish off the other three slices of my toast; they didn't. Neither did I. I just had Orville Buttered Popcorn for the first time in nearly a year with a Seagram's Blackberry Sparkling Water. I'm craving Italian food thanks to the movie. I may go out for dinner again.

The funeral home phoned to tell me Cutty's cremains (what a word, aye) were already returned and available to pick up. I thought it took weeks. I'm not even going to scatter them until January 10th (the day we got engaged).

I found a Christmas tree I liked at Lowes but watched the last one be snatched by another family. Ahh well, that's why there's online ordering. It's 7.5 feet tall. A life size tree in my living room for the first time in nearly ten years. I haven't decided a theme yet. One day at a time.

Thank you for stopping by. Bless you.

Bella