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Wednesday. Cloudy. Raining. Unless you just flew in from another universe you don't need me to tell you what I think about the fifth day in a row of this weather. Yes, we need this rain to reverse the horrid drought. I don't mind the rain. I just miss the sun. Can't we have both?
I compromised. I didn't dash under the patio umbrella or back inside when the rain started pelting me this morning. I just pulled up my soggy big girl pajama bottoms and kept digging. I was giving 'MumsieDearest' (dead mum) a proper burial with a little prayer she would return next year.
The massage last night began with her being 20 mins late but don't shield your eyes - I didn't use the box cutter. In fact, I think I deserve a pretty red lollipop for saying (and meaning) 'seriously, I'm fine. How about we set down and let you have some water, rehydrate, collect your thoughts and catch your breath. It's not good for you to be so hurried and stressed' (said the patient to the therapist, LOL)
But I think because of that she wanted to give me the deep tissue treatment of a lifetime. I finally called 'Uncle!' and asked her to back off a bit and then asked for her to switch from DTM to Swedish. I slept really well and the pain is 'less'. I'm on the fence for 'what's next' because I knew, without her explaining it to me last night' that the issue is the muscles in my back and legs are so tight that my circulation is horrid hence the ever increasing pain and recent 'limping' development.
The 'fence walking' is because I am concerned if she does release that frozen mass of banded muscles, my back will go 'out'. It felt so weak last night after her manipulation I fell asleep praying (it wouldn't). If you've ever had a pinched nerve in your back and endured the massive relentless spasms, inability to stand upright, had to crawl to the bathroom on your stomach or prayed for a coma, you understand my hesitation.
On the other hand, to continue to let my muscles atrophy at a time when I'm consciously attempting to be healthier in other areas seems like ... well, save the metaphors, it's stupid. Great, I'm going to have the healthiest blood sugar and cholesterol in my wheelchair volleyball league. Yay me.
And it doesn't take a PhD in psychology to smirk at my own irony. She asked 'what about your right leg.. I'm surprised you've not mentioned it.' My right leg is actually WORSE for pain than my left leg; it's the one that BURNS like I'm being hit with a cattle prod if I stand too long. But, I can still bear weight on it without limping.
So shame on me for only caring about my health when it became 'visually' apparent I had pain and a health issue. If not for the left leg, likely from years of compensating for the right, having reached an unbearable pain level, I'd still just be 'toughing it out'. I blame Madison Avenue and growing up with the slogan 'No Pain.. no Gain'. Only now I'm asking 'what did I gain with all that pain?'
It's TIME to deal with more issues. I just need to have a 'back up' plan for someone to take care of DH & Mushy if I end up unable to walk for a few days as I get through this part. I really do want to get the therapy and do the exercises to strengthen my back.
And in closing today as we approach the 'holiday' season' well, I think the history books are in need of a little clarity and rewrite. We had an informal 'thanksgiving' here in Bellawood today - oven roasted hen with stuffing and cranberries on the side, homemade mac & cheese (used 4 different cheeses), and biscuits with gravy. Over an hour of preparation, two hours of cooking, and forty minutes of dealing with leftovers and clean up. All for a meal that took DH less than 5 minutes to consume.
I'll bet if we could hop in the DeLorean and travel back we'd discover the first Thanksgiving had nothing to do with making peace. I suspect those early settler wives were actually implementing 'pot luck' and getting someone to help scrub the roasting pans afterward.
Thanks for stopping by ~ have a great day. Oh, look, it's raining... STILL .....
Bells
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